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hagi
Thank you so much for your interesting comment. Yes if one could say that parents who raise children to copy rote what they do and that they have done all the right things and it happens that would be functional in the sense that the word has no connotations other than physical function. Here in America it is often a different story. I saw your 'about me' page. It was charming. Sounds like a nice life. Thanks for reading me.
posted by
Justi
on July 10, 2008 at 5:07 PM
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Oosthuizen
It is true. I see the effects so clearly all over. Thank you for writing.
posted by
Justi
on July 10, 2008 at 4:59 PM
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I believe
My husband's family is "functional"... at least in the sense that eventually all the children (five of them!) are finding their own ways in this world, being creative, responsible and very different (which is certainly a good sign as this means they weren't "molded in shape" but allowed their own development).
Of course, they argue sometimes... And they are working too hard for their age... and maybe my love wouldn't agree they're close to ideal, but I think they are.
Moreover - when a child, coming from his/her family, grows up and finds his way in life; finds himself and happiness, and, if willing, founds a happy family of his own then the family has been "functional" - in this sense even my family, broken and awkward as it was, has been highly functional.
There's really only one thing to learn - that nobody needs to be perfect and everybody is lovable "as is". This is the ultimate lesson of a family because a family is, basically, a bunch of very different people who just have to live with each other (at least for a while) because they were born into it. In this sense, a family with "flawless" parents and "perfect" children is dysfunctional because nobody there understands the beauty of mistakes & learning from them.
posted by
hagi
on July 10, 2008 at 5:04 AM
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The balloon can only hold so much hot air
So true! We don't always want to acknowledge it, but that is exactly but is going on in todays world!
posted by
Oosthuizen
on July 10, 2008 at 3:57 AM
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NatureSpirit23
Thank you special one. You are a bit prejudiced I believe. I got this one published last month in a Christian News Paper... Actually it is a Recovery Type paper. I am so glad you like it.
posted by
Justi
on July 9, 2008 at 3:57 AM
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This is a powerful post.
I love your way of seeing things. You are so awesome!
posted by
NatureSpirit23
on July 8, 2008 at 11:37 PM
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Maggie Mae
Dear lady you are very blessed to get a good husband and MIL. Your MIL broke the curse over you that had been passed down. You then were able to bring wholesome goodness into your home. I am so happy to hear this much of your story. You are a wonderful woman. God bless you and your family.
posted by
Justi
on July 8, 2008 at 1:33 PM
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Troosha
I agree 100% we do what we can. I learned late in bringing up children that 'In Christ I can do all things'. I did not create a functional home for mine but I as most of us do we did the best we could with what we had just as you say!
posted by
Justi
on July 8, 2008 at 1:30 PM
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Justi.................
This page isn't long enough to tell you how dysfunctional my family is and always has been. I have not one memory of ever being held and cuddled by either of my parents. I truly believe I didn't know love until I met my husband and his mother. What a beautiful loving woman she was and she took me in as one of her own. My mother(s) taught me everything I didn't want to be when we had our children. My husband's mother showed me the way. Thank God for her and I miss her every day of my life. I still have my adopted mother, but I'll never bond with her as I did my mother-in-law. God blessed me with my MIL, she was wonderful. I believe we were good parents and we have good kids who are also good parents. I'm grateful.
I know of what you speak, dear lady. It's very sad. I hope you are well. This was a very good post. Love you, Maggie
posted by
MaggieMae
on July 8, 2008 at 10:40 AM
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Justi
If anyone claims to have a “functional” home or family they’re living behind smoke and mirrors. But we do the best we can with the information, lessons, values, and beliefs we’ve been taught (or we reshape them over time to better align with living a good and faith based life).
posted by
Troosha
on July 8, 2008 at 10:21 AM
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Re: Bhaskar.ing
Thank you so very much. I am as frail and broken as the next but I strive to be better, be just, be fair and to love others as I love myself... Some days when I am down on myself others would not welcome the love I suppose. I appreciate your kind words.
posted by
Justi
on July 7, 2008 at 2:51 PM
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Justi, as I consider your name, the short form of Justice, you are wonderful! Held, high in my esteem.
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on July 7, 2008 at 12:14 PM
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Re: Dark Moon
I believe this is so true. I also think we tend to mold them into what we wanted to be. We want to protect them from what we were not protected from and we want them to be what we wanted to be. These are not their needs, but our own. At least that is my prospective. Thank you so much for your reading. Be blessed,
posted by
Justi
on July 7, 2008 at 11:52 AM
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Kabu
I wish it were not true too. I am afraid it is because there is no perfection. The children in a home expect perfection particularly when they grow up and find there are problems in life. A bit scary. Nice to see you reading, I hope you are resting and simply being happy after so much stress. Love you,
posted by
Justi
on July 7, 2008 at 11:50 AM
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It all starts in the home. It all starts in childhood and the patterns get laid down early. They are not so easy to change. It is a tremendous responsibilty being a parent. There are just a few brief years to mold a child into peace and love and right conduct. Too often it is strife, chaos and self-destruction. We have to pray unceasingly. Moon 
posted by
magic_moon
on July 7, 2008 at 2:35 AM
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I just had to agree with this post even though I wished I didn't need to
I have never yet met a truly functional family home. I beleive my parents came close with ours but then I may be biased even there. A really worth while post this one dearest friend.
posted by
Kabu
on July 6, 2008 at 9:38 PM
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