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lustorlove ..
Not really knowing you or your daughter leaves me in a ackward position to give advice. I do trust that she didn't get those bad habits from you and don't blame yourself. Since your daughter of 23 years claims to be her own person then I would suggest you tell her to find a job and start contributing to the household or prepare for the shock of making a life for herself on her own somewhere else. I know those are harsh words for you to say but in my humble opinion .. you would be teaching her a lesson that has to be learned .. sooner or later she will have to make life work on her own. Be Strong with your motherly love! 
posted by
BrightIrish
on April 19, 2009 at 5:46 PM
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Re: lustorlove..
wow 11 children I would of been pulling out my hair, now my baby is almost 23 and I cant see anything about her as being anything like me. She has a hot temper and a strong mouth and thinks nothing of lying and stealing. She didnt learn that from me and should of known better, maybe I am a goodie two shoes and she is rebelling against me, she claims she is her own person and hasnt picked up those qualities from her friends, which I blame.
posted by
Lanetay
on April 19, 2009 at 4:07 PM
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OTA
Thank you for reading and your very nice comment. Glad to know you have found this post helpful. As I see you often say .. Peace! 
posted by
BrightIrish
on April 19, 2009 at 2:04 PM
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Sam ..
Yes .. You are so very right. Acccepting would make our lives more peaceful as well as theirs. Thank You!
posted by
BrightIrish
on April 19, 2009 at 2:01 PM
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Joe ..
You'll laugh when I tell you how I found the proper word. I have a old friend who is a phycologist and been through some bad times in the last few years. I always try to write uplifting emails to them but at times the reply is so negitive that it stuns me and lately upsets me because I've known this person for 46 years and know we are devoted friends. So, one day I picked up the phone and made up the name of a other person and mentioned all the things about this person that were affecting me. My friend told me the proper name ( projection) and proceeded to tell me that I did not deserve that kind of treatment and I should seriously consider not having the other ( made up) person as a friend.
Funny how we seem to overlook our own faults only to find the fault in others.
Thanks ..
posted by
BrightIrish
on April 19, 2009 at 1:51 PM
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This is a very helpful piece of writing.
posted by
Blue_feathers
on April 19, 2009 at 1:42 PM
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lustorlove..
This is really a tough question for me to answer and I can only tell you what I believe to be true from personal experience. After raising 11 children 7 being ones I gave birth and 4 being mine since a young age .. I've found that although they may inherit some of our traits during their younger years but tend by the age of 25-30 to form new ideas of their own and become uniquely their own person with their own thoughts and actions which are open for change as they get older and experience more of life challenges.
I feel your question shows doubt in yourself and in my opinion you should know you've done your best as a single mother and like all of us you have made mistakes in judgement toward our children and judged ourselves harshly. All we can do after a certain age is listen, comfort and above all give them the security of our love. My baby is now 34 and believe me there is and has been a wonderful change in her over the years and many surprises from the others that tell me I must have done something right. I honestly believe that unless you are a treacherous person who inflicts insanity on your children then they will eventually come into their own right as responsible adults. Hope I have helped a little, Be Patient while your pulling your hair out! 
posted by
BrightIrish
on April 19, 2009 at 1:32 PM
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If we take ownership of our thoughts, motivations, desires and feelings, we will be less likely to project our issues onto others. This is so important for me! Just need more to embrace it! sam
posted by
sam444
on April 19, 2009 at 1:26 PM
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Soul Builder ..
I agree but first one must own their issues before enlightenment or a cure can be found.
posted by
BrightIrish
on April 19, 2009 at 12:55 PM
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Welllllllllllllll. . , I learned something today.
I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. ., however I didn't know its technical name was calling "projecting". Very, very interesting.
posted by
Joe_Love
on April 19, 2009 at 12:15 PM
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I was going to right about traits today, I was wondeing since my daughter was only raised by me and hadnt seen her dad since she was 7, she now being almost 23, are all her bad traits all me?
posted by
Lanetay
on April 19, 2009 at 10:24 AM
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Then, there is enlightenment which destroys the the accretions of darkness! Like an anti-virus program!
posted by
Soul_Builder101
on April 19, 2009 at 12:24 AM
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PoetRaye
Sorry for the typo on your name ..
posted by
BrightIrish
on April 18, 2009 at 6:10 PM
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PoetRays
You are welcome and thank you very much for the nice comment!
posted by
BrightIrish
on April 18, 2009 at 6:08 PM
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Excellent post!
And the quotes are perfect - Thank you for sharing.
posted by
Katray2
on April 18, 2009 at 2:34 PM
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