Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
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- Go to Shocking. Appalling. Shameful.
Julia
My nieces and nephews are much the same way--pretty much opening up their presents and quietly setting them aside. But, Uncle Joe wised up and just hands them gift cards (in a stocking with candy and stuff in it). LOL
posted by
Joe_Love
on January 10, 2007 at 3:04 PM
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I like Troosha's idea!
Good stuff,
Jo
posted by
brisbane_artist
on January 8, 2007 at 9:58 PM
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Julia
It is pretty sad, isn’t it? The absence of manners in some kids astounds me but as you said they can only be as polite as they are taught. Have you ever heard of the gift program where you can buy a poor family a pig, or a goat, or a sheep (which of in some parts of the world would be quite a magnanimous gift)? Member of your family are then given a gift card indicating you have made this purchase on their behalf. Just a thought…
posted by
Troosha
on January 8, 2007 at 1:25 PM
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Julia, buy her a subscription to Blogit. That'll straighten her out.
posted by
_dave_says_ack_
on January 8, 2007 at 10:00 AM
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I'm sorry.
posted by
Amanda__
on January 8, 2007 at 8:11 AM
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Julia, My youngest daughter was alongthe same lines many years ago
No 'thank you' or anything along those lines. It was time to put a stop to it. One Christmas she said "Is this all I get?" I looked at her dead in the eye and gave her the "What about all those poor children who didn't get any gifts at all?" That did the trick . After she got finished crying about an hour later, she came to the realization "Gee, I guess I'm lucky after all." You would think the story ends here, but nope...last Christmas (2005) My grandaughter voiced the same sentiments as her mother did as a child. Before I could say anything, my daughter tore into her withthe "What about ...?" phrase I had used 15 years before on her.
posted by
I-R-William
on January 8, 2007 at 5:26 AM
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Well, they must get the manners from their mother.
I correct my children all the time, and many people in my family find my parenting skills too harsh. Sometimes, you can't win with people, but thank you is always a must. Take care
posted by
Flumpystalls3000
on January 7, 2007 at 5:48 PM
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Maggie--
well have you tried getting them to talk in unison? Whenever I get mine to say "knock knock" at the same time, I bust a gut laughing...
posted by
Julia.
on January 7, 2007 at 3:35 PM
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bel--
and that's how it should be, so you and Carl should feel proud!
posted by
Julia.
on January 7, 2007 at 3:35 PM
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Solo--
well, at least you knew they liked their gift! LOL.
posted by
Julia.
on January 7, 2007 at 3:34 PM
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Not yet today......
Julia. They are in my bedroom and I usually play with them when I'm getting ready for bed, or getting dressed in the mornings. lol
:-)
posted by
MaggieMae
on January 7, 2007 at 2:12 PM
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I can't even begin to think how I would react if Pam failed to thank
someone. Then again, I don't have to remind her, she already knows it is expected and the polite thing to do. Such a shame.
posted by
bel_1965
on January 7, 2007 at 12:06 PM
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My daughters got their matching Barbie cars and were off making up stories again before we were even finished. I'm just happy I found something they can play with.
posted by
Jenasis
on January 7, 2007 at 11:40 AM
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nautikos--
I know what you mean, but I guess I will still hold out hope that it can be different!
posted by
Julia.
on January 7, 2007 at 11:36 AM
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chyrlann--
awwww...how mean, but I guess it got the point across!
posted by
Julia.
on January 7, 2007 at 11:35 AM
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blackcat--
good idea, but she'd probably say No and then I couldn't use that line! wink wink.
posted by
Julia.
on January 7, 2007 at 11:34 AM
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fourcats--
I'm glad they figured it out, but it usually doesn't work that way.
posted by
Julia.
on January 7, 2007 at 11:33 AM
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Whacky--
Right now, I am really thinking that I will forgo any gifts next year and give the money to charity.
posted by
Julia.
on January 7, 2007 at 11:32 AM
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Helen--
Nah, I am frugal--I don't like to waste money!
posted by
Julia.
on January 7, 2007 at 11:31 AM
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TAPS--
LMAO. She's too young to have a MYSPACE page, but she does use email so you just never know!
posted by
Julia.
on January 7, 2007 at 11:30 AM
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Julia,
What can I say that hasn't been said already? It's very sad! To make a change, you'd have to begin by educating the parents, but the pessimist in me doesn't believe that this really ever possible...
posted by
Nautikos
on January 7, 2007 at 5:47 AM
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Julia,
My father had a great cure for problem children and it only took one time to solve the problem; we were probably 4, 5 & 6 but obviously had been misbehaving for quite sometime and apparently the, "You're not going to make the nice list if you don't start behaving and Santa will not come!" Well, this particular year we were convinced he hadn't. My brother (4) got allegator tears, my sister shrieked and ran and I remember distictly having a lump rise in my throat and my heart fall to my stomach on the verge of tears but thinking, "Yep, we really did it this time." He made us suffer for the longest 15 minutes of my life. I just sat and stared at the empty tree. When he could take it no longer, he shouted, "Hey, what's this on the porch?" It was a large kaki, army sack filled to the brim with a note attached, "Couldn't get in, doors locked, no chimney, Santa" Bratty, nasty and spoiled children, the criminals of our future! Great post.
posted by
roadscross
on January 7, 2007 at 12:09 AM
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you can only blame the parents really... that's sad. My nieces are
so thankful... the oldest one (who's 7) nearly cries tears of joy when she gets a gift... it's almost too much! LOL The only thing I can suggest is for you to ask her if she likes it when she opens it.... if she says yes, then say oh good, you're welcome (wink wink).... hopefully she'll realize she should have said thank you? 
btw... I'm LMAO at Taps comment below. LOL
posted by
-blackcat
on January 6, 2007 at 9:56 PM
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julia - i went through the same thing with the children of one family
member except that it involved birthdays which i think is even more personal. nary a word of thanks, year after year and salt in the wound, no recognition of my own birthday, even though it followed one child's birthday by six days.
i couldn't be angry with them, it is very much on the shoulders of the parents. i had to wait for the years to pass, for them to grow into adults with their own opinions and experiences. happily, they've figured it out and make a point to send me notes of thanks and to share their personal lives with me. yay!
posted by
fourcats
on January 6, 2007 at 7:55 PM
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That's just sad.
