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Hi Seedlings
Well, forgiving is good for the soul.
But, once you have forgiven, consider whether these people were acting out of a pattern. And if this is their usual behavior.... asked God to bless you and them, and let it be.
Forgiveness does not always mean going back to being best friends.
posted by
Loribeth215
on May 5, 2008 at 7:26 PM
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Seedlings
I’m no expert but I was walled in for quite some time (and my score sheet was pretty darn full). I can’t say that I did it all at once but over the period of a few months I let those walls fall to the ground. I knew if I ever needed them they were right there but if felt so wonderful to let them crumble and face the world with an open and yes, even forgiving, heart. Maybe you should give it a try - one wall at a time....
posted by
Troosha
on May 5, 2008 at 8:09 AM
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Building walls and keeping score
Forgiveness only comes when we change our way of thinking.
posted by
Kolekshuns
on May 4, 2008 at 10:44 PM
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Forgive those that have trespassed against you and then forgive yourself for holding it against them when they let you down. Then and only then will you be able to let it go and see a bright new day ahead! My thoughts are with you. We have all been hurt by others and have also been hurt by many a many of score keepers trying to protect themselves, one step at a time. We can all get through it.
posted by
SomeoneElse
on May 4, 2008 at 9:15 PM
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Think about what the score sheet adds to your life
and if it is nothing but negative stuff, then TRASH the score sheet I say. It will only bring you more grief than you deserve.
it out of your life and flood your life with
and smell the
posted by
Norwood
on May 4, 2008 at 6:55 PM
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Thought inducing post indeed ! Be hopeful I say ...
posted by
afzal50
on May 4, 2008 at 6:20 PM
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"Score sheet" indicates a game is being played ... even if you do
not realize it. You may have felt like everyone in your life was playing a game and you always had to get one up on them or pass "go" before they did in order not to get hurt or left behind. Life's way too short, we both know that, and if it's a game I am never going to get the rules down well enough to play it perfectly. Stop keeping score baby girl - let go and let God, the only one allowed to keep score!
posted by
VictoriaP
on May 4, 2008 at 5:45 PM
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Cm
Always good to know that I have your support
posted by
SEEDLINGS
on May 4, 2008 at 4:35 PM
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Vogue
I have done just as you have in the recent past...gave up the score sheet however my latest heart break was the most severe of my life time and that damn score sheet and wall building went up like a shield...though I know what you say is true and will some day soon again be true for me too. Thank you for your love and support
posted by
SEEDLINGS
on May 4, 2008 at 4:34 PM
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RAME
Thank you so much for your comment and your prayers.
posted by
SEEDLINGS
on May 4, 2008 at 4:32 PM
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Cunni my luv
There's just no two ways about it with you. You tell it like it is and this is what I adore about you. You make me feel like a winner when I believe that I am losing. Luv you darlin
posted by
SEEDLINGS
on May 4, 2008 at 4:31 PM
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Lady Cee
Yes, I have missed you too and I shall go over to your site promptly. Life has kept us busy with our hands but our minds are still very connected.
posted by
SEEDLINGS
on May 4, 2008 at 4:29 PM
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What a touching write. I can certainly relate to your words. Just take one day at a time and always do what you can live with at the end of the day. I will always be here for you my friend,
. From my
to your
.
posted by
cmhnord
on May 4, 2008 at 2:37 PM
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I know a thing or two about the walls and the score keeping. You know what? I just don't care anymore. I take life as it comes, enjoy myself as much as I can and if someone, again, disappoints me, I shrug my shoulder and walk away.
posted by
vogue
on May 4, 2008 at 2:35 PM
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Seedlings,
What a burden this keeping score is!
I'm so sorry that so many people in your life who are/were important to you have let you down so but the only way you are going to be able to come out of your cocoon and lead a full and happy life is to forgive, get rid of the score sheet, learn from your mistakes and use the utmost caution in the future, knock those walls down and open your heart to others.
Everyone has deep hurts they have endured during their lives and some more than others but we can't just build walls around ourselves and keep them there permanently. That's not happiness, it's Limbo.
My prayers are with you.
posted by
RAME
on May 4, 2008 at 2:15 PM
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What alternative is there to trashing the scoresheet?
Life in a protective cocoon is no life at all. If you're not open to experiencing the new sensation of authentic love then you're just going to be surrounded by the lifeless weight of stagnant yesterdays. You know it's out there, you hunger for it. All that's left now is allowing yourself to be embraced by it. The fact that you write things like this is proof that you believe, still, after everything that you've been through, that you are entitled to your comeuppance. You don't need a therapist to tell you, you don't need a pill to push you over the top. It's all on you. Be open to receive your prize. And know that you are a prize.
posted by
CunningLinguist
on May 4, 2008 at 1:41 PM
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oh my dearest -
This is filled with such pain, such longing and yearning for normalcy and just where and how to find it. I feel your pain in so many ways, at so many junctures.
My solution would be to let the light shine on the plus side of those tally sheets; learn from the shadowy side but gaze always into the light for it shall illuminate the intricacies of love that is yours. My lady, when you let go of the light inside you, as you shine it on your children and your little princesses, it is dazzling. It takes one breath away to read you describe your happiness. I love that in you so much. Your writing reveals the depths of your happiness as well as the abysms of your pain. Release the pain, let it go to the shadows and look for the loverly things to make that light side of your tally sheet +"plus"+ heavy. It is a good thing that you write it out, I think.
I love you and remember you every single day though my empty mailbox attests to other business; I am so so sorry I have neglected you! Would you but come read me and take in some of my latest writings, plz dear? I've missed your presence as I am sure you have mine.
You must know this -- I love you, my dearest sister!!
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on May 4, 2008 at 1:10 PM
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