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I think that you were meant to keep writing here. I like reading you.
Writing helps the insides heal by letting some of the emotions out that would pop us if they didn't escape.
You were the child and children can help mothers, but cannot save them, you know? You did all that a child could do and she did all that she could do to ease your worries and make life as normal as possible.
Everyone was suffering independently and it sounds like your dad was going through his own private rough road and trying to hide it from everyone, too.
You and your dad need to talk more, probably. It is really difficult because it is so much easier to NOT do that, to do anything but talk about real life.
Your mom is at peace and and you know that she would want you and your dad to be there too, at peace in your daily lives. Dunno where peace lies for you, but it's out there and available, but mostly it comes from getting busy because then there is less time to fret and fuss and worry.
Your dad needs work and you need to write blogs. I can't waitt to read them all.
posted by
benzinha
on October 27, 2009 at 8:54 PM
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Bless You
I understand the guilt. I felt the same way when my sister died. I questioned whether I had done enough to keep her safe and make sure she was in a good situation. It is something you just have to work through and process. Writing helps the processing. I think it is admirable that you are using your mother's blog to complete her life story. Blessings to you and your family.
posted by
dancin_grandma
on October 19, 2009 at 3:58 AM
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