Go to The Impossibility Of Knowing
- Add a comment
- Go to If you can greet truth and adversity the same, like Kipling said
Oh my, how sad yet your attitude is one of strength and as positive
as it could possibly be, given the situation. Wishing you and family the best, Azur, whatever the outcome.
posted by
Katray2
on April 15, 2010 at 7:42 AM
| link to this | reply
This sounds familiar to my life when I lived with my parents. They did not
support creativity, except as a hobby. My brother was/is a talented artist, but became a geologist instead, because dad told him you can't make a living as an artist. They discouraged me from my pursuits when I studied English and double majored in Communications, but I was more stubborn and determined to do what they told me to do. Despite lack of support (not to mention being put down at every turn), I stuck with what I wanted to do.
Truly, you have to stand alone sometimes emotionally *though you're not alone because your Blogit friends will give you support and encouragement* and you have to find the place of relief, peace, hope, joy and faith in this journey to remain positive and achieve a level of success. It's harder for you because you have children and they must always come first. You've taken on many jobs to support your family and your husband needs to do the same. It takes sacrifice, but most of all it takes mutual support, even in the darkest of days and circumstances. It seems to be lacking for you right now, and my wish is that he will apologize and admit that he has lost his direction/hope and as a result has been projecting his sadness and grief onto you. May you both find renewed strength and direction in your dreams.
posted by
Ariala
on April 13, 2010 at 12:10 PM
| link to this | reply
I'm at a loss for what to say.
So I'll just wish each, both and all of you get through this with the best outcome possible.
posted by
majroj
on April 13, 2010 at 11:53 AM
| link to this | reply
Very difficult for you - for you all ~ It's all very frightening when economic strain is on us. It's like reflex takes action...either you grasp or you grapple - or you hang on or all of those. I feel in my heart for you and for your situation dear Azur. I certainly would not suggest anything to you however - for we each have our own id, our own 'soul' - our own choices. I pray for you all. I know hard times are on many and sometimes we have to go different routes in order to pull it all around. I pray for y'alls success in whatever - however. Elyse
posted by
elysianfields
on April 13, 2010 at 7:50 AM
| link to this | reply
I can only think of negatives in response to this dialog...
You ARE successful, in every way but the big payday. His sniping reminds me of my ex who told me I'd never get a job in that field (I was going for an English degree), and I was wasting my time. Subtle (not so subtle) undermining and psychological digs are hard to ignore, practically impossible to forget. Maybe his negative crap will spur you to prove him wrong. But I'd get away from him first. Then when the payday comes, no thanks to him, you won't have to share it with him. Men!
posted by
Pat_B
on April 13, 2010 at 6:31 AM
| link to this | reply
I like the opening line of your post, and in your place, I guess that is
what I would keep with me in my upper storey as I moved along. Yes, Like sam stated, determine what level of 'rough' you wanna live with - not easy, but worth working on and things will hopefully just sort out.
posted by
Straightforward
on April 12, 2010 at 6:37 PM
| link to this | reply
Hi Azur,
Well said. Hang in there.
posted by
Amanda__
on April 12, 2010 at 4:56 PM
| link to this | reply
I think he was deflecting because he knows he has not pulled his weight! As I have learned one can only go so far before it begins to become destructive! I remember when he got the prize to work on his novel and it came because you promoted him! Then the other gal who got in ahead of you because you promoted her! Now you have a great project going with the ghost writing and no one is supporting your efforts in your circle! So, now you have had the financial worry and the children to raise! So, where is you supposrt, certainly not in the form of lack of confidence!
Year ago I had a pal who did a lot of typesetting and there was scads of money available; but when she lost the account the money dwindled and the relationship feel apart! I am telling you this because it is very close, when the other half is bringing in the money and the spouse/significant other is on easy street for a long period of time they get a bit lackadaisical. It is easier for you to do the work than for him to make his contribution! It seems if one opts out it is rough and if they stay it is rough! You will know what to do when you determine the level of 'rough' you want to endure! This is a voice of experience, too! Leaving is always the lesser 'rough' for me!
I know you want to wait until the ghostwriting is completed to get paid, but darn, a stipend once a month would not hurt a thing! You deserve to be paid for your time!!!!
I wish you the very best for you are one of the most marvelous persons I have had the privilege of knowing in my entire life! sam
posted by
sam444
on April 12, 2010 at 12:50 PM
| link to this | reply
Don'tgive up on your dreams and on what you need to do...ever.....
and don't give up on me either....Marjory is just taking a rest what with Easter and being away...I had tolet her sleep...but I love what you did..
posted by
Kabu
on April 12, 2010 at 12:50 PM
| link to this | reply
He actually came out and said he didn't think you'd be successful? Wow.............
This is when passive language can actually be a good thing. "The mortgage did not get paid" sounds so much better than "You didn't pay the mortgage".
Kudos to you for not giving up.
posted by
myrrhage_
on April 12, 2010 at 12:00 PM
| link to this | reply