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- Go to my man...my love...my life..!
tenny,
you poor thing. My heart cries for you. I know you are miserable and you need someone who loves you...someone who really cares for you, definitely not a married man who has his own responsibilities. Surely, there is someone out there who is more committed. You just can't give him your heart. You need to give it to someone who really deserves it. I'll pray that you do find that someone.
posted by
richinstore
on February 23, 2007 at 8:04 AM
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Tenny,
I WAS the wife.......before, in this scenerio. I am deeply sorry for the loss of your husband. You might consider these facts; A married man may feel 'safe' to you after losing your husband so tragically. A man that is unavailable emotionally or otherwise is of a simpler nature of threat to your heart. If your heart has been breaking all along, knowing he isn't 'yours to keep'; at least it is a guarantee, no surprises.
Following my divorce; I joined the 'First Wives Club.' It is quite a joke now, but wasn't at all funny then. He'd left his first wife for the second, the second for the third and I was the fourth. He really didn't want a divorce; He asked if he could 'keep' us both because he could 'afford' both. He just didn't feel right sleeping with a woman unless he was married to her, so when he'd find a new one, after taking her for a test-run, he'd offer the need for a 'mistress' and if his wife didn't approve, he'd dispose of the wife and marry the proposed mistress....I'm not bitter; this is actually comical now.
So, all of us wives got together at different times and discussed our scenerio's regarding this ex-husband of ours. He had three affairs (I found out after), in the six years we were married; all the while, there was NEVER a hint there was anything wrong. His 'I love you's' never ceased, the gifts and our weekend get-aways and our sexual bond and intimacy only grew stronger with each year........(I think he learned a lot from the other woman, truthfully).
In conclusion; the wife 'in front' was astonished at my confession regarding my marriage. He had told her, "I'm not in love with my wife. We haven't slept in the same bed in over a year. She's a __itch, yelling and screaming and abuses me. I'm only staying because of the children, hers and mine. I'm just waiting for the right time. It's YOU I love darling and this is all I have to offer you now, but someday soon we can be together, forever!"
Tee-hee-hee. We all (the First Wives) get along really well. We're all so much alike it's astonishing! And he keeps choosing the same kind of woman over and over again.
You need to fall in love with you, girlfriend. When you've learned to love yourself, unconditionally, you won't need to search. The man you deserve in your life will find you! Use this time wisely to understand who you are, what you want and learn unconditional acceptance for all the gift's God's bestowed upon you, making you loveable and unique, a one-of-a-kind, child of God!
posted by
roadscross
on February 22, 2007 at 7:04 PM
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I think you deserve a man who would belong only to you...
This man, even though you have feelings for him, will never leave his wife. He will never be yours...It's time you faced the truth and let him go.
Here's a LINK to a completely FREE dating site. Sign up and start dating some single guys.
Plenty of Fish
posted by
Passionflower
on February 19, 2007 at 5:44 PM
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posted by
star4sky5
on February 19, 2007 at 5:04 PM
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I agree with Afzal. Best wishes to you.
posted by
Chilitree
on February 19, 2007 at 5:04 PM
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If you find yourself in a hole......the first thing to do is stop diggin'
You and I have been here before......This man has soooooo many red flags a wavin'......
He doesn't love his wife.....and like it out not, you have to realize he doesn't love you. His wife provides the family and comfort of a secure relationship......you provide him with a bit of adventure.....daring.....naughtiness, what ever you'd like to call it.
Understand this....if you drop him today.....he'll be in the Produce section of the local grocery tomorrow looking for another "hot potato".
posted by
Corbin_Dallas
on February 19, 2007 at 5:52 AM
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Your story has touched my heart .I would simply ask you to
waite and then take any decision .If you do not have any social stigma in mixing with anyone without marriage then it is not a bad choice to be with the Doctor but incase your society does not permit you to maintain such relationship then you should ask the Doctor to divorce his wife and marry you. If he loves you he will do everything . If he doesn't want to divorce then you need to move away and find some one who will love you more . Take care .
posted by
afzal50
on February 19, 2007 at 5:05 AM
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tenny--No insight to offer here, dear. Only support... Hope your day is
going well.
posted by
Renigade
on February 19, 2007 at 5:02 AM
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