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Ok. Did a re-read, and found the theme of story in 1st three lines, and the story of the poem is not in the present, but within the past. Seemingly, the story, (who's the narrator?)and why is this story told (seemingly) from the male character's perspective who never has a voice, while the story seems to be related through an unseen narrator?
Most of the poem is given to how the male character is relating to the 1st three lines of the poem. and I'm wondering why he's a robot and doesn't question the premise? But whom am I to question the poet's intent?
Now, I got a sense what's happening--Victorian Ideals in the Old West--so they accepted the architechture and couldn't give a hoot about the morality. This is why this piece is troubling.
From the 1st three lines, did we know we are dealing with a manic deressive? And she is not going to change.Is that why the rest of the poem deals with the cowboy trying to come to terms with this fact, and trying to undergo his own change and metamorphosis?
If anything like this would splat upon the stage, no one would have seen anything like since Tennessee Williams. There's a whole story here of inter-relationships. But what does a poet care. She's still carrying her notes close to her vest.
posted by
jfm32
on July 26, 2008 at 4:24 PM
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I think I got the idea, but feel i got a little lost in the story. What changed the weave of the story? Evidently she goes from flower to a weed, and I missed it. What happened? It just can't be perception. So why the change? Now I'm not claiming I'm a dummy, but evidently I missed the whole turn of the idea. So where is it?
posted by
jfm32
on July 26, 2008 at 2:58 PM
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Sincere love & honesty can clear any barriers..god poem! - Ash
posted by
ash_pradhan
on July 25, 2008 at 12:37 PM
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Sinome you are such a talent to us..I would love to read some of your older posts from before I was here someday..I tip my hat to you..This is wonderful work!
posted by
Wigopa_
on July 25, 2008 at 10:38 AM
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Sinome
You have such a talent for writing a vivid and heartfelt vignette. You take your reader with you through every emotion and each gentle movement. It's quite a gift you have!
posted by
Troosha
on July 25, 2008 at 9:51 AM
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I adore the imagery in this poem. This line was so striking for me:
The melancholy willow and the proud oak; wow! such insight! Love to you! sam
posted by
sam444
on July 25, 2008 at 8:24 AM
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Time would keep the continuity of life intact........so its not the end afterall. very nicely done.
posted by
shamasehar
on July 25, 2008 at 6:28 AM
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Beautiful sinome, and heartbreaking... I hope things are going your way..
Have a good weekend
posted by
VictoriaP
on July 25, 2008 at 6:08 AM
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In contrast to your line “He could not understand” your words sensitize our hearts to the end of the line love. lol, BCA, “Top of the Stairs”
posted by
BC-A
on July 25, 2008 at 5:21 AM
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Excellent...
posted by
teddypoet_TheGoodByeFade
on July 25, 2008 at 2:39 AM
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So touching
you brought a lump to my throat with this - which says it must be good as it got so strong a reaction. Good write!
posted by
lionreign
on July 25, 2008 at 2:21 AM
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Transparent doors
It hits home - a little too well. I was once that woman.
You are an amazing writer - thank you
posted by
Lotus_Flower
on July 25, 2008 at 12:26 AM
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Hello Marta
The pain of the heart so poignantly expressed, and the word imagery ... absolute beauty.
to my ocean-kissed princess. But what happened? Where are your previous entries? Hope you've not deleted them?
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on July 24, 2008 at 10:20 PM
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Touching poem indeed !
posted by
afzal50
on July 24, 2008 at 8:52 PM
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Great Imagery!
You should write a novel.
posted by
Kolekshuns
on July 24, 2008 at 8:28 PM
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Sinome, isn't it true how we tend to try to hide behind transparent doors
all too often, for one reason or another...I felt this man's pain and sadness.
...
posted by
Rumor
on July 24, 2008 at 7:53 PM
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What happened to just Sinome?????
You're not number 2, you are number 1!!!
hahaha, LOVERLY poem btw, as always!!!!
posted by
NiteTide
on July 24, 2008 at 7:12 PM
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very good
posted by
Star5_
on July 24, 2008 at 6:19 PM
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Sinome! I am a genie! I was just thinking about you and decided to go to the front page and there you were! lol This is excellent. I am pleasantly overwhelmed in imagery. The closed eye and the tear was incredulous! I will be back, it is all mine on the first read. Thank you darlin! Shelly
posted by
sam444
on July 24, 2008 at 5:48 PM
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