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Re: Good advice
its sad that one bad love has to spoil love
posted by
Lanetay
on September 20, 2007 at 6:16 PM
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Re: Love
very true many things make up love, do we really know love?
posted by
Lanetay
on September 20, 2007 at 6:15 PM
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Love
Powerful topic. I hear what you are saying, I think both sexes can be weak, it's down to the individual. Love is not so much hard to find as it is to lose. When you know within yourself that you truly love someone, then if that person does not love you in return the same and departs, then it is them that had found love in you and it is them that has lost love by losing you. For those of us that have that love dwelling inside us, then we will not have to look hard for love but we may find it hard to cope with if we're not loved in return. It's also true what you say that love can be shadowed by many disguises, such as lust, want, need and desire. Anyway good post's that you have placed & excuse the long reply.
Regards
posted by
UncharteredSoul
on September 20, 2007 at 2:13 PM
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Good advice
My biggest mistake was rushing in. I will never do it again!
posted by
le_divorcee
on September 20, 2007 at 7:49 AM
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Re: Interesting TK -Maybe that's why courting and getting to know a person
but for those that dont plan on getting married sex
needs to be present
posted by
Lanetay
on September 18, 2007 at 6:38 PM
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Interesting TK -Maybe that's why courting and getting to know a person
without the sex would determine whether one misses the person? Can't miss the sex if you never had it!
posted by
roadscross
on September 18, 2007 at 1:01 PM
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Tattered_Knight
but when the craving is for the whole person and the relationship are you sure its not desperation to be with someone?
posted by
Lanetay
on September 17, 2007 at 9:04 PM
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lustorlove
love is confused with lust. One may feel like they are in love, but it is really just the sex that they miss and not the true person.
posted by
Tattered_Knight
on September 17, 2007 at 8:55 PM
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Krisles
guess we need to know how deep the feelings go before we know if they are real or not, I have played, but now I dont want just sex I need more
posted by
Lanetay
on September 17, 2007 at 7:24 PM
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lustorlove
I think I'm kind of bi-sexual in my attitude.....how's that for an opener!!! Actually, I've been tested and found I have no desire for women.....what I meant by that, to be serious, is I've often noticed that I can....but don't always....separate love from lust quite handily, unlike most women I know, but like a lot of men I do. I don't think there has to be love for great sex.....but I think love can add a special dimension to great physical sex. I've never had sex with anyone and then regreted the sex.....but I have gotten emotionally involved and regretted that....see what I mean about being both ways? I did go through the "flower child" phase, when having sex was just what we did.....it was a phase I grew out of....but, I don't regret the experiences because I learned a lot about what I like and don't....in sex and men. I've also dallied in the married but want to fool around website....which I posted about when I first came on here....and learned more about men's emotional needs than I ever did without the anonymity. They aren't all that different when you take the testosterone out of it....which, of course, you never can completely. But, I've also been on testosterone cream....and that gave me a completely different view!
Great post! Thanks for sharing.
posted by
Krisles
on September 17, 2007 at 7:09 PM
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Chyrlann
this is the way I have been for years since my husband 23 years ago left me for another woman, one of many he had been with. That gave me very low self esteem and I was looking for love, thinking sex would take me there, all it did was fulfil the mans need and mine for the short time we were together. I was in a really good relationship until he got so sick he was in bed for more than 2 months, he is now reaching out for me and I will be there as I do feel there was the spark of love because he does to meet what you said fulfills more than the sexual side of it. Thanks for stopping by
posted by
Lanetay
on September 17, 2007 at 6:28 AM
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Gosh, some good stuff here LL. I struggled with this one for many years.
I think men and woman can view lust quite differently. I know personally it was difficult for me to distinguish because of my need for affection. I also believe most men require affection as well. I believe (although mostly unintentional) it’s easier for a woman to justify their need for affection & even sex by declaring their ‘feelings’ as love to avoid societal judgment, whereas it is more acceptable for a man to admit fulfilling a need and simply move on.
Most healthy men won’t forgo being seduced, unless an honorable amount of respect is gained before the invitation. If there is an honorable and respectable connection and mutually wanting more then immediate, physical gratification, both mature adults would consider the repercussions of a premature physical encounter and the pain of emotional involvement it may cause the other.
All of the above logical and responsible forethought is of course easier said than done and it took me years to consider; I was just as much at fault if my intentions were not honorable as any man was. I was no longer willing to become physically involved with a man if my intentions were not beyond the physical need. It wasn’t fair to them nor was it fair to me, not to mention the experience of an empty and unfulfilling temporal moment of passion. I longed for a deeper fulfillment and have been willing to wait patiently.
My only experience of knowing what love truly is is in knowing what love truly is not, after many years of encounters with men and never feeling any true connection other than physical need. I’m also very comfortable and fulfilled with my life and with friends and family in abundance, I am not deficient in companionship, nor hugs & affection. I am an extremely healthy woman and moments can be difficult, but in comparison to an unfulfilled physical relationship, there is no contest.
I knew I finally understood what love was when my need for this man moved beyond physical desire to admiration and respect in wanting more for this man’s happiness and comfort than my own, even if his needs meant not having me in his life.
posted by
roadscross
on September 16, 2007 at 11:38 PM
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Whacky
I am glad you liked it I hope to hit home with some
posted by
Lanetay
on September 16, 2007 at 9:30 PM
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Some really good thoughts here!
Roses
from me and Bo =^..^= the wonder dog!
posted by
Whacky
on September 16, 2007 at 9:26 PM
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Re: lol
you chose the game and the toy
posted by
Lanetay
on September 16, 2007 at 9:17 PM
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lol
I like to play...
posted by
Enigmatic68
on September 16, 2007 at 9:14 PM
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Enigmatic68
you want to play with me?
posted by
Lanetay
on September 16, 2007 at 8:41 PM
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lol
I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R' Us kid! lol! 
posted by
Enigmatic68
on September 16, 2007 at 8:34 PM
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Soul_Builder101
oh baby tell me
posted by
Lanetay
on September 16, 2007 at 8:31 PM
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Re: Re: Re: Soul_Builder101
With my wit...that is dangerous territory to tread on! lol
posted by
Soul_Builder101
on September 16, 2007 at 7:44 PM
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justanotherskinnybitch
especially when they lose touch with the one they claim to love
posted by
Lanetay
on September 16, 2007 at 7:24 PM
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Re: Re: Soul_Builder101
where do you want me to kiss
posted by
Lanetay
on September 16, 2007 at 7:23 PM
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Desperate, humorless, milquetoasts
are the most pathetic of all men in the whole world.
posted by
justanotherskinnybitch
on September 16, 2007 at 5:55 PM
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Re: Soul_Builder101
What? An ear kisser!lol
posted by
Soul_Builder101
on September 16, 2007 at 5:55 PM
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Soul_Builder101
oh please I dont want to grow up, I might turn into you
posted by
Lanetay
on September 16, 2007 at 1:21 PM
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lustor........
Finally growing up, are you?
posted by
Soul_Builder101
on September 16, 2007 at 1:11 PM
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