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Hi. I hope I'll never go trough such horrible experiences. I'm in love my wife and it is mutual. We are married "only" 8 years ago, and started to seeing each other 10 years ago. There were mistakes on both sied, but nothing affected our love for each other, and we're both sure that our marriage will last till one of us die.
posted by
Brian76
on September 25, 2007 at 2:35 PM
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dearest Factor -
Your comments made my day. I've definitely had my days of anger mixed in with the remorse. The letter I wrote but did not post may be my next post based on your comment. One day, I woke up at 4:00 a.m. angry as hell at Mike and when I wrote this F*** O** letter, I was still mad. I labeled it as my scathing goodbye letter. (for me it was scathing! lol) I ought as well publish it, because he doesn't read my blogs anyway and I assume anything else I've tried to get through to him when I have tried to contact him. I guess if he's paying a marriage counselor he's going to do what they say. I spent the night rereading articles on infidelity recovery and one after the other says it is imperative to break contact and to ignore the other one, set up blocks, change jobs or move away if necessary if you're serious about being over with your consort. Our romance has been dissected and made to fit the mold, I can tell by the language he used after it was over... along with my becoming a "sordid and secretive" part of his life, (he said "furtive") and I can see it all over the literature. They are following the schedule and the rules to a tee, including where they fall in love again. He's a psychologist PhD, so I would expect this of him with her; to be very left-brained, organized and by the book. And if we continue to communicate in any way, our love is still there and we both know it would start up again. According to the recovery rules for THEM, he has to treat me like a piece of shit. It's in all the books, unfortunately.
Jay asked me the other night if Mike called and offered himself to me again, would I go? I honestly said I'd asked myself the same question (although I am 99% sure it will never happen) and I said I couldn't go unless I was free to go; I would never put him through that again. And Mike won't be the cause of our divorcing. If that ever happened, it would be all of the other things that can go wrong. I am officially out of the game with Mike until death us do part, heaven forbid, but it will only be when God calls on each of us one of these days and says , "Job well done, good and faithful servant. It's time to come home with me now." If I'm a widow, then I will be free. If Mike's a widower at the same time, is the only way we will ever see each other ever again. But it's doubtful, considering MY health situations.
Thanks for your honest comments and cute little emoticon characters (I can't do those since I have an iMac. Maybe when I get to upgrade to the Intel-iMacs....)
Cee 
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on October 6, 2006 at 12:07 PM
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Maggie-
All right, Maggie, your turn. I'm not sure you got the right impression from my post. I advised this young lady not to think about her ex-first love and told her how my relationship had gone with a past love -- that's what failed. Mike has successfully ignored me since March 30th. Jay and I are rebuilding our marriage and in face of financial failure, we are working together as never before. He is the love I AM giving my all to; he's stuck with me through my boyfriend, my PD, my cancer -- unlike Mike. However, I've got to get through this time of mourning for the loss I incurred. I haven't been depressed enough to take an antidepressant. But I've had some blue days, which are becoming less and less as Mike sticks to his ignoring me. Generally, I'm bright and chipper with moments of sorrow. Jay and I will make it; we've survived everything else together. Thanks for reading my post, Maggie!!
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on October 6, 2006 at 11:14 AM
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Neil-
Thank you for the flowers. You always make such a lovely gesture and always it is appreciated. Thank you for you loyal readership! It sounds like I made a difference in this young lady's attitude about her fantacizing with fire. She'll just get burnt -- so I taught something, from my bitter experience.Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on October 6, 2006 at 10:56 AM
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Afzal-
Thanks for your interesting analysis. That's what it was, all right. The young lady picked my answer as "best answer" and I may have helped her besides.
She said: " What you said made total sense to me..Thanks for that, you've made me think deeply about what I'm doing!!!" My mistake might help someone else from doing the same thing.
Cee 
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on October 6, 2006 at 10:38 AM
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Ah, Cee,
I think you need to get angry. The man really jerked you around. He took advantage of your state of mind as you battled an incurable chronic disease as well as a potentially fatal one. He _used_ you because he was unhappy in his marriage. 
At a time when you needed support and love, he facilitated the loss of your biggest sources. This is not fair! It's not love! He's not worth your emotional pain, Cee! It makes _me_ mad knowing that someone would call himself, a friend, much less a love, and knowingly do this to someone in your position!
I am sorry if I stepped over the line here. You can be pissed at me too. But really, he took advantage of you to make himself feel bettter. You made him feel loveable, desirable, etc again and then he took it and ran. Okay I'll shut up now. I should probably not even post this comment but I have bluntly stated many a thing in my life. 
posted by
FactorFiction
on October 6, 2006 at 7:24 AM
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Oh, Cee. I'm sorry you're unhappy. I thought you had successfully broken off the relaltionship with Mike and were rebuilding your marriage with Jay. I'm sorry it isn't working out for you. It must be very hard. My thoughts are with you.
posted by
MaggieMae
on October 6, 2006 at 4:21 AM
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posted by
ILLUMINATI8
on October 5, 2006 at 4:23 PM
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Indepth study of broken love relationships.
posted by
afzal50
on October 5, 2006 at 8:06 AM
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