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ceemarie53
I just got confused by your last statement to me
posted by
Lanetay
on September 12, 2006 at 8:33 PM
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Lilane-
Yes, we love each other and always have. I just had a whirlwind romantic love affair that ended up not so good for me. Depression left him feeling responsible because he had closed me off, emotionally for quite a long while. I know I never write ill of him because I do love him and I was the "infidel" but our love runs deep and he turned out to be the bigger man; he proved to me that he really did love me and now, I'd better get to him before he dons his CPAP mask!! (or no kisses with that thing in place!)
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on September 12, 2006 at 8:28 PM
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swirl
I am confusesd so Jay doesnt love you or does he? Do you love him? He is a victim of depression?
posted by
Lanetay
on September 12, 2006 at 7:55 PM
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Lilane-
So you fall in the category my sisters did. What is there about the 20 year mark? I was always kind and gentle to my husband and always grateful that he stayed with me even after the Parkinson's. I think he stayed with me because he felt responsible for my straying in the first play. He had been growing more distant and self-centered over the years. He didn't even recall why I wept the most bitter tears of my life when I asked if he ever loved me and he could just look at me with nothingness (this is a good year PRE-Mike). He couldn't comfort me or reassure me when he felt so dead inside. It IS hard to love a person with depression (chronic) because so often you give and give and give and their taking is a bottomless pit. It's a black hole. Yes, Mike is obviously very devoted to his first wife. His life is back to normal but better than it was before. If she trusts him, she sleeps with him. He contacts me and all bets are off. She's that kind of woman. Only death will free any of us.
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on September 12, 2006 at 7:26 PM
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Wiley-
Both of my sisters were in marriages that lasted 20 years and both had spouses who left them for another woman. So you can imagine what they had to say to ME! (since I was another woman to Mike's wife!) My oldest brother said they weren't taking sides, but their words all said something else.
God knew there was a Joycie in your future and freed you up because you would not have been able to carry on a romance while being married, am I right?
I am progressing one day at a time and today there is no transgression. Yesterday's reading of the swirling words were a test. I didn't pick the scab; my heart did not bleed.
Thanks for your understanding words. Be grateful for the time you had with you Joycie. It doesn't come like that for many but when it does, ay yi yi. It is incredible, beautiful, and eternal.
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on September 12, 2006 at 7:15 PM
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love letters
I know of what Wiley is talking about after a 20 year marriage and your mate is in love with someone else. The difference be he stopped loving me about five years before he left me for the other woman. I wonder if he ever regrets leaving me. I hope so. Now as you know I seek to find a real true love and its not easy to do, help Jay fall back in love with you, with just the kindness and patience you can give him. He is a brave and strong soul to be in this marriage still. Many men are very loyal to their wives. especially if they need their support to get through a bad or a ill day. Just keep him staying and wanting you. Let him feel that love you had for Mike, be just for him.
posted by
Lanetay
on September 12, 2006 at 1:44 PM
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ceemarie53
I have to take my hat of to your Jay. How does he accept all that you both have lived through.?
As my first marriage of 20 years was crashing down around my ears, my spouse was in love with another too.
It drove me nuts, because I knew from day 1 of our marriage that I loved her but she never had loved me. I had that male anger thing and it was better to fold 'em you know?
I am happy Joyce and I found each other and fell so much in love. I am still living because of it. I did make the move, couldn't turn my back on that love, there was no two ways to go.
Take care my friend.
posted by
WileyJohn
on September 11, 2006 at 9:34 PM
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