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TAPS
its just soon I could be totally alone as my kids move on
posted by
Lanetay
on April 9, 2009 at 1:34 PM
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It seems we all have to learn those things for ourselves by making mistakes. You know what they say about hindsight.
posted by
TAPS.
on April 9, 2009 at 12:55 PM
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Re: So sorry to hear that, Lustor
my mind and body are ready but where is the mr right
posted by
Lanetay
on April 9, 2009 at 10:50 AM
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So sorry to hear that, Lustor
Never to late to start again though....
posted by
Troosha
on April 9, 2009 at 10:19 AM
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Troosha
I cant blame my daughter for all my mistakes, but because of her I did nothing really to meet men, except places like one again or other single groups but nothing ever came of those, so I just played around and never got serious and when I got serious he passed away
posted by
Lanetay
on April 9, 2009 at 10:08 AM
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Lustor
I was single for about 15 years (but yes, I dated). I was cautious about introducing anyone to my daughter but did so 3 times (each of those relationships lasted a couple of years but then failed). I never lived with anyone during this time period but once my daughter got comfortable with the man, he would sometimes stay over. I suppose there are two schools of thought – certainly one being that we might be painting a picture of promiscuity. But you’re right – we should never sacrifice our own happiness and there are ways of doing that while still “leading by example”.
posted by
Troosha
on April 9, 2009 at 7:51 AM
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metalrat
now she knows that now she has a bf, but now I need to find that person for me, then we can work on mom having grown up needs
posted by
Lanetay
on April 8, 2009 at 9:38 PM
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Your psychologist had a good point...
...and your daughter has to get used to the idea. You're more a grown woman than she is, and you still have grown-woman needs.
posted by
metalrat
on April 8, 2009 at 9:13 PM
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Re:
ok if a child doesnt see mom with a man and spends most her time with the child you are putting your life on hold for that child, but when that child gets older and knows what it feels like to have someone in their life that changes the way they feel, but by that time its harder and harder for mom to find someone. What I am saying love your kids but take time for what you need, they will get use to you not just being with them
posted by
Lanetay
on April 8, 2009 at 8:38 PM
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My thinking is that our children know that their parents have sex, they just don't want to hear about it. If they are smart they realize that it is human at any adult age to want love.
posted by
callista22001
on April 8, 2009 at 7:16 PM
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callista22001
I did it so she wouldnt think bad of me she didnt know that at the time, she was a child, and now she doesnt think there is anything wrong with it, kids dont want to think their parents have sex
posted by
Lanetay
on April 8, 2009 at 5:29 PM
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there is kind of a double standard going on here, right? You were careful not binging men into the house when you were not married to them because of your daughter, that was a good moral decision, but now your daughter is bringing in her boyfriend to live with in front of you. Is it she doesn't respect you or is it she doesn't respect herself?
posted by
callista22001
on April 8, 2009 at 4:45 PM
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FormerStudentIntern
Thank you
posted by
Lanetay
on April 8, 2009 at 12:06 PM
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Very sound advice you have there.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on April 8, 2009 at 11:58 AM
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Re: Re: TIMMYTALES
well maybe if Mr Right comes along things will change
posted by
Lanetay
on April 8, 2009 at 11:15 AM
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hazel_st_cricket
it was suppose to be you scratch my back and I will scratch yours but I am doing all the scratching
posted by
Lanetay
on April 8, 2009 at 11:14 AM
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Hi, Lustorlove. I have always put my kids first. Relationships seem to come
and go, but children love you forever. I do understand what you are saying, though. Maybe, it's time she moved out, so Mom can have her own life. I know she isn't working yet, though ( I don't think). Hang in there, friend. xoxoxo
posted by
hazel_st_cricket
on April 8, 2009 at 10:33 AM
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Re: TIMMYTALES
You need to tell her that she has her life now and you need one too!! Let her know that it should not change anything between you two
posted by
TIMMYTALES
on April 8, 2009 at 9:56 AM
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TIMMYTALES
I guess I thought she didnt need to know that I was with a man and now she doesnt want me to be
posted by
Lanetay
on April 8, 2009 at 9:53 AM
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LUSTORLOVE
That is a tough one. The only way that I would have brought a woman into the house is if I was serious about her. I always found that talking with the kids was the easiest. That way they did not feel betrayed in any way.
posted by
TIMMYTALES
on April 8, 2009 at 9:19 AM
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