Comments on Have You Been To a Divorce Party?

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no dear, but i'll be...i know how painful it must be for people concerned. And a party? I'm not sure dear...

posted by __Purple_Mermaid11__ on June 30, 2008 at 6:41 PM | link to this | reply

No. I consider a divorce a violent act.
Unless, of course, it is an attempt to flee actual physical violence -- which is itself a form of divorce.  I certainly did not have a divorce party for either time I was divorced.  Both times, I was cheated on.  Both times I was treated like a criminal for what?  For being faithful and loving?  Because there was no basis for physical abuse, I was subjected to false charges of "emotional abuse".  After I got over the hurt and trauma of being divorced and had a chance to reflect, I realized that I was the one being emotionally abused with the crowning act of emotional abuse being the divorce process itself: being left alone to receive the court summons, having your family torn apart, having the court system -- how shall I say it -- rape your family and having to defend yourself against a battery of insulting and false accusations.

 

I do not think that I am unusual with regard to not recognizing the abuse.  The victims of divorce and abuse, in general, tend to take that abuse as an obligation of love, rather than consider it abuse, and we go out of our way to try to keep that person in our lives, always ready to forgive and forget, even as we and our children are dragged through the mud, the degradation and the shame.  This does not put us in a partying mood.

In my humble opinion, the divorce party could only come from the perpetrator of the divorce and not the victim.  I would have no part of it.

 

Carl Peter

 


posted by cpklapper on June 30, 2008 at 1:26 PM | link to this | reply

I went through a divorce years ago and I never would have thought of having
a party over it. I had to divorce my ex, I stayed married too long as a result of 'not believing' in divorce. I put up with years of abuse because divorce 'wasnt the right thing' . But in some cases I think divorce is the right thing to do. But I still wouldn't want to have a party over it, divorce is too sad for a party. Maybe that's what is wrong, when people look at something serious like that and make a joke of it.

posted by wiserabbit on June 30, 2008 at 11:04 AM | link to this | reply

Time as a healer ıs true, but some short term letting off steam ın a way that doesn't hamr anyone physıcally ıs great. I used kıck boxıng to that effect. The punchbag had the name of the 'enemy' of the day.

posted by vogue on June 29, 2008 at 11:57 PM | link to this | reply