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Chyrlann-
Finally, someone who sees the humor in what I write. Thanks for that. And if I kick the bucket anytime soon, you can come to Kansas to find him! They are a rare lot, men like him. He says he's glad when I take a nap! He cooks for me and drives me places. He loves me even when he doesn't feel like it. I hope one just like him builds you a prisonless home and loves you in spite of yourself!
LadyCeeMarie 
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on March 1, 2007 at 10:56 AM
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thanks, Afzal
I am overjoyed with my husband now. He has been "reformed" and is working on mending his cold aloof former man his depression had transformed him into. I may have to pick up his arms to snuggle in to fall asleep but only sometimes. He is learning and working to adjust to my neediness for love, affection, reaffirmation of my worthiness and that he does love me. He watched all of American Idol last night and the night before and he'll sit and bear it for a half hour tonight. I could retreat to another TV room, but we decided to spend more time together, so TV compromise has been a necessity. Mike and I had watched together from a distance and then we'd compare notes on who we liked. It was so much fun. My older brother, the staunch conservative, loves the Idols. That blew my mind. Mike would imagine if those kids were one of our kids, (we're the right age for 20 somethings) and how it would feel to be in the audience. Can I get Jay to do that?.....not really. When I was organizing old family photos and I had albums and boxes of pictures cluttering up the dining room for a month and Jay complained, Mike said he would have been out there, helping me and remembering the good 'ol days. Now he's ashamed of telling me how he would have loved me enough to help? I've just got my hands full retraining my old husband with some ways to show he's involved in my interests as much as I'm involved in his. I know I can't change him but I want to laugh like Julia did in the movie and be bubbling over with love with my husband feeling the same way. If I had to go through this heartache for some reason, I want it to be to love my dearest, my best friend, the strongest man I know who can live with my strong will, my Jay, my husband.
Thanks, Afzal! I needed that, too!
ladyceemarie
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on March 1, 2007 at 10:43 AM
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Hi dis-
Thank you for picking that one! Just because he had "seen the light" (He is now ashamed of loving me) and I am not (therefore I'm still living under this delusion), he got professional mental health, I chose not to, because I know what ailed me - leftover feelings of now one-sided love. I am not hearing voices in my head by being intuitive and aware of that little God voice. Better go haul Oprah away and half her guests who also hear their God voice. He heard it, more than once, but that's been relegated to a delusionary world the two of us had concocted together. He now sees how deluded he was, loving me -- the results of marriage counseling and seeing a shrink for him. The new therapy for falling in love, illicitly. Evoke feelings of shame and delusion; make patient see, feel, and apologize for the rest of his life and he will '
see the light' --
and be free of delusions that he could have ever strayed. The new love IS mental illness. Bull crap, all of it. Denial of what really went on
is what it IS; mystical and otherwise, all delusional? It's okay if he lied to
me because he's ashamed of his actions during those 8 months. What an ass. OK, I'm taking a big breath!
Thanks, Dis, I needed to do that!!
ladyceemarie
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on March 1, 2007 at 10:20 AM
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Maybe someday, the Lord will send a loving man my way
and even without bars on the windows, he'll stay! LMBO.......you're fun!
posted by
roadscross
on February 28, 2007 at 11:37 PM
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It looks that you are overjoyed and truly happy with someone who loves you.
posted by
afzal50
on February 28, 2007 at 11:15 PM
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LadyCeeMarie
"...not crazy unless love is becoming the new mentally ill." I loved that. :) I relate to that one. Sometimes you feel crazy for being loving but you're not. You're the lucky one for having that much love, to give and receive. You're brave, like I've said before
.
posted by
Discombobulated78
on February 28, 2007 at 9:25 PM
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Carl-
Thanks for your reply. I will never forget the response my MIL gave me as I admired a picture of her and her 2nd husband. They were both widowed and very much in love when they married. I commented on how much in love they looked and she quipped, so much in lust is more like it! They were both 75 years + at the time! She had "Julia kind of love" and so did he before he passed last May. They were married nearly 15 years. They remained in a state of PDA the whole time they were together. So, I would say that as one nears the end of their life, it is not unusual to
want that kind of happiness, that giddy, heart skipping kind of love. It's wonderful when a couple achieves it and keeps it alive. Some couples never know what it's like in the first place... which really wasn't the point of the belief statement. But I do like to birdwalk.
LadyCeeMarie
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on February 28, 2007 at 11:15 AM
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Greetings Cee! Your minister has it right.
Looks like you have a keeper in your feller, Jay. IMHO, fidelity is the most romantic part of love. When passion is so deeply invested in a marriage, it is sometimes missed on the superficial plane where so much of the world lives. Yet, it is your passion for each other that has cemented your marriage in an assurance that has brought comfort and rewards. You need no longer gain each other's love, so you are free to simply show it.
Do not be jealous of new couples. Their extravagant displays of passion are mostly desperation and lack of confidence. They are unsure of the trueness of their love and each tries to prove to themselves and their lover that their love will be a faithful and undying one.
If anything, be jealous of the elderly couple whose love has proven itself faithful and undying. They are the truest romantics. Theirs is the greatest passion.
Best Wishes to you both,
Carl Peter
posted by
cpklapper
on February 27, 2007 at 9:34 PM
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