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Its good too, I like it, but I liked the first version too and I can't wait
to read the next chapter. Here is a link to the poem you couldnt find, Please let me know what you think
http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/Tzippy/667630
posted by
Tzippy
on August 17, 2010 at 10:05 PM
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Re: Yes, I'd like to know how you will restore the currency of hopes and dreams
Hello Straightforward & thanks for your comment.
It may be a little while before you get to find out how I resolve the currency issue because I am re-writing the 1st submission in the hope of improving my work.... I feel it is better to go for accuracy than speed.
I would love to hear you opinion of the 2nd version when I post it though.
posted by
BedOfRoses
on August 15, 2010 at 6:58 PM
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Re: very inspirational and wonderful first post
Thank you Tzippy. I actually knew it didn't belong as soon as I wrote that cliche but left it???
I am glad I inspired you.
posted by
BedOfRoses
on August 15, 2010 at 6:52 PM
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Re:
Thank you TAPS. I will strive to improve.
posted by
BedOfRoses
on August 15, 2010 at 6:50 PM
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Re:
Thank you Sam444, you are very kind. I will actually be re-writing the piece and then re-posting so let me know if you think it's improved once I finish it.
posted by
BedOfRoses
on August 15, 2010 at 6:49 PM
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Yes, I'd like to know how you will restore the currency of hopes and dreams
in this scenario. Look forward to your next post
posted by
Straightforward
on August 15, 2010 at 6:52 AM
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very inspirational and wonderful first post
as a matter of fact this has inspired me to write something, I m not sure yet what, but I will write it right now, check it out when you return.
the only thing you need to change on this post is the cliche, 'lead a horse to water' and it will be a masterpiece. (Only because cliche's make it dull)
posted by
Tzippy
on August 14, 2010 at 9:15 PM
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Great first post. I hope you write many more here.
posted by
TAPS.
on August 14, 2010 at 5:11 PM
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This is outstanding! Welcome to Blogit! sam
posted by
sam444
on August 14, 2010 at 5:01 PM
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Re: welcome aboard!
Thank you so much for your comment, it has really inspired me to pursue my writing.
posted by
BedOfRoses
on August 14, 2010 at 12:33 PM
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Re: Fine first blog and allegory
Thank you for your feedback Carl and I will definitely take your advice on-board.
A friend of mine who is not a writer but a avid book reader basically said the same thing so I will try re-writing it and if you wouldn't mind reading the revised work and giving me more feedback I would really appreciate it.
posted by
BedOfRoses
on August 14, 2010 at 12:29 PM
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Fine first blog and allegory
Have you thought about expanding on this somewhat, giving names to some of the other characters and fleshing out the scenes you described? There must be a good three or more chapters here for a novel.
Glad to have helped you get started,
Carl Peter
posted by
cpklapper
on August 14, 2010 at 3:38 AM
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welcome aboard!
quite a talent..
posted by
manawar
on August 13, 2010 at 4:19 PM
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