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Re: What Sam says is, I agree, the most important thing in any style
Thank you, Ciel..
That is very true. I believe that while children are trying their hardest to grasp the values that the parents are teaching them, the parents are really learning hard to find the best way to send their messages across to the children.
Most of the times, what matters the most is what works for both sides in terms of communicating and understanding each others' ideas. And all of these are still a long journey of learning for me.. but I know that as long as I am open enough to tell them that 'these are just my crazy ways.. not your fault' to my children, I can hope that they will eventually understand that their mother is just a human being.. 
posted by
orcalion
on March 22, 2009 at 6:18 PM
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What Sam says is, I agree, the most important thing in any style
of raising kids: letting them know they are really loved. I had some tough times being a good mom, knowing that what came naturally to me--from a childhood of too much discipline and little perception of love or respect--was wrong. But I didn't know what was right, really. And sometimes I was just crazy with confusion. But I always told them that it was my craziness, not their fault.
I am gratified that all 3 still welcome me in their lives, now they are grown and creating lives and families of their own.
posted by
Ciel
on March 22, 2009 at 12:55 PM
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Thank you, Sam..
I only think that it would be a good thing if I could learn different styles so I can adopt the ones that suit my children the best.. I am looking forward to the time where I can have more confidence in setting my own 'world' with my husband and children.
My mother and my mother in-law had so much more confidence in raising their children, compared to myself. I suspect it is the time (and environment during the family upbringing process) that makes the difference..
posted by
orcalion
on March 3, 2009 at 6:13 AM
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I like how you are open to the suggestions of others! I was steadfast in my ways and not as receptive! The one thing I feel is most important is to nurture them with love and I can see that you do that!
sam
posted by
sam444
on March 3, 2009 at 1:09 AM
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