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What a fine poem! It is laden with meaning and realization! Shelly
posted by
sam444
on June 27, 2010 at 4:21 AM
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Fema - those questions asked are so binding. Indeed you need the see the real "you" and be yourself more than anything. thanks so much for your lovely visit my friend.
posted by
shobana
on June 27, 2010 at 1:25 AM
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LNice play on perception and reflection on self love. BC-A, Bill’s RJLst
posted by
BC-A
on June 26, 2010 at 10:55 PM
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Hey, me again. Glad to see you have strong feelings what you write. Agreed the reader sees for onself and thinks about it. That's my point. somewhere around line 6 you switch from her to we, and this works fine
(though I wonder about the other possibility if it were kept in what "she" was doing and experiencing). My problem was with the last 4 lines where you change from we to you (which I suppose is me)...So I took it a little personally. So, hey, I'm just the reader; how did I get into this poem? Now, if it were kept in 3rd person plural (we/ours)I probably wouldn't have had this problem.
ok, so I have some "issues" and I'm a bit sensitive about this area, but that's only because I'm not very good at following stage directions.
However, I'm glad we had this little chat because it's not that often I get to come out of my box and relate to something....
and besides, I don't have a sense of humor either (so don't smile yet...)
JM
posted by
jfm32
on June 26, 2010 at 6:14 PM
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Well fem I guess I never look in the mirror much when one is young one cannot help but admire the freshness of youth now one just needs it to shave or wonder if a haircut is needed. I've not been lucky enough to see a halo. Indeed it is snow cone weather really hot here this last day or two, it was the best thing I had heard of for a long time, Incidently this was a really good poem and I hope that your back feels better. Hope it all goes well MB
posted by
C_C_T
on June 26, 2010 at 12:53 PM
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Love the mirror imagry, but got a little turned off at the end when you changed from 2nd person to 3rd (her to You--meaning me). I love the poem in its self revealtion, but don't understand why you then turn the image around and tell me how I should be thinking about it. Were you writing a poem only to preach to me?
Consider the notion that the purpose of a poem might be to reveal something unspoken while hiding the poet who's writing it. If the words don't speak for themselves, then what's the reason for a poem? Did you ever try explaining a joke?
Look it. I know this problem well. Wheter it's poetry or stand up, it all comes down to knowing when you should stop speaking to yourself, and know when the painting is finished--hey, nothing is perfect.
Didnt mean to be too critical here, and these are just my thoughts. But you got a really good poem here. Let me know if this helps.
John
posted by
jfm32
on June 26, 2010 at 12:46 PM
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femefeme, this is a good question and always the issue we fail to grasp. Do we project the person that we are, or some fantasy? Or worse?
posted by
dsm_tchr
on June 26, 2010 at 9:18 AM
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