Go to Her Smile
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- Go to Tribal Spirit
The tribal spirit is friendly, not a ghost
posted by
Straightforward
on December 11, 2007 at 1:10 AM
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Re: Last 4 lines big let down for me
sorry about the let down. i really don't write for an ending. I just write and it comes to a closure for me when it does. I just get to a line and say ok that has to be the end of it because I can't write beyond a certain point.
posted by
ThaLovePoet
on December 10, 2007 at 12:50 PM
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another beautiful .spiritual images and thoughts ...expressed deeply and well done..
posted by
drohan254
on December 9, 2007 at 11:06 PM
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posted by
Soul_Builder101
on December 9, 2007 at 8:18 PM
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Last 4 lines big let down for me
Loved the rhythm and got caught up in it (the peice)...thought I was going someplace (it didn't have to be exotic, but someplace I never been before--should I be sorry for my expectations?).
To put it another way, it's like getting into a good ghost story, and the storyteller saying, "Boo!" If I had known this is where we were somewhere in the middle of the piece, I wouldn't have finished it, and I wouldn't be writing this comment.
Yes, the poem is well written, and I get this feeling of a much longer piece--that is, if you still had the stamina and vision to get to it (and I'm looking foward to that possibility).
Look it, we all get involved with closure to an idea that comes to us. But how many times do we enter an idea that will take at least 5 years to complete. I'm just sensing a much longer (and dramtic) poem, and if I'm sensing it, I think you know it too.
This is a well written poem, no doubt. But do you think if you just put it in your pocket, it wouldn't emerge, the next part, a few years from now?
Just a thought
posted by
jfm32
on December 9, 2007 at 7:16 PM
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