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Re:
fun comes before anything with him
posted by
Lanetay
on July 27, 2012 at 8:47 AM
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You just have to decide how you want to deal with this and then be firm about it. I'm sure he thinks of you as a pushover and probably you are way to soft and yielding. They will never learn to make their way in this world as long as they depend on you for everything.
posted by
TAPS.
on July 27, 2012 at 8:32 AM
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Re:
he thinks I have money so he doesnt worry about it, he gets that from his selfish mom
posted by
Lanetay
on July 27, 2012 at 7:23 AM
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Oh dear, I hope he comes to realization soon too Lustor.
posted by
shobana
on July 27, 2012 at 1:15 AM
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Re:
hope so too
posted by
Lanetay
on July 26, 2012 at 12:42 PM
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Here is to hoping that there is a speedy solution.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on July 26, 2012 at 9:18 AM
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Re: Stop it now!
no he actually told her it was alright for her to quit and she thought she had a couple of jobs and they fell through, he wants to play and not pay
posted by
Lanetay
on July 25, 2012 at 3:43 PM
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Re:
yes that is both of them and his mom lives off the government so its natural for him he is too much like her
posted by
Lanetay
on July 25, 2012 at 3:42 PM
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Re:
the more I lecture the less she hears and I try to deal with her
posted by
Lanetay
on July 25, 2012 at 3:41 PM
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Stop it now!
Tell them kindly that you cannot pay their living expenses, period end of story and that they cannot move in with you. Stick to it and if he is the only bread winner tough that is his wife, he should take care of her. You have kept them up long enough. You don't like to have show downs with them I know but you need a life of your own. Tell them and if the daughter gets mad at you too; okay she will get over it and come around, if he gets mad so what. If he leaves your daughter because he had to take care of her for a bit, then he is good riddance.
posted by
Justi
on July 25, 2012 at 1:53 PM
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That's what's known as a HUGE dilema, and a terrible one at that! My wife lived through a similar scenario years ago when her teenaged niece moved in for a while. When the smoked clear and she finally moved out ( just before we got married ), her general demeanor and attitude forced me to permanently attach two words to her to descibe her: unappreciative ingrate. Does that hit home at all?
posted by
JimmyA
on July 25, 2012 at 1:29 PM
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If you don't ask him personally to take care of the things you are paying for he is going to let you pay! You said you are doing it for your daughter but that's seems to me that you are enabling her behavior, she will let you pay, too! You have to be firm but not over bearing and just tell BOTH of THEM that you are done paying their way! Your daughter and SIL are very young and so the phones and games are very appealing to them! Young people live in the moment for the most part and that's another issue to deal with as well! Just state what you are not going to do for THEM and stick to it! Personally I think y'all eat out too much for your budgets and for me that's simply wasting money! sam
posted by
sam444
on July 25, 2012 at 1:03 PM
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