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Cameraeye
I am still waiting
posted by
Lanetay
on October 8, 2006 at 5:42 PM
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ladychardonnay
that was 22 years ago and he finally left and got married. I have basically raised 3 kids alone, the last one definatley alone. I am almost 63 and been single for 22 years
posted by
Lanetay
on October 8, 2006 at 5:41 PM
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Love lost
Ah lassie, love is blind and that makes a lot of folks stumble. Keep praying for the right one.
Lou
posted by
Cameraeye
on October 8, 2006 at 5:13 PM
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i don't know how old you and he are
but seldom do people change after 30. gather up all of the strength you have within and leave the bastard - there is no reason for you to tolerate this behavior. sure you made the vows thinking that he would hold up his end of the partnership. but HE DIDN'T - YOU DID. i have lived alone and been a single parent many times and i would be lying if i said it was easy. but i could sleep at night with dignity. it is better to be alone than with someone who is causing you constant negative pain and suffering. you gave the marriage your vow - he didn't. just move on and hold your head high. no one will think any less of you if you separate or get divorced. positive thinking and healthy living are the keys to a good life.
posted by
ladychardonnay
on October 8, 2006 at 4:47 PM
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ladychardonnay
I didnt stay because I wanted to but I was afraid to do anything else as I had never worked while we were married, it was forced on my by the divorce judge to get a job. I hope he would stop chasing skirts but that is like hoping he would stop drinking
posted by
Lanetay
on October 8, 2006 at 4:39 PM
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til death do us part just doesn't happen these days
back when i was a kid there was this woman who was beaten repeatedly by her husband on a daily basis. my mother would throw bridge parties and this woman in the neighborhood was never allowed to come. my mother told me later in life that she stole coin change from his pockets every night and saved up enough so that one day she could run away. she died with $200 some change. the point is - you don't stay together for the children / for the house / for the posssesions / because you're afraid of being alone / YOU STAY BECAUSE YOU WANT TO. if you feel the need to exchange vows that is your business - i just do not think it is necessary. that is just one woman's opinion.
posted by
ladychardonnay
on October 8, 2006 at 4:34 PM
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OFFBEATS
true they forgot how to work at it
posted by
Lanetay
on October 8, 2006 at 3:42 PM
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lilane
Nothing is like it was in parents day...Nothing is sure as change and marriage is no different. People marry for different reasons these days and sure enough they divorce for different ones too...sad, but true...
posted by
Offy
on October 8, 2006 at 3:38 PM
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saul_relative
You hit the nail on the head, its not like the kids do go steady its the real honest to God thing.
posted by
Lanetay
on October 8, 2006 at 3:34 PM
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Horses and carriages can operate quite well alone. Ever heard of a
horseless carriage? And we've all seen carriageless horses. The problem with 'true' love and 'real' and 'lasting relationships' is that they're hard work. Today's laid back, MTV-attention-spanned individual's want something easy and effortless, some good sex, and someone to pal around with. No work. If you have to work at it, you might as well divorce, find a new 'true' love.
posted by
saul_relative
on October 8, 2006 at 3:31 PM
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ariel70
what's wrong in just being in the reality of life? Is it too harsh to handle without being in a stupor of some kind?
posted by
Lanetay
on October 8, 2006 at 3:18 PM
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lust
True. All the interesting characters are either dead, banned, drunk, in a drugged stupor, gay or barred from Blogit.
Ariel sighs. Deeply.
posted by
ariel70
on October 8, 2006 at 3:13 PM
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ariel70
but he would be out lawed in today's society
posted by
Lanetay
on October 8, 2006 at 3:11 PM
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ladychardonnay
but where is the commitment in short lasting marriages?
posted by
Lanetay
on October 8, 2006 at 3:10 PM
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lust,lady et al
Pity Henry VIII ain't around ; woulda had a ball with his comments!
el tel
posted by
ariel70
on October 8, 2006 at 2:59 PM
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i was married 3 times
1) lasted one year 2) lasted 8 years 3) 14 years - they definitely weren't sleepovers.
posted by
ladychardonnay
on October 8, 2006 at 2:51 PM
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ariel70
posted by
Lanetay
on October 8, 2006 at 2:50 PM
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lust
I couldn't agree more!
posted by
ariel70
on October 8, 2006 at 2:49 PM
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ariel70
marriage should be a long time commitment, and not just a sleep over
posted by
Lanetay
on October 8, 2006 at 2:47 PM
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ladychardonnay
it just seems that a relationship means more if you have the paper, it cost a lot to get divorced and without the paper the one can just leave out the door and not think about it first. I have only been married one time and that was over 40 years ago and been single for 22 years.
posted by
Lanetay
on October 8, 2006 at 2:46 PM
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think about what? leaving?
i have been through both - paper and no-paper. no-paper works. just for me - not for the whole world. my son was a virgin until he was 25 and married because of his religious beliefs. imagine that coming from this kind of mother. i always told him if you buy a car you would want to take it for a test drive right? he would just laugh and say that he was waiting. he got married last year and i love his wife. everyone is different - but to me - the marriage certificate means ownership.
posted by
ladychardonnay
on October 8, 2006 at 2:41 PM
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lust
How very true! WE become more avaricious, more shallow and callow, and more intellectually and morally squalid with every year that passes.
I guess, it was always like this to a certain extent, but at least people were more discret about it, and certainly didn't make a virtue of being greedy, autolotrous and immoral.
Time was people were ashamed of being a harlot or an ignorant oaf ; now they make a living, and are worshipped for it.
posted by
ariel70
on October 8, 2006 at 2:40 PM
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ladychardonnay
but without that paper its easier to get out of the commitment and makes you think more
posted by
Lanetay
on October 8, 2006 at 2:37 PM
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ariel70
materialistic is the name of the game, what can you give me?
posted by
Lanetay
on October 8, 2006 at 2:36 PM
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it should be called "love and commitment"
a piece of paper has nothing to do with it.
posted by
ladychardonnay
on October 8, 2006 at 2:34 PM
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lustorlove
I did have my tongue slightly in my cheek, when I accused you of cynicism.
The reasons why marriages tend to last so much shorter than they used to are highly complex, but I'm sure that increasingly unattainable aspirations are the main cause.
Get fed up ; trade you spouse in for a newer, flashier model. We are destroying our human status, and replacing it with that of machines, or other consumer items. Very sad.
posted by
ariel70
on October 8, 2006 at 2:31 PM
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ariel70
Its the marriage that took place in the 60's that are longer lasting in my mind as we saw our parents get through many tribulations and hang in there. My parents would of been married about 65 years if my dad hadn't passed away at age 70, but they made it to 50 years, I am not cynical just see it so much in the young. My marriage lasted 20 years.
posted by
Lanetay
on October 8, 2006 at 2:24 PM
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lustorlove
Some of us haven't. We still have it spades ; in my case after 37 years.
Lady Ariela doesn't control me, and the very notion of my exercising any control over here is utter anathema to me ; as I remarked earlier in another comment section, true love liberates, not enslaves.
However, lady Ariela has almost total control over our domestic affairs, for our marriage is a success, because we both do what we do best, and have complementary strengths and weaknesses.
You are too cynical by half. Well ... let's say a quarter LOL
el Tel
posted by
ariel70
on October 8, 2006 at 2:17 PM
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