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Mia Ella, The best way that I know is to find someone worse off than you and do something nice and Christmassy for them. You could start by finding a Salvation Army bell ringer and put a nice crisp dollar bill in his pot and smile and wish him a Merry Christmas. Bake a little cake with a Christmas decoration for a lonely old person and take it to them and sing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" to them. Its hard to remain blue when you are doing something nice for someone else.
posted by
TAPS.
on November 19, 2006 at 8:04 AM
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Mia Ella
Time and age will turn the page
And you'll create life anew,
Because His spirit is in your heart
And you number among the few.
posted by
WileyJohn
on November 18, 2006 at 9:41 PM
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in the words of my grandmother
GO OUT AND MAKE A MEMORY - holidays are just reminders that we have or have not alot or a little bit of people in our lives. i like christmas eve - that's it. the rest are useless and make everyone sad - like valentine's day. if you don't have someone you feel like a schmuck.
posted by
ladychardonnay
on November 18, 2006 at 5:01 PM
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Miaella - don't listen to people who say look on the bright side. There is
no bright side that lasts. I think melancholy is something we have to ride out and learn to appreciate the depth of reflection it brings. That doesn't mean life is devoid of happiness. Its just fleeting. Our emotions are mentally challanged.
posted by
FreeManWalking
on November 18, 2006 at 3:49 PM
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Why? it's those unreasonable expectations...
We think this time it's going to be different. We'll be like the Cleavers this holiday. No snide comments, no bringing up old crap. But it's always the same. We can grow and change and live our own script when we're apart, but once the family gets back together, we're all who we were trying to get away from again. :)
posted by
Pat_B
on November 18, 2006 at 9:38 AM
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Mia,
consider each item and accept that it brought you some degree of pain. You know it hurt, Dear Lady; you were right there center stage in the worst of it all...
then allow this: it happened, yes, but it happened at another time of your Life...today you have the memories of the pain and you have the strength to label such things just what they are, moments of your Life now only wings given to fleeting demons...let the tail of the devil go and free yourself up for other, immediate menus embellishing the many courses of your present Life. You are a real, breathing person, not a fixture protruding from some item of personal history.
posted by
teddypoet_TheGoodByeFade
on November 18, 2006 at 9:34 AM
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Oh Mia,
There are so many reasons the holidays can be hard for us. For some, it is seasonal or manic depression. (I have seasonal, and it usually strikes this time of year.)
I hate to re-open your wounds honey, but you also lost a loved one just before the New year. My great-grandpa will have been gone eleven years this 1 January, so I know what that's like.
I want you to remember that it's okay to be sad around the holiday season. Many people would tell you to "just cheer up and get over it." Well, we can't. Just let the pain come to you and release it little by little until it's gone again.
Try to remember to be happy too, though. I know your brother wouldn't want you to stay sad. As for the regrets and mistakes, you're not alone here either. Just let go of them and know that you've learned a valuable lesson from each.
If you want to talk, please feel free to email me. I love you.
Shalom...
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on November 18, 2006 at 9:30 AM
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well, that is the million dollar question
that so many search to uncover the answer...I have no idea "how" but I always suggest free association writing, to dig deep to find out what the source of the emotion is.
posted by
Julia.
on November 18, 2006 at 8:53 AM
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