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Lustorlove,
I have just learned to finally love myself more than I love somebody else, and to think ahead with a plan, and that did not happen overnight. If things would have gone differently for me when I was in my 20's who knows where I would be today with how many ex husbands, and how many children.
I like being the queen!
posted by
Moxie_Maven
on October 8, 2006 at 1:31 PM
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Passionflower
I know it was stupid of me to think he would change
posted by
Lanetay
on October 7, 2006 at 8:40 PM
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Not when someone in the marriage is a perpetual cheater.
People like that rarely recover to the extent that they can have stable marriages.
posted by
Passionflower
on October 7, 2006 at 8:30 PM
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Moxie_Maven
I stayed in a marriage as I loved the man but he kept doing these kinds of things and then promise not to do it again, but again he would do it. We made it to 20 years, and I had another child out of wedlock and I am sure I havent set an example for her, but things happen like that.
posted by
Lanetay
on October 7, 2006 at 6:31 PM
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Every situation is unique, lustorlove. I have just avoided putting myself in a situation that I have not been 95% sure of, especially with the possibility of bringing children into the world. So many siblings are only halves because adults didn't think ahead, or think things through.
posted by
Moxie_Maven
on October 7, 2006 at 6:13 PM
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Moxie_Maven
well with the last one the oldest child a boy (16) knew what was up but his sister (10) I dont think so. That was 22 years ago and their dad is in the state of WA and there isnt really a close connection with either of them. Its sad when it affects the kids that way
posted by
Lanetay
on October 7, 2006 at 5:56 PM
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Like I said, there are a number of different factors
that come into play. Some people are married purely for appearances, or for business, or whatever other reason. If I had children I still would not stay in a marriage of deceit, disrespect, and cheating. That would be a terribly poor example for children to learn from. That is my opinion, from my experiences as a child and growing into adulthood.
posted by
Moxie_Maven
on October 7, 2006 at 5:02 PM
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Moxie_Maven
maybe it depends if your married with kids if you try to get over the cheating ways
posted by
Lanetay
on October 7, 2006 at 4:47 PM
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Hmmmm, Lustorlove, I don't know
Wouldn't that depend on numerous different possible factors? For me it would depend on the outsider's position in the relationship, if it is purely physical or whether there is an affair of the heart going on, if it's just one chance encounter between strangers in passing that meant nothing, or if it's been a friendship-evolution, etc.
Never being married I can only speak from my experience in relationships. I never have and never will tolerate cheating. Once cheated on, my respect for the cheater is gone, and I can not be involved in a relationship with someone I have no respect for. Since the trust has been destroyed, what is the point? I can not love someone I have no trust and respect with. The end.
posted by
Moxie_Maven
on October 7, 2006 at 3:19 PM
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OFFBEATS
mine survived after two of the three but by then he was out of love with me and in love with her, it was goodbye forever
posted by
Lanetay
on October 7, 2006 at 3:01 PM
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Lilane
Yes a marriage can survive infidelity but it takes a lot of work on both sides. Sometimes the trust can never be regained despite both parties wanting it so...
posted by
Offy
on October 7, 2006 at 2:53 PM
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AbsolutelyPositive
you are right
posted by
Lanetay
on October 7, 2006 at 9:23 AM
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I think you are better off without your cheating husband
Every marriage is different, but it is a commitment and there should be loyalty and trust between husband and wife.
posted by
AbsolutelyPositive
on October 7, 2006 at 9:19 AM
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