Comments on Fear Of Failure; Fear Of Success

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bel--
I'm coming late to your party again...lol. But I think it's really sad when we let fear control what we do or don't do...sadder to not try at all for fear of failing, than to try but not succeed.

posted by Julia. on December 5, 2006 at 9:59 PM | link to this | reply

Corbin

thank you very much.  Carl thinks I am nuts when I get like this; of course he is biased and thinks I am the worlds greatest writer LOL!

I know where the fear comes from, years of conditioning sometimes takes time to get past.

posted by bel_1965 on December 5, 2006 at 8:00 PM | link to this | reply

Bel
Do you talk to Carl about this?   If so, ask Carl about fear....then decide if yours is real or perceived? 

You've got a whole family here rooting for you!  Using fear as an excuse is the easy way and what I have read in your collection of posts is that you don't look for the easy path!  You drop that line of thought and approach it as you have so marvelously done when Carl was in Iraq, the problems with your daughter, the battles with the ex....You do that....and you'll do just fine.

posted by Corbin_Dallas on December 5, 2006 at 7:57 PM | link to this | reply

I'm trying Joe. Thank you so much.
But what I am dreaming about that moment is snoring away in the next room LOL!

posted by bel_1965 on December 5, 2006 at 7:50 PM | link to this | reply

Wifey, Dear . . . ,
If some big company likes your story. . , they'll figure out how to make it better.  Put your words down in a journal and write.  Cause, that's what you're dreaming about.

posted by Joe_Love on December 5, 2006 at 7:48 PM | link to this | reply

Thanks so much Nana

posted by bel_1965 on December 5, 2006 at 10:33 AM | link to this | reply

bel
Sannet put it so nicely!  My comment is that I've found that in dealing with that kind of paralizing fear, it helps to just do something very small to start with- take a tiny step towards what you want and then see how that works out before you do another step... a cautious approach but it works for me.

posted by Nanaroo on December 5, 2006 at 9:33 AM | link to this | reply

Sannhet
What a wonderful way to look at things!

posted by bel_1965 on December 5, 2006 at 8:28 AM | link to this | reply

Bel -
Welcome to the world of the writer! When I was writing for a living, and getting paid really well to do it, I never believed I was that good - that I was fooling everyone. Then one day I just decided that it didn't really matter what I thought - or anyone else for that matter. I write for me. If others enjoy it, it just makes it that much better. And if I make a little money along the way, it's even better!

posted by sannhet on December 5, 2006 at 7:49 AM | link to this | reply

You do have a point there LOL!

posted by bel_1965 on December 5, 2006 at 7:08 AM | link to this | reply

although have you seen Sinead O'Connor with hair?
i liked her better bald

posted by ladychardonnay on December 5, 2006 at 7:04 AM | link to this | reply

Yeah that style just doesn't work well for most women

posted by bel_1965 on December 5, 2006 at 7:03 AM | link to this | reply

yeah - i wasn't quite ready to look like Mr. Clean just yet

posted by ladychardonnay on December 5, 2006 at 7:00 AM | link to this | reply

i agree passion - life is too short not to try
just like this site - some people write with such big words i don't know what the hell they are saying so i don't read it - then someone else can just express a feeling and i love it.  people like different things - someone will read you - give us a chance and most important - GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE - someone will read it.

posted by ladychardonnay on December 5, 2006 at 6:59 AM | link to this | reply

You are right about that Passion!

posted by bel_1965 on December 5, 2006 at 6:56 AM | link to this | reply

Oh my Lady
good reason to get out!

posted by bel_1965 on December 5, 2006 at 6:56 AM | link to this | reply

NO matter what we're talking about, whether it's writing

Or bowling, or playing piano...anyone can learn it and anyone can be good at it. That's just a human thing. We have the ability to learn things and become really good at them.

It doesn't matter whether you're a really good writer right now or not. If you have stories running around in your head, then write them down, work on them, flesh out your characters.

Study articles from Writers Digest. Over time, your writing will improve if you keep working on it.

posted by Passionflower on December 5, 2006 at 6:55 AM | link to this | reply

it wasn't the challenge - it was the responsiblity and stress
i never saw my children and my hair started falling out.  being the boss isn't necessarily the best job.  i like just being the employee now - do my 8 and skate.  but don't fear failure - every moment is a success in my book.

posted by ladychardonnay on December 5, 2006 at 6:50 AM | link to this | reply

Lady
I know many people who have done that.  I sometimes wonder if once the challenge is gone, so is the desire to do whatever it was that you were doing. 

posted by bel_1965 on December 5, 2006 at 6:44 AM | link to this | reply

interesting thoughts
i rose to the top of my profession - and then realized I didn't want to be there anymore. 

posted by ladychardonnay on December 5, 2006 at 6:41 AM | link to this | reply