Next year do give it to the poor!
posted by
Whacky
on January 6, 2007 at 7:49 PM
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Experiment
Just for the heck of it, next year, try buying something you
know she will hate and see what happens! Compare her reactions! Maybe she'll thank you
then.
posted by
Helen_Bach
on January 6, 2007 at 2:16 PM
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Julia.
Hopefully, your niece is not on the internet making fun of your gifts to her readers. LOL
posted by
TAPS.
on January 6, 2007 at 2:13 PM
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Thanks for sharing .
posted by
afzal50
on January 6, 2007 at 2:03 PM
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Alf--
how disturbing!! And no one else said anything? They probably were all too much in shock.
posted by
Julia.
on January 6, 2007 at 2:01 PM
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Holy Grail--
I know, I really like how Offbeats handles it, too...and sorry that I have to wait a whole year to try that out!
posted by
Julia.
on January 6, 2007 at 2:00 PM
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Julia...
It is nauseating behavior that is painful to watch. We do the one-at-a-time method where you have to know who gave the gift before you open it. All the kids were good thankfully, except one; my ex-wifes 12 year old. Had I known my ex-wife was going to show up I may not have even been there but apparently she didn't have any where else to go so my kids invited her to my sisters. Anyways, her daughter actually cried about one of her gifts and even gave it back to the giver, her 29 year old sister, demanding that she replace it with something else...her mom didn't even make a peep. UNBELIEVABLE!!
posted by
A_Norseman
on January 6, 2007 at 1:54 PM
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Wow, that's really sad. I was raised to ALWAYS say thank you, and I gope that if I'd had children I would have passed that on to them. I love what Offbeats' family does!
posted by
Holy_Grail
on January 6, 2007 at 1:53 PM
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word--
I know--it's really more of a reflection on my brother and his wife than it is on the children. They're not being shown, and they're not being taught, either by example or by words.
posted by
Julia.
on January 6, 2007 at 1:43 PM
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Presley--
it's certainly something to hope for--how sad it would be if she never learns to give thanks to others.
posted by
Julia.
on January 6, 2007 at 1:42 PM
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Julia,
This post is testament to the fact that parents need to be ever so careful about how they go about bringing up their kids and the unspoken signals that say it's okay to do this or that. One of the things I've been vigilant about with my son is that he must say please and thank you. If he forgets, and he's trying to take something from me, we end up in a slight tug-of-war until he remembers the magic words.
posted by
word.smith
on January 6, 2007 at 1:39 PM
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Julia
LOL! Heck, you could take her out any day of the year and contribute to a cause or charity of your choice! Just think, you could be that one person who gets through to her!
posted by
Presley
on January 6, 2007 at 1:39 PM
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presley--
that's a good idea, I hate to have to wait until next year though--maybe I can do it for Valentine's Day? LOL.
posted by
Julia.
on January 6, 2007 at 1:36 PM
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maggie--
I'm not sure she will outgrow the absence of saying "thank you" since neither of her parents seem to know these two words even exist!!
P.S. I played with my Furbies today, did you? ;-)
posted by
Julia.
on January 6, 2007 at 1:35 PM
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Julia
Take your niece to the grocery store with you. Have her pick out her favorite foods - enough to fill a paper bag. Take her to a local homeless shelter to drop it off and let her know that it's the homeless people's Christmas gift. You'd be AMAZED at the lesson she will learn about "getting."
posted by
Presley
on January 6, 2007 at 1:31 PM
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Julia....
It's something I think children outgrow. Be patient, you're just now getting the exposure. lol
posted by
MaggieMae
on January 6, 2007 at 1:30 PM
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offbeats--
wow, how I would love to institute THAT rule at the next gift-opening free-for-all. Wouldn't I just be the most popular Auntie ever?? lol.
posted by
Julia.
on January 6, 2007 at 1:28 PM
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ariel--
it IS sad...though I am not about to say that everyone behaves this way, there are certainly far too many discourteous brats...
posted by
Julia.
on January 6, 2007 at 1:27 PM
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Presley--
well, would you please tell me how you went about teaching her? My attempt to open the dialog fell flatter than a pancake!
posted by
Julia.
on January 6, 2007 at 1:26 PM
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Julia
My g/children open gifts by individual...one at a time and if there is not thank you, the gift goes to the Salvation Army. It has been a rule since my children were young. My Dad raised me the same way..
posted by
Offy
on January 6, 2007 at 1:24 PM
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Julia
How very sad!
And how disgraceful that in this age of instant communication it's not only children but adults who a)fail to respond to invitations, b) fail to inform you if they can't make it, c) don't apologise for not turning up, and d) fail to thank you for the dinner/party,whatever.
We've become a race of ignorant, discourteous brats ; kids and adults.
posted by
ariel70
on January 6, 2007 at 1:16 PM
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Julia
I remember my oldest daughter acting like your niece, ONCE, when she was younger. I nipped that attitude in the bud by teaching her that getting gifts is not what's to be celebrated or gotten excited about. Both girls now get in on the fun of giving to those less fortunate!
posted by
Presley
on January 6, 2007 at 1:12 PM
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