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A Friend Lost
This may get deep. I had a close friend in high school. I did something stupid, I made
out with her brother. We didn't talk about it. We stayed friends for a few more years
but it was different. At one point she cut me out completely. I have tried to recconnect
but failed. She will talk to me but I always make the first move so it ends up being just
a few times a year we talk. The last time I saw her I couldn't believe how her husband
acts, he is by far a womanizer. I tried to stay away from him. Sometimes I feel maybe
she doesn't want to get to close to someone and let them know she is unhappy or maybe
she still is pissed about me and her brother.
posted by
Samantha39
on January 17, 2008 at 7:15 AM
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SpitFire
I would gladly confront him if I could. He now lives far enough away that it is not easy to just stop by his place and after our phone conversation, it looks like he may have been avoiding me for the last year just because. I did return the flag that day and he had already said he was not going to be home at that time. I did write a letter to him where I was very frank and to the point about it all. From what I got form him he has every plan of continuing to avoid me, so it really is all up to him now and there is next to nothing I can do.
I am guessing a lot of this is some personal issues he is having with his life. I don't think he loves his wife at all and more or less married her just because he figured it was the thing to do. I don't think he has any goals in his life right now. He was in the marines and excelled there, but one of the reasons he ended up in the Marines was he found nothing else that he wanted to do. So it would not surprise me if part of this was him thinking that he could somehow move on and make his life better by getting rid of all 'distractions' such as friends and like and focusing on whatever. More than likely though he has no idea what that 'whatever' is.
He has been a friend of mine for over 20 years now and at one point we were very close. The way this all happened just did not feel right in the least. I really am starting to think that he is sabotaging himself so that he dies a very lonely person who is mad at the world. As far as I understood it I was really his last friend and that his whole social life was becoming more and more just doing stuff of his wife. So with me gone, my guess is he will drive his wife away next, which I have always gotten the feeling he had been working on that since the beginning of their relationship. He already avoids his family as much as possible.
It just seems he really wants to be as lonely as possible.
posted by
kooka_lives
on January 13, 2008 at 5:28 PM
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posted by
afzal50
on January 12, 2008 at 5:09 AM
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Can understand how it feels!
posted by
Straightforward
on January 12, 2008 at 1:49 AM
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Kooka,
I don't get that situation of yours. I have a similar one going on myself, but not with a friend since childhood. I think that maybe, if it means a lot to you or is bugging you enough, confront him. Ask him what's up? Return the flag (if you haven't already) and try to do it when he is at home. That will give you an "in" to talk to him. And ya know what? If he doesn't open up or give you any reason as to what his deal is, walk away. He obviously has his own personal issues and only he can resolve them. You have your own life to worry about.
posted by
SpitFire70
on January 11, 2008 at 10:35 PM
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