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This captures so many feelings of modern times...the valley of death of the cold dead hearts was awesome for calloused modern living...and the faith versus fear can be an ongoing struggle ...a very striking modern-day Psalm. I will read it several times to get a significant grasp of it. Outstanding!!
posted by
mariss9
on July 4, 2010 at 8:32 PM
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Good use of refrains and obviously impassioned
If you proofread again and correct your errors you will have a publishable submission. Work some more on your imagery and it will be superior.
Good effort,
Carl Peter
posted by
cpklapper
on July 4, 2010 at 10:22 AM
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I had the distinct feeling this time that it was very Psalm-like! I love the refrains, they blend so well and the resolve at the end is stupendous! Also, it is truly a classic and there are competitions out there on the net with a Christian influence but the bottom line is that it would be worth a Google effort to see what one makes you comfortable or more than one and enter a contest, one never knows until they try! And, the end totally wrapped it up for me for one of my favorite Scriptures is "Be still and know I am God." Love that one! The reference indirectly to Psalm 23 was powerful! I am so sorry that we got our communication mixed up, I noticed that you are fully aware how to sell your work on Blogit! That was what I was referring, too! I know little about marketing work for it has never an interest! So sorry for my error! sam
This has been an incredible effort! Thank for your insight regarding my ailments! I did have a good day and was able to mess around in my flower beds.
posted by
sam444
on July 3, 2010 at 3:55 PM
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This sounds very awesome and real on first read. Will go back again when I am more awake and give it the attention it deserves. Thanks for the comment on the home biz and the sale. I got it and will read it tomorrow. I am glad yours worked for you and you can stay with your kids. Happy 4th!!
posted by
mariss9
on July 2, 2010 at 9:37 PM
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Beautiful, Zippy! I have answered your previous question about Vyktor. Again, breathtaking work!
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on July 2, 2010 at 6:25 PM
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this is like a psalm very lovely to read and so full of emotion.
posted by
Kabu
on July 2, 2010 at 1:33 PM
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I think it is really great how one blogger's posts can inspire another blogger to think, to meditate, and to write a post of his/her own that is so very different, expressive and yet is expanding upon the original inspiration of the other blogger. Sam444's postings are quite inspirational. I have often gotten ideas to write from what she has written.
posted by
TAPS.
on July 2, 2010 at 10:56 AM
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Judging from this I say that you have a knack for writing poetry. Loneliness is a theme that I have been able to relate to well myself.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on July 1, 2010 at 5:13 PM
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Tzippy, Yes, these are lyrics to be sung, not simply recited. Good work in your soul!
posted by
dsm_tchr
on July 1, 2010 at 10:04 AM
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Powerfully prayerful and intimate, Tzippy!
Stunning work; light in the dark, faith alive and leading. Kudos..
posted by
Katray2
on July 1, 2010 at 7:05 AM
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Tzippy
Z You’ve been there love . BC-A, Bill’s RJLst
posted by
BC-A
on July 1, 2010 at 6:54 AM
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I found myself with a peaceful smile on my face; in so many lines you've captivated random thoughts I've had about our Creator, about life, fears, and that unshakable knowledge that there is, after all, someone in charge. Good job. A nice read for me, first thing in the morning, my friend!
posted by
Darson
on July 1, 2010 at 6:51 AM
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This could be set to music,
I can hear violins in the background, the strum of mandolin and a folk guitar. Maybe just for contrast a bit of klezmer spirit.
posted by
Pat_B
on July 1, 2010 at 6:30 AM
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This is a song of the soul,a pearl from the deep,clean oceans of heart! Amazing work,very well done!
posted by
shamasehar
on July 1, 2010 at 2:46 AM
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Beautifull and heartfelt Tzippy xoxoxo
posted by
Sinome
on July 1, 2010 at 1:03 AM
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Tzippy, I am so proud of you. This is a magnificent piece and the words chill and thrill and give so much hope and a reason.
Thank you for the visit.
posted by
shobana
on June 30, 2010 at 11:32 PM
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Re: Sam and abanerjee thanks for your feedback
It is very easy to put an item up for sale! Click on Write and near the top of the page you will see these:
Start a new blog - List an item for sale - View new blog comments - View calling cards
Click on the List an item for sale. Once you are in there just follow it from top to bottom and you will be listed before you know it! Anything else you might need on this let me know!
I can appreciate the tears for I had goosebumps throughout! Be proud, this is a marvelous piece and I am thrilled that I was your inspiration! Just magnificent work! I am looking forward to my read in the morning once I have had time to let it settle in my brain! It is great because it stays with you!
sam
posted by
sam444
on June 30, 2010 at 11:26 PM
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One more thing I forgot Tzippy
This should go down as a classic!
posted by
anib
on June 30, 2010 at 11:14 PM
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Tzippy
The calm waters sparkling with tranquil foams
Lie not so deep within your temple of flesh and bone.
And to bath in the shores of content
Look not so deep within your core of intent.
For in the silence of the golden heart
Very well done KuDoS
posted by
anib
on June 30, 2010 at 11:11 PM
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Amazing! This is so rich and so laden with meaning! I am at a loss for words because there are none right now to do it justice! I am going to read this again in the morning! But the cadence and flow and Biblical references along with the refrain was incredible! You should be very proud of yourself and of this poem! WONDERFUL! I think your experiences were a big help, too! I did manage a few words! May I have a copy of this! Or put it up for sale and I will be first in line for a purchase! sam
posted by
sam444
on June 30, 2010 at 11:11 PM
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