Go to CeeMarie on Feeling the Spirit
- Add a comment
- Go to Is God a Delusion?
Amen to that, Factor-
It was his idea and he says now how deeply ashamed he is of his behavior; to me, that is denial that he has any responsibility. He was half of this romance and now I cause him comtempt and disgust because I took longer to get over him because he wanted me to trust him; to love him; and I did. Not fair that he can tromp all over me and then repute me but that's why, girls, we should not ever look twice at a married man, no matter how sick the marriage is, both parties need to be free before. . . but then we were old lovers, and by the second email, we were hooked. Again. After 29 years. Sorta like crack. It's the real reason behind his total revulsion of 'us' now. I stayed addicted longer than he did therefore I am mentally ill. I almost wonder if the old "spy," (i.e. his wife, was doing more on top of what I was doing?) I used to call to hear his voice, and he changed his message to say, "If this has to do with business, leave a message. If it doesn't have to do with business do NOT leave a message." I NEVER left a message but I did call and listen and then hang up immediately. If he was going home complaining that I was stalking him, might someone who had spied on us before that caused the breakup have mailed him letters with no return addresses postmarked from Kansas, (which I did send ONE time; I mailed him a card from Boston and one from St. Louis). He said each time he had to shred a letter, unopened, his contempt and disgust for me grew. Three letters in 7 months constitutes stalking? So it makes one wonder if the "old spy" wasn't still up to twisting "the knife." I will never have a chance to plead my case. Not in this lifetime. Not fair, but then, "the knife" finally cut the tie I felt for good. Thank God! I wasn't even close to fifty, but ways to get your lover to hate you -- I managed that. (50 ways to leave your lover) <sigh>
Sorry to be so wordy these days!
Cee 
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on October 27, 2006 at 3:06 PM
| link to this | reply
Cee, I will have to read it a little later,
but I sure will have to read that one! It is odd how people can warp their own beliefs to avoid responsibility for anything...
posted by
FactorFiction
on October 27, 2006 at 9:39 AM
| link to this | reply
factor-
If you can stomach one more of my Mike stories, read the one on the Book is Closed on Mike. He burned his bridges with me but good! It set me free and I cried not a tear. He ripped me apart. He was a California Cad after all, by his looking back definition. His environment led him to question his own sanity and to decide HE had been deluded, and therefore I STILL was and to stay away from him and leave him alone because he had his head on straight now, yada yada yada. All I can do is say he's the biggest loser in this whole last year ('05) of our lives. I will never deny that God was speaking to him, through me, through us --he asked ME to be a spiritual mentor! I wasn't sure I was ready to open my beliefs up to be ridiculed and he said, "Oh, no, no, I'd never do that! trust me...." and he has told me NOW how deluded we were.... how sad, how sad I find that.... HE was the one who said to me over and over, "trust me, Carole" and then he jerks the rug out from under me after I do trust in him, and now says he never never never wants to see or hear from me again, I was the biggest mistake in his life, I almost ruined his life, to GO AWAY, LEAVE HIM ALONE.... (he doesn't care what he did to THIS woman's heart and life , this woman he convinced to trust him, who did nothing but just love him) but how he hurt his wife; he didn't think of that before or all the hurt she'd laid on him for years on end!) but (here's the best part) I stayed with my man who loved me, helped me get over being in love with another, (IF can you imagine -- my sister asked Where did you Find HIM??), because he said he'd prove to be the bigger, stronger man who loved me best and he proved it. He has never insisted it was a tawdry affair or that he questioned if I love him now; none of the traditional guilt traps mates usually lay on we infidels (like he was led to believe about us in CA). I'm sticking with my delusions. My "delusional" husband is the best part of being "nuts!" He's the stronger, the better man and he does love me. He never once kicked me to the curb. Love, unconditional, with NO guilt trips, NO ironclad rules, believing that if we've made it this far we're meant by God to be the ones to stay together. I had to go through a grieving process to fall out of love and the process is over. It took a year but I am SO over and done with it. I will hang on to the fond memories but I won't moon over them- no mo! I'm reading the newest Sylvia Browne book which must feed my "delusions." I would never have imagined the CA Cad to be a gray soul, but they are the most impressionable and are led to the dark side more than the light side, and they are the seducers. If I was deluded it was from HIM! Never God! His wife is an avowed atheist. He's lost his way. So those dark ones can have him. Ooh, too halloweeny - he WAS a weiny, too! There, aren't you glad you asked?? (not?? lol 
)
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on October 27, 2006 at 9:23 AM
| link to this | reply
hehe you are deluded?
I missed that...who thinks you are deluded? I don't
Ah well. Some people like to ignore what is given them. You can lead a horse to water, but...
posted by
FactorFiction
on October 27, 2006 at 7:27 AM
| link to this | reply
star4you-
Another wonderfully deluded believer! Amen 4 U!!
Namaste!
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on October 23, 2006 at 10:42 AM
| link to this | reply
Neil-
Great gift! A crown & almost thought one of those crowns was to be mine last night. We were both ill. Jay has a terrible flu bug and I got a pain from my heart like my mother used to get in anginia attacks. It felt like it was being squeezed after the sharp pains. The "event" eventually subsided. Thought I might go to sleep and wake up "over there." I went thru a time period in my life where I was too busy to
pay God quality attention. I regret the time I missed with Him. Namaste, Neil!
