Go to The Impossibility Of Knowing
- Add a comment
- Go to Cast In Bad Light
We KNOW you Azur, as much as you reveal and know that what you do
is done best your way, when you do it.
I do not think less of your partner for his sorrows, foryour suffering, the children's too. I just feel for us all.
You know what works in your home and what you must do or go mad. The same is true here in my house and I have begun to do it, THANK god.
I just want people around you to help a bit.....but, I know that friends do what they can. And, it is easier to whisper the truth into distant ears than to voice it at home and within family circles.
I do know that voicing it, however, is the beginning of the turn around.
posted by
benzinha
on February 23, 2010 at 8:57 AM
| link to this | reply
hello again :)
just dropped in to see what you are up to, I guess I will find out soon :)
posted by
Tzippy
on February 22, 2010 at 2:27 PM
| link to this | reply
I'm sure you will find strength
when you most need it. Don't give up...
posted by
malcolm
on February 22, 2010 at 1:03 PM
| link to this | reply
I don't know, I may feel your tough love, but more a growing 'unconditional love' - Elyse
(all from the depth of your understanding and wanting to...)
posted by
elysianfields
on February 22, 2010 at 8:30 AM
| link to this | reply
This was pretty insightful for me and I got some lessons there.
posted by
Straightforward
on February 22, 2010 at 5:14 AM
| link to this | reply
keep trying
Please keep trying, you are doing all of the right things. Men are often so resistant to give in to mental issues. He really could value from some help. Even men can't fix their own mental problems, it takes professional help and sometimes a lot of trial until the right medication and dosage is found. From one who knows....don't let him continue without help.
posted by
spsos
on February 21, 2010 at 2:24 PM
| link to this | reply
I think you're right, even though tough love is the hardest thing to achieve. Much easier just to paper over those cracks, but then they blow apart again at some other time, whereas if you can start to heal from the bottom up, it's the genuine article. That's what tough love ( and counselling) offers.
posted by
Rockingrector_retd
on February 21, 2010 at 10:54 AM
| link to this | reply
We men have thse qiurks, you know.
We can't read minds (sometimes WON'T seems more like it) and sometimes we need folks to let us know the past is the past, it's understandable to make mistakes, but we are really needed to "man-up" a little by our loved ones....and by stepping up, I mean partly being brave enough to tell the truth and to get help and take a little criticism, knowing the love is there to catch one another.
It's worked for me and my far better half.
The way you feel better is to "do" better. The sooner the better.
posted by
majroj
on February 21, 2010 at 6:14 AM
| link to this | reply
Try to be supportive and give him time. Things will get better.
posted by
Amanda__
on February 20, 2010 at 2:17 PM
| link to this | reply
It is really difficult to try to determine and to measure the positive and the negative attributes, actions and emotions of someone else and come to a proper conclusion. Often, we can't even do it correctly for our own selves. You do the best you can with what you have at the moment.
posted by
TAPS.
on February 20, 2010 at 1:06 PM
| link to this | reply
I think you did the right thing! I took care of my SIL in law for two years after her husband died of complications (cancer) from agent orange! She stayed in bed and I accommodated her! I needed to do the 'tough love' and get her moving! She wasted away and now we are not even on speaking terms! I think the greater risk is losing them forever if we are not pro active! I didn't take it as being cast in a bad light! If we don't address what we see, especially in depression, we are doing them a disservice to them! I felt the love you had for your partner; it is evident because you are a very caring person! Hang in there my friend, it will get better! One person can do so much and then the rest who are capable must pitch in for the household to run smoothly on all fronts! Just my humble thoughts! sam
posted by
sam444
on February 20, 2010 at 6:10 AM
| link to this | reply
Once again your candor hit me right between the eyes
It is very easy to be harsh on people closest to us that we love. We all do it, and we all feel horrible after we do it. Just the fact that you took a second look means things already began to change. I am looking forward to hearing more of your contemplations.
posted by
Tzippy
on February 19, 2010 at 9:30 PM
| link to this | reply
It has been a tough time for all of you and add the pressure of monney
and it is pretty awful. I feel so much for you I would hug you. You are right, what he did for his mother....I know my sons would never do for me..remind him that no money could ever replace the comfort his love gave her.That was real.
posted by
Kabu
on February 19, 2010 at 8:33 PM
| link to this | reply
Thank you Azur for stopping by my blog via Elyse, the angel. It's a wonderful feeling isn't it to hold a baby in your hands. My nephew of Irish and Indian parentage is such a darling. He kisses me on the cheek and expects me to carry him all the time and I really doubt that he is all that innocent..lol. He wants attention all the time. He just turned 1 but acts at least 3. I hope everything get sorted out for you.Love, stanis.
posted by
shobana
on February 19, 2010 at 6:20 PM
| link to this | reply
Thanks for visiting my blog...
posted by
Celeste632
on February 19, 2010 at 5:46 PM
| link to this | reply
It sounds like a tough situation all around.
posted by
Pat_B
on February 19, 2010 at 1:39 PM
| link to this | reply
posted by
Amanda__
on February 19, 2010 at 1:02 PM
| link to this | reply