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I'm wondering how he parses out his billable hours in this situation.
If you're paying by the minute for his time, and he's not exactly attending to (your) business, ... if he's not charging you for his time while making a house call, perhaps he feels justified in bringing her along.
posted by
Pat_B
on June 16, 2009 at 6:04 AM
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poor baby, sounds like everyone's advice is right on.
Eeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Yup, time to find a new attorney who comes *without* his main squeeze to meetings, to squeeze her in your presence. Eeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu............
posted by
benzinha
on June 14, 2009 at 5:46 PM
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Vogue
Firstly, to address the “business” meeting you asked of him I would be brutally honest. I would simply tell him that you felt he handled himself in a highly unprofessional manner, that you had indicated that you wanted to discuss your private business affairs, and that you did not appreciate Mrs. being there as well as well as the constant interruptions – both her calls and their public displays of affection. As far as the friendship goes, I’d wait until he takes the initiative to suggest a get-together and then I would simply say to him that you’ve dropped hints any numbe3r of hints before but that you’re very uncomfortable with feeling the 3rd wheel when they are overly affectionate with one another so you’re not sure if you should accept his invitation. Then just wait to see what he says. But from a professional prospective – be brutal – that was pretty rude.
posted by
Troosha
on June 14, 2009 at 2:49 PM
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I am sure it is a phase they are going through! I don't think I would want my attorney to be my friend and represent me! I would do business at his office in the future! It would disgust me, too! Cyber hug! sam
posted by
sam444
on June 14, 2009 at 2:04 PM
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In bringing his wife to a business appointment
he is not paying any courtesy or respect to your needs as a client. I would discuss business only in his office. I would also consider not having a friend as an attorney. If something goes wrong, and this is very likely if he can't concentrate on his work, then it will be at the expense of the friendship and the professional relationship. There are plenty of attorneys. Sure I might ask a close friend for a second opinion or a general view but not more.
If they need together away from their kids, they should sort that out themselves.
I don't think they are being delicate with you, so I think you should choose whether this will be a professional relationship or a friendship.
posted by
Azur
on June 14, 2009 at 1:48 PM
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I would be embarrassed too, maybe he started using some male enhancement drugs and they want to get in on that four hour stint. I am sorry I don't know what to tell them, maybe talk privately to him, and explain how you love them both but you need his undivided attention when he comes for business.
posted by
Lanetay
on June 14, 2009 at 10:05 AM
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It's sad, but you would need to find someone more professional....his mind doesn't seem to be on your work, and it's not enough to have a trustworthy friend when legal matters have to be taken care of.
posted by
Nita09
on June 14, 2009 at 9:45 AM
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Re: elinjo
Galicia in Spain!
posted by
vogue
on June 14, 2009 at 8:45 AM
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I also agree with Naut: it your life and your business, third party have nothing to do there. Ariala has also a good point: take a real appointment to see the guy in his office and make it clear that it is a business call, not a social one. As for the necking and all, the French have a very good term for it: le démon du midi! (applicable to older men who loose control!).
posted by
auslander
on June 14, 2009 at 8:07 AM
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In complete agreement with the previous comments: I think you should speak your mind and if your present attorney does not see your point of view, then surely there must be many others who will. Good friends listen and respect their friends' opinions.
Galicia Spain or Galicia western Ukraine?
posted by
elinjo
on June 14, 2009 at 7:29 AM
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I'm in 100% agreement with Naut on this one, Vogue. Let the guy know where you stand and if he balks, ask him for a recommendation for an attorney who knows international law and tax planning (it sounds like that's what you need if considering purchasing real estate abroad). My husband is in finance and tax planning and it would be INCOMPREHENSIBLE to him to bring me along on a business call; let alone suck face and allow me free reign with the cell phone. As Naut observed, this is unprofessional at best and unbelievably rude and illegal at worst. Financial advisors/attorneys must abide by confidentiality agreements and this guy has breached those in the most flamboyant way. You are not being "prudish" here, dear Vogue. I'd have made the wife wait at Starbucks down the street if I were you!!! Mal
posted by
gapcohen
on June 14, 2009 at 6:40 AM
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Vogue
Maybe this man is a good attorney, but he definitely seems to lack a sense of professionalism. To begin with, it was completely inappropriate to bring his wife to a meeting in which your personal affairs were to be discussed! And then to get into a necking session in your presence just makes it worse.
His wife also needs lessons in proper behaviour, including the need to turn off her damn cell phone when she goes visiting...
All of this is not a question of 'ettiquette', but one of the normal consideration one extends to others, not just one's friends, but of course especially to one's friends...
If this were my friend and my attorney, and if I wanted to keep him as that, I would arrange a lunch and would friendly but firmly explain my position to him. If he's a 'keeper', he'll understand and apologize. If he doesn't, good riddance, at least to the attorney part...
posted by
Nautikos
on June 14, 2009 at 6:08 AM
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Wow, that is definitely a dilemma! Seems to me you could give him one
more chance and tell him you need to really talk one on one in a business setting. Maybe you can go to his office, knowing she won't be there. Make an appointment, take the drive and just be in a professional setting where none of this stuff happens. I can't believe people act like that!
posted by
Ariala
on June 14, 2009 at 6:03 AM
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