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Thanks for you comment!
You're absolutely right about these abusers that want to put on a nice public face! I'm reading the works of Patricia Evans right now, and she has quite a bit to say about such people. I don't agree with all of her assertions, but the ones I do agree with are the ones in which we have to conform to what the abuser expects us to be like, and often that means that we are expected to put on a great public face and ignore whatever the abuser does privately. I'm experiencing something like this in my own family right now, and when I am more detached, I will write about these experiences. Right now, I'm more emotional about things going on currently than I am about what went on with my former partner. But things aren't as bad as they were, and that's a good thing.
posted by
kidnykid
on February 13, 2003 at 10:53 AM
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Agree with you...
and may even post a blog on this myself sometime. The ones to be careful of are the ones who put on a great public face of being involved and interested and loving towards his (or others') children, but in private is aloof, disinterested, and withdrawn. This person will fool the world, and when those whom he is neglecting an abusing seek help, people will not believe them. My ex was like this, and when I divorced him, no one would believe that he could do the things that I "accused" him of. But the problem was that he wanted us to be nice ornaments to his public face, but we were to leave him alone and not interfere with his private life. So I will be following your research and postings with interest, and, when I am a little less emotional about it, I may even write about my own experience with a "hidden" abuser.
posted by
editormum
on February 13, 2003 at 9:32 AM
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