Go to From Damn Near Hell To Almost Paradise
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bel,
you know I agree with you! But what's more important at the moment - a belated Happy Birthday!
posted by
Nautikos
on October 19, 2006 at 2:24 PM
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I'm always shocked at how thoughtless people can be at times.
And I'm so sorry for what this buffoon said to you. At least you understand human nature. God Bless you guys.
posted by
Passionflower
on October 16, 2006 at 7:35 PM
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Lisewise, Bel, I work at trying to be fair, and more than anything,
to not put my ideas ahead of people. I'm glad you feel that way.
posted by
Blanche.
on October 16, 2006 at 7:27 PM
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Schatz
I am in Livingston county! My prayers are most certainly with you and yours.
The unspoken rule of not asking among your family is actually quite normal. You understand how difficult of a subject it is and you know that if there is something to be told, you will hear.
posted by
bel_1965
on October 16, 2006 at 7:03 PM
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Well said Strickgold!
posted by
bel_1965
on October 16, 2006 at 7:01 PM
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Blanche
You of all people have never ever said anything to offend or hurt me. you are willing to listen when we have differing opinions and you are able to state your case without being combative (no pun intended). I have always had great respect for you for many reasons but this is most certainly at the top of the list.
I consider you a dear friend and I miss you when you aren't around.
posted by
bel_1965
on October 16, 2006 at 7:00 PM
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Maggie
You are right, it is not entirely behind me. That is so for many reasons:
My main group of friends are military wives. Some already have their husbands back.
I work with a non-profit group that assists the soldiers and their families.
I have people that I care deeply for over there.
Can I put it behind me? In some ways yes, in other ways, I expect it will always be a part of me. Like everyone else, I have good and bad days. Luckily these days the good are becoming more than the bad.
The things that were said to me have been said to others as well. My post yesterday was actually a response to a phone call from a friend who just went through something incredibly traumatic and her husband is currently in Iraq. Someone whom I'll give the benefit of the doubt and assume they were well intended said something that should have never been said to her and in the end she was hysterical.
It's hard to step away from something that even though it no longer directly effects me, it does effect people that are as much family to me as any blood relative.
posted by
bel_1965
on October 16, 2006 at 6:52 PM
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You know, bel, my son was in Iraq too and nobody ever said anything stupid like that to me - they are so lucky that they didn't. I would not have been too happy!
It's over for you now, you have Carl safely home. Why can't you put it behind you? Can you?
posted by
MaggieMae
on October 16, 2006 at 4:18 PM
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First off, Happy Birthday, Bel, you're a courageous, honest, warm and
wonderful woman, who has been a constant fixture in my world for a year or more. I look forward to your posts, and I appreciate the wisdom and good nature of your comments.
I saw the comment on your previous post, and I was as appalled and irritated by it as you are. The words "there is a time and place for everything" ring strongly in my mind. If this person wants to make a statement, let him or her do it in the political section. Simple courtesy, sensitivity and heart, kindness and decency, all things that a person who professes to be about spiritual enlgihtenment should know about, should tell them that, their conscience.
I hope that I have never said anything to inflict more stress and heartache on you, and that my opinions are my own, kept in another world away, from the personal heartache that you write about, which I believe and I have argued so strenuously is every blogger's right, the right to share sensitive personal information with each other, without censure, without ridicule, mockery, derision or condemnation.
I've said in almost the exact same words on a post about my past the same thing, please respect my heart, which is tender and fragile as yours must be, and refrain from making judgments that are cruel and unneccessary.
If I've ever said anything stupid and idiotic, please just shoot me, Bel. (and accept my apologies). I hope never to have caused you pain.
posted by
Blanche.
on October 16, 2006 at 3:16 PM
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Our World as we know it has changed forever
and by the sound of things its more likely to get worse before it gets better. We have to take what God gives us and make the best of those situations. Life isnt about any great secret to life its all in how we percieve it and accept what it gives us.
posted by
StrickGold
on October 16, 2006 at 3:05 PM
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I am with you 100%. I don't agree with the war going on and on and on...
but damn right I support the soldiers who separate from their loved ones, live in unimaginable situations, put their lives on the line and don't even get paid that much for it, to boot....I have two marines and one sailor in the family. I couldn't tell you how much my aunt is suffering because all three of them are her men. The reason I can't say....as a family we've decided to stop pressing her for information. I know that she won't be able to let herself feel anything until she can put her hands on her sons again. Her husband is now (I think) at year 33 with the Marines. Her oldest son is in Iraq right now, and my uncle goes back and forth. Luckily (for now), her younger son in the Navy is stationed in San Diego.
The thing is, whether they know it or not, these people who say thoughtless things are shirking a responsibility. We citizens (who the soldiers fight to defend) are indebted. We should be supporting their wives and kids (and husbands) while they are gone. It's OUR DUTY. And yeah, I know what you mean about keeping your WORD. Duh. Isn't that what it is to make a promise? LOL Most people in today's society aren't even able to see that, let alone the finer points you talk about. Have a great week!
BTW, where are you again? Oakland County?
posted by
Schatz
on October 16, 2006 at 10:28 AM
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Blackcat
No, I don't believe you ever have. For some I do realize they don't know what else to say, but some comments are intended to get a rise out of me and that is when I get seriously irriated. You have never said anything to offend me!
posted by
bel_1965
on October 16, 2006 at 9:13 AM
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Bel 1965, we will all look forward with you!
posted by
MountainClimber57
on October 16, 2006 at 9:00 AM
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I just read your previous post and it strikes me as very honest.
True that some people are stupid... but some of those questions are completely thoughtless and just plain cruel. It's not really what gets said, but how it's said that would matter to me.
Sort of reminds me of how pissed off I'd get when someone says "at least they lived a long life" to a grieving person at a funeral. Sometimes people just don't know what to say so they stick their own foot in their mouth.
No one knows what it's like to be in your shoes... but I certainly hope I've never said any of those things to you.
posted by
-blackcat
on October 16, 2006 at 8:54 AM
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MC
another 21 months and Carl will retire, I just keep looking forward!
posted by
bel_1965
on October 16, 2006 at 8:53 AM
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Bel 1965, My thoughts and prayers are with you. We just had a young
man from our Church deployed to Baghdad, Iraq. This is as close as this war has come to us!
posted by
MountainClimber57
on October 16, 2006 at 8:48 AM
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