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Bold and beautiful writing.

posted by _dave_says_ack_ on December 20, 2006 at 8:25 AM | link to this | reply

Avant

I did what I needed to do.  I understand the feeling of helplessness.  But she is healing and getting stronger everyday.  Keep her in your prayers as I am sure you already do.

Thank you my friend.

posted by bel_1965 on December 20, 2006 at 6:20 AM | link to this | reply

Tanga

you and your lovely wife have been such a blessing around here, I am very proud to call you friends.  Thank you.

posted by bel_1965 on December 20, 2006 at 6:19 AM | link to this | reply

bel

It took guts to put yourself out there like that. I'm sure that everyone here has something hidden about himself, that would rather not be shared. I felt Blanche getting more and more fixated on certain things and people, and I felt helpless in the face of it.

Your life now is a testament to the will to live and make amends. I hope your holidays go well and that 07 brings even more good fortune and love into your heart and home.

posted by avant-garde on December 20, 2006 at 2:30 AM | link to this | reply

It takes a brave person to share like this

It does not drive me away, but makes me feel closer to you and I have even more respect for you. A true friend never deserts a friend. You are a true friend and I am proud to be able to read your posts

posted by Tanga on December 19, 2006 at 11:07 PM | link to this | reply

To everyone who responded to this

I can't thank you enough for your kind and loving gestures.  Many of you reduced me to tears (good tears) and I am so very grateful for all of you. 

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 8:15 PM | link to this | reply

Azur

Thank you so very much!

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 8:08 PM | link to this | reply

Bel 65

I agree with you that it is better not keep placing  our friend's name in headlines. I have always found it traumatic to be in a headline and I have faced none of the trouble that our friend has faced. IN her case, I believe it is far from helpful to be in the full glare of attention. Indeed, I think it would be great and healing if people actually deleted a few of the things said at that time. We all know what we read and it serves no purpose to leave some things for posterity, particularly when someone was not themselves. Otherwise we end up judging someone for all time on a couple of deeds carried out when they were not themselves.

You can't help being hard on yourself about what happened to you all those years ago. We don't judge you so harshly because we see the bigger picture that you have set down here over the past year or two.

It is probably quite impossible for me to understand what you have faced as my own life as been so calm in comparison. However, there is nothing that you have revealed here that makes me think a jot less of you. If anything I admire you more.

 Best to you for Christmas Bel

posted by Azur on December 19, 2006 at 8:07 PM | link to this | reply

Timmy

I am also proud to call you my friend.  thank you.

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 8:00 PM | link to this | reply

bel

Anyone who has followed you since you came here knows these things as you have given us a glimpse here and there, small pieces at a time.

I am glad that you go that out.........I love ya no matter what, I would stick by you to the end of time (without any type of payment!) and am proud that I think of you as a friend.

posted by TIMMYTALES on December 19, 2006 at 7:26 PM | link to this | reply

Naut

You are a sweetie, thank you so very much.

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 6:36 PM | link to this | reply

Dear bel,

It is obvious that you have been through a lot, but it is also obvious to me that you are coping very well!

As far as I am concerned, you're a wonderful lady! I started reading your posts because I thought you wrote well! Then I discovered that you also have a tremendous love, sense of devotion and loyalty for your husband and his daughter, who has become yours, and if there's one thing I admire it's devotion and loyalty! (That's two things, but we'll let it go, lol.)

Anyone who is put out by this post in the slightest is a fool, and I sincerely hope there aren't any! I shall simply continue holding you in the highest regard, and shall continue enjoying your posts. And while I am at it, and even though you tend to be a bit 'scrooge-ish', I shall wish you, Carl and Pam a ver Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!   

 

posted by Nautikos on December 19, 2006 at 6:24 PM | link to this | reply

Corbin

you are a true gentleman, thank you so much.

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 4:41 PM | link to this | reply

Pat

Thank you so very much for your kind words.

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 4:40 PM | link to this | reply

bel.....

it take a strong will to live through all that and to tell your story here.....I hope you feel you can contact me anytime you need to bend an ear.....God Bless.

posted by Corbin_Dallas on December 19, 2006 at 3:59 PM | link to this | reply

Nicely told, powerful story! I've had some similar experiences...

and it seems you've proven that saying: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Your heart is in the absolute right place, even if your mind sometimes goes tilt because of mindless meanness from others. If such petty stuff didn't bug you, you'd have reason to worry. Thanks for this posting, and take care. :)

posted by Pat_B on December 19, 2006 at 1:26 PM | link to this | reply

Thank you!!!

OK now that we have clarified the inlaws are in NJ...tell your husband his parents need you all to be much closer!

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 1:02 PM | link to this | reply

Both parents in law in NJ, they are very supportive people & I'm lucky to

have them.

I really am very happy to see the success you've made after all that crap in the past, to me, success isn't measured in what you've got, but who you are and being loved for it.

posted by CringeintheUSA on December 19, 2006 at 1:01 PM | link to this | reply

Also

Tell you husband you want to live near your mother in law (PLEASE tell me she is in the US LOL)

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 12:56 PM | link to this | reply

LOL I am quite sure our children are convinced that we are all part of a

cult!  Mother's united to make their lives miserable!  Let's face it we all share basic rules.  No you can't carry the cat by it's tail and you most certainly may not flush it down the toilet (do they call that the loo in Ireland), no you can't date the biggest jerk in school and YES it is my way not your way LOL!

