Go to No Answers Found Here.
- Add a comment
- Go to Mothers And Daughters
Re: Wow. That's really poignant.
strat---thanks for reading! Yes, it's very common. It just goes to show you that people are people, no matter who they are to you personally. There are three women with whom I meet regularly, and all of us have family members like this. My cousin has this same issue with her father. My dad had it with his mother (God rest your soul, Grandma). Other friends of mine have it with their adult children. It's the reason I wrote about it.
posted by
FineYoungSinger
on March 21, 2008 at 8:54 AM
| link to this | reply
Wow. That's really poignant.
And the situation is a lot more common than most folks probably realize.
posted by
strat
on March 21, 2008 at 6:20 AM
| link to this | reply
Re:
Hey Sira, thanks for reading! Love is a tough word to define. The world defines it as a feeling or emotion--in all reality, it's an act, requiring a decision to step out of yourself and do the harder things. "Loving" your sister isn't necessarily being supportive, happy, friendly, sappy---sometimes it's just being nice when you don't like a person. This is the case of my mother--I simply don't like her, and I don't like her behavior. This is why the verses from scripture jumped out at me. I can't spend the rest of my life seeking her approval, because ultimately she's not the life-giving source that fills me as I live and breathe today.
Loving her means acting upon this fact, and not letting her become an idol.
posted by
FineYoungSinger
on March 18, 2008 at 12:40 PM
| link to this | reply
Like purple, I was giggling through the first bit. But things didn't seem so funny by the end of the post!
I'm sorry you have such a rough relationship with your mother. I think there will always be people in the world that we just can't get along with, but it's sad when that person is someone like a parent.
I spent the better part of my life being told that I "had to" love my sister, and indeed half of my extended family, just because they were family.
But being family is just not enough--if they're not going to cherish and respect you, then they don't deserve to be cherished or respected by you!
posted by
Sira890
on March 18, 2008 at 12:16 PM
| link to this | reply
Re:
Hi Mermaid, yeah, I keep a sense of humor about the whole thing...My peace with the situation comes with acceptance of what she is. I don't let her get away with her poor behavior--we are disciples, not doormats--but I also don't continue attacking her and holding the grudge. Once it's said, it's said, and we remain pleasant. In the end, it's all between her and God within those walls she's erected, and I can have a better life if I simply live well and love her from afar.
posted by
FineYoungSinger
on March 18, 2008 at 6:30 AM
| link to this | reply
Re: This makes me grateful for the wonderful mother I had.
Hi Whacky! Glad this had a positive impact on you! HI BO!!
posted by
FineYoungSinger
on March 18, 2008 at 6:14 AM
| link to this | reply
sweetheart, you had me laughing at the beginning of your post...really...but as i went deep, i feel rather sad...i can just imagine how appalling this might be for you thru the years...i admire you for just letting her be eventually and not relish anymore on the dim side of it...and yes just like whacky here said dear...my mother is also something else...positively. being able to write about it means accepting and letting go...great job my love...
posted by
__Purple_Mermaid11__
on March 17, 2008 at 10:10 PM
| link to this | reply
This makes me grateful for the wonderful mother I had.
A smile
from =^. .^= and me!
posted by
Whacky
on March 17, 2008 at 9:32 PM
| link to this | reply