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thank you for such an insightful comment and I shall definitely aim to use less punctuation 
to allow the poetry to flow more freely. Upon re-reading some of my work, I understand what you say as it does appear a little fractured therefore not allowing a more free-flowing form of poetry.
Thanks again, DJ.
posted by
DeeJay101
on June 17, 2008 at 11:06 PM
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I really like this poem, and your style of writing. But the periods after each line drives me nuts. Consider this: what is the diff between prose and poetry? If a poem is a painting in words, and each line a brushstroke--and if you were painting would you put a dot after each brushstroke? I often thought there is a relation between putting thoughts on paper, and having that canvass breathe. Love how you paint me into your picture of words (I gravitate to fragments)), but your punctuation sucks. Don't get angry, just laugh. You might want to visit a book store and thumb thru published poets and see how they write.
Other than that, you have a wonderful gift--and ok, so I read two of your poems and you made my day.
John
posted by
jfm32
on June 17, 2008 at 2:58 PM
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express all in one piece..
posted by
Star5_
on June 17, 2008 at 5:20 AM
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This is truely wonderfull,well done.
posted by
deoneben
on June 17, 2008 at 2:57 AM
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