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on October 23, 2006 at 10:37 AM
| link to this | reply
god is real.
posted by
star4sky5
on October 22, 2006 at 6:57 PM
| link to this | reply
Ceemarie, go with your instincts.We love doctors & their treatment; God is
good therapy, if doubts remain for us. What is wrong with joining the majority of the world in giving Praise, Thanks, and Alelujahs. We celebrate politicans and then send them to jail when we know it all. At least God is safer than leaders & politicians. I have doubts, never about Jesus the Christ, but doubt is an integral and noursihing part of any Faith Tradition. Just read Saint Augustine of Hippo, even our Founding Fathers like Franklin & Jefferson. They acknowledged ETHICS are never enough, but they also seemed to say "all God-talk in statecraft is also not enough" and that may be because we HUMANS do the interpretation. Here's R crown
shalom from Neil. Loving regards to Jay (& thanks for the photo)
posted by
ILLUMINATI8
on October 22, 2006 at 11:17 AM
| link to this | reply
CeeMarie
A good post on receiving the messages from God. You have given the example of Shaw's St. Joan. Perhaps you would like to read one post I gave earlier. Please click here
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on October 22, 2006 at 9:56 AM
| link to this | reply
Nature-
Unbelievable! I wouldn't doubt he read it! The psych my daughter sees is an atheist and they get into these "discussions" and my daughter just laughs at him! I must have done something right! She talks to God as the Goddess and whereas I am traditional, "He," she says "She." She's had contact with Her and felt Her touch. That is an indescribable experience. I have felt God's stroke and such comfort is impossible to describe.
So the experience Mike had is discounted as a "delusion," I guess. He said "he's come to his senses." I told him he had lost his way! Sylvia Browne would say that those that could be so swayed either way are the gray souls. He could be married to a dark one whose goal is to recruit away from the light (me!). Sounds like Starwars I know! But I have not made one move to contact him further nor will I. His letter came from the Amygdala of his brain, the childlike temper center (road rage center). I am glad I did NOT respond in kind.
I am pretty sure I got a reply yesterday. It said "Thank you." It was third in a thread to a group I did not subscribe to and it's a noreply message. So maybe, who knows. I only have emailed him from this site. I just know I'm well again. Hallelujah and PTL!
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on October 22, 2006 at 9:31 AM
| link to this | reply
Amen to that!!!
My Ex put up a video clip of this guy that wrote a book,
The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins and I have to say I think he did that just to piss me off! Well, I'm not exactly sure if that's why he did it, but it almost seemed like that was the reason. He knows I believe in God very much and that he is NO delusion!!! His video clip was very hard to watch because this guy is trying to make people who can't make up their minds become aethiests! I think that's such an awful thing but what are you gonna do? Anyway, I agree with you!!! Kudos!
posted by
naturechic
on October 21, 2006 at 7:58 PM
| link to this | reply
Janet -
Another wonderfully deluded faithful!! Isn't it wonderful when you get it? Good to hear from you! Thank you so much for coming by and leaving me a comment!
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on October 21, 2006 at 7:26 PM
| link to this | reply
Troosha-
Great illustration of when best to listen. No wonder I've always liked a walk on the beach! Thanks for stopping by! Appreciate the fine comment.
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on October 21, 2006 at 7:22 PM
| link to this | reply
typo - I meant "hit by a boulder" sorry
posted by
Troosha
on October 21, 2006 at 1:53 PM
| link to this | reply
Most of us are guilty of not "listening"
It has been said that sometimes a message comes to you like a grain of sand. If not heard, it becomes a pebble. If still ignored, it becomes a stone and finally, if we're still not paying attention we're it by a boulder. Best to listen for the sand.....
posted by
Troosha
on October 21, 2006 at 1:52 PM
| link to this | reply
great post cee!
I also do not believe in coincidences, and though I know I probably miss at least half of what God is trying to tell me, when I *really* need to know something, I think the message will get through--hearing it requires a conscious effort to pay attention, plus a belief that God speaks to us all.
posted by
Julia.
on October 21, 2006 at 11:09 AM
| link to this | reply
I will stake my life on it too!
posted by
Cindy7
on October 21, 2006 at 10:43 AM
| link to this | reply
Faholo-
Thank you for that. I am always comforted by God and you're right. Sylvia Browne said that he speaks through our spirit guides, (or your angels, some would call them) all day long but 1-3 personal times. When I was blithely walking down a path in the dark, and the word SNAKE stopped me in my tracks, that was God. I was not delusional!! My s-i-l said there are often copperheads and sometimes rattlers on the path. She takes a golf cart down the path and if she rides, puts her feet up. My s-i-l did not think I was deluded... I will never deny that God speaks to me. Burn me at the stake; I am not afraid of death! (oops, I wrote you a blog!)
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on October 21, 2006 at 8:08 AM
| link to this | reply
Great point CeeMarie!
I would say that God speaks to us many more than two or three times a day! It is not always easy to hear Him because we try to listen with our ears rather than our hearts. Keep writing and know God is an everlasting presence who loves us even in those times we forget to love Him! God bless!
faholo
posted by
faholo
on October 21, 2006 at 7:44 AM
| link to this | reply