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I love how you share your point of views.
I am just 20, not married yet and I find it interesting to know how life might be when I gets older. Your post is useful to me as it made me think about how the unexpected things will surely come to test us.And that life is not always about sunshine and rainbows. I would love to know if you have any advice on how to cope with them, based on your experience. Thanks. I enjoy your writing.
posted by
clarerichard
on April 29, 2010 at 3:49 PM
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PatB
That was a great piece of writing luv and once I was married to the female that would have suited your ex to a 'T" Mtrs. Hyde
posted by
WileyJohn
on April 28, 2010 at 8:58 PM
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another few words to clarify--
When I speak of fear, I don't mean the physical/emotional kind abused spouses have to cope with, but the fear of being unable to make a living, or losing health and dental coverage... of ending up under a bridge with a shopping cart for a best friend.... Of never finding companionship... of failing as a single parent... of becoming the absent/abandoning parent...
Some fears you have to just get over, or accept... but when the intolerable situation still seems more tolerable than those dreaded scenarios--it is easy to make excuses and postponements, until it feels that your life has simply passed by. You wake up one day, like a long-term coma victim who suddenly comes back to awareness... and is stunned by what the mirror shows.
Kabu and Wilie are proof that life has never passed by.
posted by
Ciel
on April 28, 2010 at 12:07 PM
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Like Kabu said...
Pride. I will add to that, and fear.
Or the complicated demands and desires of parenthood.
I just met another woman today who lives in the same house with her former husband... still married on paper, but not in fact for many, many years. Which seems an impossible arrangement to explain to people who did not learn, as some of us do before we ever commit to a marriage, to tolerate the intolerable.
And in her case as in mine, the pivotal point has been the children.
It is more widespread, I suspect, than most of us know.
posted by
Ciel
on April 28, 2010 at 11:58 AM
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Like Kabu said...
Pride. I will add to that, and fear.
Or the complicated demands and desires of parenthood.
I just met another woman today who lives in the same house with her former husband... still married on paper, but not in fact for many, many years. Which seems an impossible arrangement to explain to people who did not learn, as some of us do before we ever commit to a marriage, to tolerate the intolerable.
And in her case as in mine, the pivotal point has been the children.
It is more widespread, I suspect, than most of us know.
posted by
Ciel
on April 28, 2010 at 11:57 AM
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I was very naive when I married. I believed in "happy ever after". It was happy for a long, long time, but nothing lasts forever. Always is a lie (at least on this earth and for a majority of the people).
posted by
TAPS.
on April 28, 2010 at 11:25 AM
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Or you do what I did and then let pride keep me there for years.....
you jump from the frying pan straight into the fire.
But then you find Wiley................................sigh.
posted by
Kabu
on April 28, 2010 at 10:16 AM
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Pat
This, as does your previous post, somehow gives voice to the very
essence of disappointment...
posted by
Nautikos
on April 28, 2010 at 9:40 AM
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OMG !!! Pat, I love how you write..LOVE !
I can soooooooooooooooo relate.
posted by
hazel_st_cricket
on April 28, 2010 at 9:32 AM
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