Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
- Add a comment
- Go to Do soul-baring, deeply personal posts make you uncomfortable?
Julia, why do you think I call myself Cringe?
Very often though, I think our culture has evolved to a point that if you're confessional about everything, you're somehow absolved of a certain amount of the responsibility for your actions, at least that's the way it comes across on Oprah or these other talkshows.
Regrettably, I've found that people sometimes seem supportive because of the drama factor involved in someone else's soul-baring, it's all good in the moment! When that's passed then you're dismissed as just a bit daft, and your credibility is called in to question based on that any time you make a point etc....
Sorry to sound a bit jaded, I think Blanche can say the same.
posted by
Cringe
on September 15, 2006 at 2:16 PM
| link to this | reply
Julia
I simply think it important that the post gets written, that takes courage, and I'm a leaver of roses all the time. It's kind of my joy at having friends with hearts on here like yours luv
posted by
WileyJohn
on September 15, 2006 at 9:26 AM
| link to this | reply
Honesty can be uncomfortable, sure.
But that's not necessarily bad. That just means that some part of you feels empathy.
As to comments, I think most people worry about saying the wrong thing or worse, making a comment that gets misunderstood.
In those moments, when the words just won't arrange themselves correctly, the icons - or as someone recently refeerred to them, "silent hugs" -- can work wonders.
posted by
strat
on September 15, 2006 at 8:15 AM
| link to this | reply
Julia
The soul-baring posts, I think should never leave one uncomfortable, or should be gone left uncommented, because it hurts the writer that no one was there to share, though nothing can be done except leave a word that you care. Leave a rose, if nothing else. Yes you are right.
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on September 15, 2006 at 7:58 AM
| link to this | reply
To Talion from Kidnykid
Sometimes, keeping silent is the correct approach. Abraham Lincoln is sometimes quoted as saying: "It is better to remain silent, and be thought a fool, than to speak up and remove all doubt." Therefore, your approach to commenting on these kinds of posts is appropriate.
Time for me to take Lincoln's advice!
posted by
kidnykid
on September 15, 2006 at 6:48 AM
| link to this | reply
Julia - I get more unique page views when I discuss deeply personal material. The news stuff gets largely ignored. I rather like that, and this phenomenon may explain why you're number one right now in the Top Blogs.
posted by
kidnykid
on September 15, 2006 at 6:45 AM
| link to this | reply
Julia
I wonder how often people leave comments in general, and what motivates them. I agree that it is hard to say the wrong thing unless your intent is to cause harm.
posted by
Artifact
on September 15, 2006 at 6:33 AM
| link to this | reply
You are so right....
I would leave a comment because at the end of the day that person putting himself all out there needs reassuring, comfort or support from the outside world.
Mrs Tanga
posted by
Tanga
on September 15, 2006 at 3:44 AM
| link to this | reply
Well said
posted by
Tanga
on September 15, 2006 at 12:51 AM
| link to this | reply
I'm like that too...except I'd rather loose a few more
Pounds before I let you see my "soft underbelly"...LOL!
posted by
Passionflower
on September 14, 2006 at 9:29 PM
| link to this | reply
I know what you mean...Sometimes you just don't now what to say.
posted by
Whacky
on September 14, 2006 at 8:56 PM
| link to this | reply
Julia….I always want to hear what people have to say,
be it in agreement with my post or in disagreement. Comments of any type are a great delight to me!
posted by
telemachus
on September 14, 2006 at 6:28 PM
| link to this | reply
Excellent insights and post Julia
I regard such comments as virtual hugs and hugs can be given with silent voice.
posted by
Katray2
on September 14, 2006 at 5:19 PM
| link to this | reply
Julia, sometimes I read a post and want to say something but for the life of me can't think of what to say that would express my feelings in the appropriate way, so I go away without saying anything at all. This doesn't happen often, but it does happen.
posted by
TAPS.
on September 14, 2006 at 5:15 PM
| link to this | reply
I couldn't agree more with all you say here!
posted by
nonconformist
on September 14, 2006 at 4:12 PM
| link to this | reply
Julia
I would like to hear some more of these crimes, if you dare tell. I think it would do you good to get the 'secrets' out. I have a tale of my own to tell, in time.
posted by
avant-garde
on September 14, 2006 at 3:10 PM
| link to this | reply
Julia.
When in doubt, say nothing. That's my motto in both the real and virtual world. Maybe that's not the most courageous approach, but when it comes to the truly gut-wrenching, that's the best I can do.
posted by
Talion
on September 14, 2006 at 3:06 PM
| link to this | reply
Azur--
yes, very true. The intent is what matters more so than the actual words.
posted by
Julia.
on September 14, 2006 at 3:03 PM
| link to this | reply
thanks Ann, it was a lucky guess! LOL.
posted by
Julia.
on September 14, 2006 at 3:02 PM
| link to this | reply
When I post about
personal stuff - ie fears as I did the other day I find that some people offer suggestions that are not really appropriate but I don't blame them as their care is honest and they don't know me and can only go on what they've read or thought they read.
posted by
Azur
on September 14, 2006 at 3:02 PM
| link to this | reply
Carthasis helps. I would like to think that.
Congrats, here are your clicks.
(A)
posted by
A-and-B
on September 14, 2006 at 2:58 PM
| link to this | reply