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Re: Re: Man, this IS vivid - I felt like I was there myself!
Makes sense. What is the name of your poem? I'd like to read it.
posted by
aceblade
on February 2, 2012 at 2:38 PM
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You describe the melody well.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on February 2, 2012 at 9:45 AM
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Re: Man, this IS vivid - I felt like I was there myself!
Would the rhythm improve if you replaced the "and" in line 5 with a comma? It reminds me of a poem I wrote (4/29/11) about an Italian festival in the Bronx when I was a kid. Look at it if you get the chance. I think you did more with less, but both of them are after the same feeling.
posted by
2902
on February 2, 2012 at 5:51 AM
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Man, this IS vivid - I felt like I a
posted by
2902
on February 2, 2012 at 5:33 AM
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