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Re: Maggie
Good idea.

posted by
MaggieMae
on January 13, 2008 at 3:36 PM
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Hugs..
posted by
jacentaOld
on January 11, 2008 at 5:42 PM
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Offy
Thanks]
I will be okay--I'm a survivor in more ways than one.
posted by
StrickGold
on January 11, 2008 at 9:34 AM
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Maggie
I think that my state still recognizes commom law bur not 100% sure
I am taking steps to secure a better job with more $$ so that if something does happen I can take care of myself
posted by
StrickGold
on January 11, 2008 at 9:33 AM
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Troosha
I felt this way too -- at first but I do know that I will be better off if I quit! I quit for awhile and felt so great but part of me feels like he is changing me-- I smoked 23 yrs ago when we were engaged and so he has always known this. He tells me that it was just a quick solution to keep his x wife from getting the $$ if something happened to him but that nothing was going to happen well if thats the case then why couldnt he have put me down as the beneficiary -- To ME its like saying I love you but I don't trust you to make decisions for my children
posted by
StrickGold
on January 11, 2008 at 9:31 AM
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Kabu
I agree, I have noticed a huge change this week- there have been other things as well that have taken place this week. I know that he loves me and he has been under a lot of stress this week. Part of me wants to think that I am over reacting but I am going to protect myself as well. I can say that he does include me in all finace decisions. I have credit cards in my name on his accounts that was a HUGE step for him and we share a bank account. So we are taking baby steps - his x wives were horrible with $ so this is a huge thing
posted by
StrickGold
on January 11, 2008 at 9:27 AM
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Wiley
I expect you to be direct because I do value your opinion. I agree things are not leading to a secure relationship- I have noticed more of a change this week especially. We have the house to ourselves this weekend and I plan to lay many things out on the table and get things cleared up- since we will be alone and uninterrupted for a change
posted by
StrickGold
on January 11, 2008 at 9:23 AM
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Goldie
I don't like what I am reading luv and to be direct, that doesn't sound like a secure relationship. Either one is committed or is not, simple as that.
posted by
WileyJohn
on January 10, 2008 at 9:28 PM
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be very careful darling. He's having second thoughts about marriage
you have to look after yourself financially. Love is wonderful and exciting and fullfilling and I could go on all night when I think about Wiley but we are also being adults about the finance thing.
posted by
Kabu
on January 10, 2008 at 9:10 PM
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Strick
Sounds like a stall tactic to me (to say he won’t marry you until you quit smoking). Isn’t that kind of saying he doesn’t love you the way you are? Oh sure, I’m all for quitting smoking but to make it a condition of marriage seem odd to me. Now perhaps that’s a stretch but in terms of getting his financial affairs in order, I know of what you speak. I did get married a year and a half ago and my husband kept saying “I’ll change my Will, etc”. It dragged on for so long that I started to pursue purchasing some investment property because I was feeling a little financially vulnerable should something happen to him. Well, that got him thinking – I’d have a secondary home to move into should shit hit the fan and he didn’t like that feeling. As of last week he changed the title of the house to reflect both of us as equal owners. I think we have to make it pretty clear what our needs are in order to feel secure within a relationship because a sense of security, after all, is part of the loving package. Maybe you just need to sit him down and be specific. Sometimes it’s that simple with men.
posted by
Troosha
on January 10, 2008 at 1:11 PM
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WOW, what a predictament you're in......................
Actually, Strickgold, I'm not sure there is common-law marriage anymore. I think they're just called, companions.
I think I'd rethink this and think of myself. I wouldn't depend on him to take care of me. Sorry, but that's the way I think.
posted by
MaggieMae
on January 10, 2008 at 12:12 PM
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OMG...I don't know what to say other than YOU need to protect YOURSELF...Good grief what a mess!!! His Mother? Is he crazy?
I am so sorry all this is happening to you..
posted by
Offy
on January 10, 2008 at 11:58 AM
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