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Re: enchatted
Thank you for what you've said, it means so much to me and I figured I'd take the time to explain your quandry involving the 'jagged walls'. The jagged walls are a representation of the unapproachable front that some people place around themselves. A way to keep certain people at bay as a self defense mechanism but at the same time, they want you to scale those walls to find the person inside. A kind of test of one's mettle I guess you could say. After climbing over the walls, the next step is to sit with them within their high tower.
Thank you though for actually challenging my words. It's nice to hear that rather than the obligatory 'nice job'. Or the usual 'loved it' kind of thing. Your words will not go unnoticed.
posted by
isaach
on May 29, 2007 at 6:25 AM
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It's a beautiful poem.
posted by
afzal50
on May 28, 2007 at 11:21 AM
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wow, beautiful....
posted by
star4sky5
on May 28, 2007 at 10:31 AM
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Sweet dilemma indeed............
posted by
ThomasWelch
on May 28, 2007 at 9:56 AM
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enchanted
Sorry, the title of the previous comment was typo'd into enchatted. Not what I meant at all!
posted by
Tarpa
on May 28, 2007 at 9:24 AM
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enchatted
Wish I could see the poem right now whilst writing the response. But anyway:
the repeating verse is really neat about enchantment, especially how she makes you want to 'linger there'. This could make a nice song, as I suspect you know.
I found the sudden metaphor of the jagged walls jarring. Why jagged? Why walls? It seems so cold, hard, painful, rocky. Not enchanting. Understand that you are playing with sense of separation along with longing for and experience of union, so remoteness is fine, but the jagged wall seems too obtrusive somehow. Maybe a high tower, or distant ship on the horizon, or something like that which is remote but not ragged-jagged.
Anyway, that is my attempt at giving feedback in terms of what I felt reading it. Not criticism or suggestion, which I don't really believe in. Just description of my reaction which I hope you find of interest.
posted by
Tarpa
on May 28, 2007 at 9:24 AM
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