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 12:55 PM | link to this | reply

I agree, best thing we can do as parents, is not be like our own ones

if they've accounted for so much sadness in our own lives.

I wish I could clone my mother in law, she's a dote (sweetheart).

posted by CringeintheUSA on December 19, 2006 at 12:53 PM | link to this | reply

Sounds like my neck of the woods.

I don't feel a tad guilty now for wishing my mother joined a cult, I'm sure she'd have loads of international company.

posted by CringeintheUSA on December 19, 2006 at 12:51 PM | link to this | reply

Whinge almost forgot

I don't live in anything resembling the suburbs either LOL!  I live in a place that the cows outnumber the people!  LOL!

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 12:35 PM | link to this | reply

Whinge

You made such an important statement here:  the responsibility of being a parent.  We owe it to our next generation NOT to pass on the hell and the terror of our own.  If I am able to give my daughter a safe and loving enviroment and the self confidence to take on whatever comes her way then I will have made a difference in this world that matters.

You are a dear, dear lady...just bring some of that humor with you next time OK?

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 12:33 PM | link to this | reply

My dearest Wiley

That chalice I know without a doubt would be one of her most treasured possessions.  Love comes in many forms and I know of your chalices, that my dearest friend is love.

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 12:31 PM | link to this | reply

Sorry, I didn't put that across well at all, that was no time for me to put

humour in there, I'm just shocked by how much that's happened to you and what you've had to deal with.

I just think you're being very courageous, but then you've come through a lot.

posted by CringeintheUSA on December 19, 2006 at 12:27 PM | link to this | reply

Jesus Bel, fair dues.

I just thought you were a suburban housewife?

What a bloody journey, you've obviously weathered it, I didn't detect too much in the way of baggage from you so you've hidden that very well.  Not that I'm claiming to be some sort of expert mind you, just usually I pick up a little on these things.

Well done on being who you are, well done on saying what you've said, I'm proud to know you even more, and even happier to know you've overcome so much and are at the other side of it.

Cripes, I'm just thinking about the responsibility involved in being a parent, and the extent to which some people do it so badly. I'm sorry, I had no idea.

posted by CringeintheUSA on December 19, 2006 at 12:23 PM | link to this | reply

My bel 1965

I say 'my' bel in the sense that my heart hears  you, cry's with you and I feel I know you like a family member luv.

Of course you know we have a lot in common, including the sound of steel bars clanging closed behind us by times in life.

Yes, well there are worse things than jail, mental illness and alcoholism or addictions.

One of those worse things would be to judge an other over their reactions to great stress or mental storms.

That person was like family to me as well, and maybe one day that chalice I made will give  him/her the peace and love I prayed into that work, with them in mind.

Ahhh, bless your heart luv, you are a fine and lovely lady with a grand spirit, luv ya.

posted by WileyJohn on December 19, 2006 at 12:20 PM | link to this | reply

Mrs. T

You are such a lovely soul!  Thank you so much.

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 11:47 AM | link to this | reply

Dear Bel, First of all I am so sorry for all the pain and suffering you had

to go through in your life... I will definately not say I know how you feel because that is the worst thing to say... I can just imagine!  It is great to hear you became a stronger person and better for everything you had to endure.  IT must have taken great courage to write this post and I admire that.  Justi has said it so well... be blessed and God has His hand over you I am sure.  Thanks for sharing this very personal part of your life.  Take care!  

Mrs T

posted by Tanga on December 19, 2006 at 11:35 AM | link to this | reply

Katray

Thank you so very much.  You have always been a ray of light around here and it's very much appreciated.

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 11:30 AM | link to this | reply

Your strength and courage in sharing this are amazing Bel

Pain felt for the little girl; deepest admiration for the person triumphing through it all. You are an inspiration dear Lady! Yes, we all have demons that can wrest out of our control; many times over, rays of daylight will give them rest. Compassion from others a very bright shimmer indeed. Excellent, powerful post. Thank you.   

posted by Katray2 on December 19, 2006 at 11:21 AM | link to this | reply

Taps

Your mother was a very wise woman.  Thank you so much.

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 11:05 AM | link to this | reply

Bel

My Mom used to say, "Half of the world doesn't have any idea what the other half goes through."   Thank you for sharing this post.  We need to be aware that there is pain and suffering everywhere, even amongst us and that those we love may be in a continual life struggle and that there are overcomers.  

posted by TAPS. on December 19, 2006 at 11:04 AM | link to this | reply

Frankk

Thank you, I have heard good things about you.  Our friend has great courage and honestly probably much more than I will ever have!

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 10:53 AM | link to this | reply

bel 1965

Thank you so much for writing this post and I really appreciate

posted by frankk on December 19, 2006 at 10:51 AM | link to this | reply

Thank you very much Justi

I can't tell you how very much your kind words mean to me. 

posted by bel_1965 on December 19, 2006 at 10:51 AM | link to this | reply

Bel

I am so proud of you for this much progress. I would say two things one is to continue to know how important you are to so many. I am sorry for all your pain, but you are not a mess, not disfunctional, not anything less than a blessing just because you have bumps and lumps. Sometimes God allows incredibly bad things to happen to people to prepare his future employees to know better how to perform in their called field. You have no idea where all he will use you. I see him doing it right now. God makes no Junk....... I am proud you are on here. Be blessed. Thanks for sharing this with us.

posted by Justi on December 19, 2006 at 10:46 AM | link to this | reply