Go to Divorce Therapy
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I am in therapy everyday!
I actually am a therapist. I have the opportunity of meeting with great people each and every day. Boundaries with abusive people is very difficult because they often try to turn things around on you and make you feel like you are the bad guy. Learning to own your inappropriate behavior and letting the other person own their misbehaviors is very critical for boundary building.
Therapy doesn't always work. That may sound strange coming from a therapist, but there are many factors that determine outcome in therapy. For example, some couples come to me for therapy with a mindset that they want out of their marriage. What is the goal? Is it to save the marraige or help them learn to move on? Each spouse may have a different goal in mind.
My goal as a therapist is to help people live more full lives so that they can enjoy their life. I believe the ultimate goal is finding innner peace amidst challenging circumstances.
BTW I personally believe divorce is one of the most difficult issues to go through. I have worked many hours with individuals in similar situations as yours and I know what you are going through is NOT easy. May God bless you in your journey. I am impressed that you are open and talking about it. This is a good way to heal.
Regards
posted by
IntimacyMatters
on November 1, 2007 at 10:10 AM
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I went from my ex husband into the chair.
It was the best experience ever....after being battered, it helps alot. Also, I've kept in touch with my psychologist, and use his services proactively every few years, just to see how I'm doing--like an emotional checkup.
posted by
FineYoungSinger
on October 31, 2007 at 9:41 PM
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Le Divorcee
posted by
Soul_Builder101
on October 31, 2007 at 8:19 PM
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I saw a shrink when I was 13, but I felt that it didn't help much
It was because of my low self-esteem, and felt that I didn't have much of progress. Well, I guess it depends on the person.
posted by
Matie
on October 31, 2007 at 2:47 PM
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One time I tried it and was greatly disappointed, but then again, I
expected the therapist to tell me what to do and they don't do that, LOL...This was YEARS ago...once I got out of the relationship I was in at the time, I was miraculously cured! LOL (That's debatable!)
I hope it works out well for you!
posted by
Ariala
on October 31, 2007 at 12:39 PM
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riri0322
That is the biggest problem, isn't it? That you have to want to get help.
posted by
le_divorcee
on October 31, 2007 at 11:37 AM
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theraphy can help many if you want it too
more people should go, but not use it as a crock but as a tool
posted by
riri0322
on October 31, 2007 at 11:25 AM
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Pat_B
How good that you learned that you weren't the problem in your marriage, the same way that I'm learning this too. He is now seeking therapy, good. Too bad he didn't do it when it would have mattered for you.
posted by
le_divorcee
on October 31, 2007 at 9:29 AM
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Life has its way of twisting our words and playing ironic tricks...
I once tried to get my husband to go to therapy with me. He went to one session, declared it bullshit and refused to go again. So I went on my own, realized I was not the problem in my marriage and if I wanted my sanity I'd have to get out. After the divorce I was euphoric in my freedom, he had a meltdown, which I helped him get through. Twenty-odd years later his second wife divorced him and he's seeing a shrink on a regular basis. Coming to the decision to save myself took years, but once it was made I never regretted it.
posted by
Pat_B
on October 31, 2007 at 9:22 AM
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