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sira
thank you for the vote of confidence but most the time I am very out going and people see that but I havent met a man that wanted to compete with my daughter
posted by
Lanetay
on March 10, 2008 at 9:22 PM
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I feel a little silly
giving anyone advise in matters of the heart, or religion, or anything like that. I certainly don't have the life experience required to make me an "expert". But here's what I've come to understand, during my few short years on this earth:
First: God isn't something that you can find through science, or any physical means. It's a faith--a belief that comes from within, and does not require any sort of proof. If Thomas only believed after he saw the wounds for himself, then I don't think Thomas ever really believed.
Second: Being happy on your own is the first step to being in a happy relationship. There are thousands of really fantastic people in this world, and you are one of them. When people can see that you are all the company you need, and that being alone does not make you lonely, they'll be lining up to spend time with you, and see what all the fuss is about!
I'll even volunteer to buy you a big stick--you'll be needing it, to beat back all your admirers
posted by
Sira890
on March 10, 2008 at 8:23 PM
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cheugon
posted by
Lanetay
on March 10, 2008 at 4:57 PM
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I like older women anywhere!
posted by
metalrat
on March 10, 2008 at 4:44 PM
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thank you for a man of his word, not too many of those around
I will check out what you told me to do. I don't ask God for material things I work for those, what i do ask him to show me the way to meet the man that we can live the rest of our lives out together. Nothing happens there. I am a very strong woman and I have always felt tears were a sign of weakness, but now I am starting to see that they can be a sign of strength
posted by
Lanetay
on March 10, 2008 at 4:23 PM
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As promised...
...here's a recommendation,
The Case for a Creator, by Lee Strobel. He's a journalist who, out of skepticism, interviewed knowledgeable experts in various fields, in order to prove the non-existence of a Creator. What he discovered will surprise you. Hint: You will love the section on Hell. It ain't what many Christians think! Hell was a big issue for me and he put it in perspective like nobody else could. Also, I'd like to encourage you to not make assumptions about the existence of God, based strictly on your personal situation. In particular, your loneliness. One has nothing to do with the other. I'm not your usual Christian, as you can probably tell. Many Christians would disagree with me on many things. I don't mind. I have my doubts about things, but, it's not a sin to doubt. Doubt is an essential part of faith. Faith is built on the rubble of doubt. Let your journey take you where you need to go. One prayer God will always answer, is the request for wisdom and understanding. The only things I pray for is the well being of others and wisdom and understanding for myself. Never do I pray for material things. Don't pray for life to be easier. Pray for God to make you stronger! Good luck and take care!
posted by
metalrat
on March 10, 2008 at 4:14 PM
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ZenMom
for more than 24 years I have basically been alone without a steady man, and raised my 21 year old daughter without a minute of help from her dad, I had to be strong but sometimes you need to let the strength go, and give into tears, when that doesnt happen then you just start to feel the real pain of being alone forever. thanks for the concern
posted by
Lanetay
on March 10, 2008 at 9:02 AM
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Re: ZenMom
I was thinking something like.......you WANT a man.......but, you don't NEED a man. I always tell my daughter that it's ok to be alone (no boyfriend). I remind her that she is her own best friend. However, I know the "rules" change as one ages.......and perhaps you are concerned with being alone for the rest of your life. I can certainly understand this. I am watching my sister as she deals with this same issue. You ask: Will you be ok w/out anyone? I think you will. You appear to have a great deal of inner strength.
posted by
ZenMom
on March 10, 2008 at 5:44 AM
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cheugon
thank you for the help
posted by
Lanetay
on March 9, 2008 at 9:21 PM
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Re: cheugon
I agree! Church often works against faith, for the thinkers, that is! That's why faith comes from within. You have to work out the God thing for yourself. No church can do that for you. Church is where you go to "pay your respects" but, life is where faith "cuts it's teeth." It's tough, I admit. Avail yourself of some great literature on your dilemma. I'll write back tomorrow with some suggestions, if you like. I went threw a crisis-of-faith several years ago and I discovered some wonderful writing on the topic. My eyes are telling me they want sleep, so, let me give it to them. Take care and hang in there!
posted by
metalrat
on March 9, 2008 at 9:00 PM
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cheugon
I was raised in a home where we went to church every Sun, my mom was a great believer and use to preach to me to go to church, but it isnt church that gives you faith its you that does that and I am starting to question do I really believe? Being alone for as many years as I have been doesnt seem to be the right answer.
posted by
Lanetay
on March 9, 2008 at 8:09 PM
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God answers prayer...
...sometimes the answer is "no." More often than not, the answer is no. I'm reading a book called "The language of God" by Francis S. Collins. He's a leading geneticist and the long-time head of the Human Genome Project. No intellectual lightweight! In the book, he makes the brilliant point, that, God can only intervene in human history, on rare occasions. Otherwise, chaos would ensue. I extend that rationale to a persons individual life. If God intervened whenever we asked, chaos would reign supreme. I know your thinking, "But, I don't expect or ask God to intervene in everything." That's true, I'm sure. But, what most people don't realize, is, that God has given us more freedom to choose how we live our lives and what we bring into it, than we allow ourselves! I personally have known people who were afraid to walk one step unless they knew God's will for that step. And I'm only slightly exaggerating! You've probably known people like that! That's one of the things about modern American Protestantism that irritates the crap out of me! People don't accept the freedom that God has given them! Maybe, because it's easier to blame God, when we refuse to choose for ourselves.
Lustorlove, your life is before you! God is allowing you to choose what you do with it. Why refuse the freedom he's given you by tossing it back to him? Jesus said, "I came that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly." It's there. Take it! I know it's hard. I get angry at God sometimes. I don't have a woman and there's not one around here that I want. I can blame God or stop believing in him because of my romantic deprivation, but, I am the one who decided to not "put myself out there" on the meat market, for my own reasons. And like you, I'm facing an empty nest, when my older teenagers leave. Then I'll have the time and freedom to do some shopping...if you know what I mean.
So, hang in there. You're still in control, so, take control! God gave it to you!
posted by
metalrat
on March 9, 2008 at 8:05 PM
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ZenMom
so you think as I get older I will be ok without anyone?
posted by
Lanetay
on March 9, 2008 at 8:01 PM
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Samantha39
its hard to hold on to faith when you have lost it
posted by
Lanetay
on March 9, 2008 at 8:00 PM
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sam444
there is no foundation for me to believe
posted by
Lanetay
on March 9, 2008 at 8:00 PM
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You don't need a man........or god. You are one tough, resilient lady.
posted by
ZenMom
on March 9, 2008 at 7:43 PM
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no, I guess I'm not a doubting thomas. maybe there is a reason
for your no answer from God.. I pray for things and later I see
why a certain thing is not answered because God has other
plans for me..sometimes it's not revealed for months or year..
you've got to trust and believe..maybe he's speaking to you
through someone else or a feeling you're having. Please don't
lose faith, dear. Sometimes faith is all we have. God Bless
posted by
Samantha39
on March 9, 2008 at 7:22 PM
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Only believe and pray without ceasing! sam
posted by
sam444
on March 9, 2008 at 6:35 PM
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