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Long distances...
create the mistrust, at least for me. When I was on the opposite coast from Spenser, I was sure that he was entertaining himself before I got there, and it boiled my blood even as I was sowing (what I thought were) the last of my wild oats. I tend to mistrust specific women in his life instead of just thinking of him as weak and easy to lead astray. While my evidence and reasoning for being suspicious of them is weak in one case and overwhelming in the other, I think it really boils down to evolutionary psychology. I must protect what's mine because if he goes away then I have no food to feed my babies, no wood to heat my cave and no one to invent the wheel. It's bullshit but I've sort of accepted it as part of who I am and deal with it when it comes up. I sense a post coming on...
posted by
Little_Girl_Blue
on October 23, 2009 at 1:48 PM
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Pat_B
Thanks on both counts.
posted by
Talion_
on October 15, 2009 at 7:56 PM
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Kabu
After so long, defending yourself becomes irrevelant. You can lead a horse to water and all that. Either someone will eventually trust you or they won't. There's no point in fretting over something you can't control.
posted by
Talion_
on October 15, 2009 at 7:44 PM
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Ariala
Trust takes time. In this case maybe longer than it should've, but still worth the wait.
posted by
Talion_
on October 15, 2009 at 7:41 PM
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Beautifully written, Talion.
I've been meaning to come and pay your blog a visit, as you were so kind as to visit mine during my moments of frustration. It's refreshing to read a story about marriage that somehow balances candidness with wisdom. Lovely!
posted by
myrrhage_
on October 15, 2009 at 1:19 PM
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This suspicion and mistrust, as you said, was the result of
education and experience. A bit of higher education from a better teacher has changed the learner's outlook. I really love to read your blogs. My best to Queen V. She's a precious gem.
posted by
Pat_B
on October 15, 2009 at 4:55 AM
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terrific post. Congratulations and thank you for such honesty.
I was the receiver of this distrust too in my last marriage I was even followed by a private D. Poor chap must have been so bored. eventually I just stop caring. I just stepped away from taking the time to defend myself.
posted by
Kabu
on October 14, 2009 at 8:46 PM
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Great post...I can relate to both of you and what you go through and have
gone through. In the end, trust is just that - trust...but it has to be earned and it sounds like you've earned it!
posted by
Ariala
on October 14, 2009 at 3:58 PM
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