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Re:
You bet FS and it can get a bit hairy when not so young. I always wear garlic.
posted by
C_C_T
on August 27, 2012 at 10:28 AM
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Re: ChiffChaff
Well I wish I had your talent Wiley, I would have converted so many things my other brother Pat is like you and I miss him for those jobs that require a skilled spanner. Sadly he is hopeless at the computer, so we have to help him more these days since his heart op.Arthur is the whizz kid as I told you before he now builds ours trouble is I have four,
posted by
C_C_T
on August 27, 2012 at 10:27 AM
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Young love is incredibly exciting.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on August 27, 2012 at 9:05 AM
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ChiffChaff
I agree with PatB's comment. Beautiful poetry but I sure don't ever remember being so romantic as to overcome lust and replace it with poetry as a young man. Well actually your poetry is well beyond my education and ability to always understand it perfectly and reading Pan's comment here to your post, cements that feeling of my lack of education.
posted by
WileyJohn
on August 27, 2012 at 8:18 AM
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Re: Pannonian
Yes you were right the period was unsettling. Hope you don't mind ( shaking in this context appears rather, well ungentle. I would have liked to have used awakened but a search through three dictionaries proved negative so at last I found (wakened) in the Shorter English dictionary. Pan my early boyhood well in the Pay corps not voluntary I can assure you, was spent reading Paper books such as (Hot Dames on cold Slabs). Thank you I love suggestions, but a word in your pearl-like, don't try it on the poetry Blog. I am past the stage of thinking everything I write is Kosher.
posted by
C_C_T
on August 27, 2012 at 8:03 AM
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Re:
Yes Andohr I try to write in between but there is not a lot of time in summer and answering comments, well you know. I really should write and ask how Sam is.
posted by
C_C_T
on August 27, 2012 at 7:38 AM
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Re: It's so sweet and sad and nostalgic.
Pat this was written over 55 years ago but all good poets die young as you know.
posted by
C_C_T
on August 27, 2012 at 7:34 AM
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Re:
Hi Shobana do you think it is ethical to wear orange sun glasses to hide the bags under my eyes ?
posted by
C_C_T
on August 27, 2012 at 7:30 AM
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Re:
posted by
C_C_T
on August 27, 2012 at 7:07 AM
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CCT
This is a crit, not a pat on the back (I am assuming you prefer constructive, well-meant crits to a pat on the back) I had to read the first stanza several times to make sense of the last line. (The problem is the period after the word “spring”.
Is the metaphor “shaken earth” an allusion to Pilar’s “Did the earth shake for you Inglés? In Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls? Would “shaking earth” instead of “shaken earth” read better, I wonder.
Some nice metaphors here.
posted by
Pannonian
on August 27, 2012 at 6:19 AM
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How lovely the last line - very sensuous CC.
posted by
shobana
on August 27, 2012 at 4:12 AM
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It's so sweet and sad and nostalgic.
Hard to believe such romantic appreciation could live in a young boy's hormone-addled brain. On the other hand, there was a very sweet and thrilling first kiss that lives in memory.
posted by
Pat_B
on August 27, 2012 at 2:59 AM
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Either verse can stand on its own, but much nicer together. This is familiar too , isn't it? But nonetheless an enjoy to read.
posted by
adnohr
on August 27, 2012 at 2:44 AM
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