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It had to be very difficult! I had a similar experience with family and I went for the niece as you did with the nephew! It's their day and anything that can be done to make it memorable in a good way will be rewarded! sam
posted by
sam444
on October 26, 2010 at 2:18 PM
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I am sorry this all came about for you. I must say you acted Christian in loving your family enough to go to all the trouble you did to be with them. To me it is not about how, who, what one does to exercise their faith. It is about the relationship with Almighty God and their following the Word. Not showing love to your family and the family of God is not following the Word.
posted by
Justi
on October 25, 2010 at 11:49 AM
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I find it curious that so many people feel compelled to make religion the focal point of their lives and yet go on to have families rather than joining the priesthood or a monastery (or nunnery). It would seem to me that if one were to commit to a family - especially to children - then that commitment should be the most important in your life apart from your commitment to yourself.
What is it about these people that makes you feel like you should be more zealous? Are you reacting purely to your perception of their judgements?
posted by
lionreign
on October 25, 2010 at 8:10 AM
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I tend to agree with tzippy. Does your sister know how it makes you feel? And do you know how she really feels?
I would say don't analyse it.
posted by
Azur
on October 25, 2010 at 1:32 AM
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I couldnt help myself and I read all the comments too :)
I am happy to say that i dont agree with anyone lol, before you judge me..... before u make me feel left out...... this is what i have to say.....and I am on your side, and I do understand you..... and I dont like to admit it, but I have felt the same way you feel; being that my family is radical religious.
but.....it's not about how she treats you, its about how you feel.... Its about what you do... and it's about what you think....that's the important part of the journey called life..... So the question is why are you allowing her to make you feel uncomfortable??? what gives her the power to make you feel less than....what is stopping you from standing up for yourself and saying, I demand to be treated like........however it is that you wish to be treated....
posted by
Tzippy
on October 24, 2010 at 11:36 PM
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Hi malcom I once read somewhere that weddings cause more upset in families than any thing else. Actually I don't think you playing the same way that I would do. If were in the same circumstances no way would I go. However I don't mind telling a few white lies I would go along with it and then two days before the event go down with a peculiar type of flue that was endemic in the area, cough a bit over the phone and sound sad. Much happier ending. Be lucky.
posted by
C_C_T
on October 24, 2010 at 11:15 PM
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Well Malcolm, you have all that you need all around you and that is what matters. Thank you so much for stopping by.
posted by
shobana
on October 24, 2010 at 8:07 PM
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I feel you are very much in the right and the view you have on God's creation is spot on!
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on October 24, 2010 at 5:40 PM
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I dont agree with people who are so outwardly about their religion and find it to be phoney, just my opinion and you should feel left out if your sisters treats you second best, after all you were both created by the same God
posted by
Lanetay
on October 24, 2010 at 4:56 PM
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Why do I feel second best?
I liked the anecdote about your grand father and the elbow grease
posted by
Cheerygirl
on October 24, 2010 at 3:22 PM
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Oh, Malcolm...
My dear friend, you are most certainly NOT being silly at all! How horrible of your sister to treat you and your family in such a cold manner. Especially at a wedding for her son. I too, hav e a problem with those who behave in such a crude-and, dare I say it-cruel way toward those they are supposed to share the love of God the Father and Jesus the Son with.
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on October 24, 2010 at 1:52 PM
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Dear friend...I call them Happy Clappys which isn't really meant to be
derogatory....just politically incorrect. Trouble with this type of ....endorphine filled worship is that yes, the exaulted feelings do tend to separate a person from reality and one can forget other forms of worship are possible. Join me or leave.......I am sorry that your beloved family are leaving you with these feelings of left out....they probably have no realization that you feel this way,being so caught up in their unearthly spiritual extasy. being really horribly judgemental of themfora moment,I find many of these churches very selfishly inward looking,uninterested in whether outsiders may be hurt, they will us every means ...a wedding a funeral; to encourage others to join their way. Sort of my way or the high way type thinking. ...Ys I was in one of those Churches for a bit....I suppose I didn't belong there.....I don't really belong in any church actually.
posted by
Kabu
on October 24, 2010 at 12:14 PM
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Malcolm
Catholic siblings etc. I can certainly relate my friend. Most of my siblings still alive are very distant emotionally. Except for my oldest living brother Joe, who is 86 now but he is ex military too so our connection is more down to earth. Of course I divorced once and re-married and Catholics are the most judgemental so my siblings can't really affect me anymore.
posted by
WileyJohn
on October 24, 2010 at 11:06 AM
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Malcolm, I couldn't agree more kind soul ~ Love should Shine --- the fruits come to bear when Love is there. I am glad however that you attended this very special event. Sometimes life can embitter those we are near and are dear to us; and this to me is one of the saddest things in life...it's hard to see those unhappy or weary that we love. Yes, probably your Sister was weary from events. At any rate ~ Have a beautiful, blessed Sunday- I know you will. Elyse
posted by
elysianfields
on October 24, 2010 at 10:26 AM
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