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no spark
be gentle but fair and tell him how you feel..false hope is a bummer not good for either of you. you feel for someone or you don't...you cant force it. i prefer honesty at all cost..
posted by
t_u_f_
on March 3, 2007 at 11:04 AM
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I just ended it with my e-mail guy after we met in person the first time. That "something" just wasn't there. I just said exactly what I thought. Maybe some guys would rather it be sugar coated, but I imagine most of them are looking for honesty as much as I am.
posted by
msugatinha
on March 3, 2007 at 9:21 AM
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There must be 50 ways to leave your email lover.. well there's the old Simon and Garfunkel song or you could email a very earnest and intense letter about either religion or politics or just say it's been nice but gotta go.
posted by
robdon67
on March 2, 2007 at 10:44 PM
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It's not always easy, but...
...it's best to just be honest. If you let someone down easy it's usually better than giving them false hope, b/c eventually they'll catch on that your feelings aren't genuine and then things could get really awkward. For years my heart was set on one girl in particular, who was spoken for at the time, but while I secretly pined for her, I had a few suitors who proclaimed feelings for me and I felt bad having to tell them that the feelings weren't mutual, but nonetheless, I did and fortunately I was able to maintain my friendship with most of them after, and since then they've either gone on to find husbands, fiances or boyfriends, and I'm happily engaged now (not to my crush from then, btw...that novelty eventually wore off) so in the end, it seems everything has worked out for the best for all of us.
Oh, and thanks for commenting on my latest post! It's nice to have encouragement from fellow bloggers, especially in times of change.
posted by
JBird79
on March 2, 2007 at 9:57 PM
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Thanks for your comments!
I'm actually not driving; I live in New York City. But yeah, the commute by subway alone would probably be about 20-30 minutes, and I wouldn't want to have to do that every time I wanted to see a guy.
Another thing: I always get sent e-mails with profiles of guys I "might" be interested in. Even though I checked the "any" box in terms of race, I always get profiles of guys who are either white or Asian-American--very few blacks and hispanics.
posted by
Kasthu
on March 2, 2007 at 8:23 PM
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I always had fun with online dating!
I noticed the exact same thing about profiles that you did. As for you doing all the driving and making all the effort...I had to do that before, and it got really old really quick. With one of the guys I'm dating now, Grant, I go over to his place most of the time, but that's because he lives about two minutes from my work, so it's a little different in that situation. However, it shouldn't all be on you. And the guy in whom you're no longer interested...yeah, I'd just e-mail him and tell him that he seems like a nice guy but that you're just not really feeling a connection with him. He might be a little disappointed, but unless he's a total psychopath, he'll appreciate the honesty. Wow, this was a long comment!
posted by
Jadelynn
on March 2, 2007 at 6:34 PM
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effort
posted by
poetjpb
on March 2, 2007 at 5:35 PM
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I agree with you, sounds like he expects you to drive there and make the
posted by
poetjpb
on March 2, 2007 at 5:35 PM
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Yes or no will have the same effect .
posted by
afzal50
on March 2, 2007 at 3:52 PM
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