Go to From Damn Near Hell To Almost Paradise
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Julia
I am so sorry. I don't know if it's my connection or Blogit but I keep getting error messages when I try to submit something including comments. I actually did respond earlier and the error stole it. Then I just tried to respond again and my AOL crashed. I am quite sure Furby does have something to do with this!
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 10:03 PM
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BEL--
I must be invisible tonight, this is the second blog where I got no response to a comment but everyone else did. Hmmmm. It's a disturbing trend, perhaps you care to blame it on Furby?
posted by
Julia.
on August 21, 2006 at 9:46 PM
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Justi
Thank you so much.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 9:30 PM
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LOL Offbeats
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 9:27 PM
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BlackPearl
I do know that. Sometimes it's just easier to make sense of things if I write it out. Most people think; I write LOL!
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 9:24 PM
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bel
I am one of those that think sex shouldn't be planned, but if I had a husband he darn sure should know the plan...You and Carl will do just fine!!
posted by
Offy
on August 21, 2006 at 9:05 PM
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bel
Honey just love and support that man. He loves you and you love him. All sorts of things have a bearing on our sex lives, but with patience, tenderness and communication it will come back to normal. He probably needs your understanding more now than ever before in his life. It is difficult for you but it could be devestating for him if he thinks his ability to perform is in jeapordy. Just let him get his tests and be there for him until you two know something you can call a name that is the cause. Bel you are a trooper, a fighter you can do this with no real problem until he finds his answers. I'll be praying for both of you.
posted by
Justi
on August 21, 2006 at 9:04 PM
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Why don't I add an "l", next time on the end of that "be"?... Oops... :)
posted by
BlackPearl1
on August 21, 2006 at 8:58 PM
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be,
I ditto what
strat and
TAPS said. You and Carl are great together, and your love absolutely radiates from your posts. I have no doubt that this will be all right, too. So, you better know it, too, girlie! :)
posted by
BlackPearl1
on August 21, 2006 at 8:57 PM
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Strat
Actually you are right. Thanks!
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 7:59 PM
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Avant
thank you so much.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 7:57 PM
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Tanga
We both give what we get to one another. We work hard to support one another.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 7:55 PM
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Wiley
Thank you my dear friend.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 7:54 PM
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Strick
This is something we discussed in length last night. There is a problem as far as he is concerned as well. He has an appointment with the VA on Thursday, hopefully we will get some kind of answer.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 7:54 PM
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Nana
Thank you.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 7:44 PM
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Maggie
Of course I will.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 7:44 PM
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Bel
You sound like you are getting things figured out and --congratulations for being so patient and understanding!!!
posted by
Nanaroo
on August 21, 2006 at 7:43 PM
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I dont know
how long you have been married but men and women view sex differently. As strange as this sounds not all men are sex addicts they can feel very satisfied in just knowing that their wife is there. I can understand your concerns. I have been there - going from once daily to 2 or 3 times a week, to even once every 6-8 weeks and where my husband showed no interest at all or would turn away from me. I seriously thought there was someone else and almost conviced myself that there was. Finally I just laid it all out on the line - my husband was not even aware that our sex life had changed because of the fact as he put it he tends to get tunnel vision. He had been so busy at work and we had become so comfortable with each other that we were no longer sex crazed as when we were first married. Just remember that there are other ways of showing someone love. Your husband had some adjusting to do and many married men that return after a tour of duty also feel guilt for leaving loved ones alone when they return. Just remember that he does love you and is adjusting and needs to adjust again. Its going to be ok.
posted by
StrickGold
on August 21, 2006 at 7:36 PM
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Taps
I am willing to do whatever it takes. Thank you.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 7:36 PM
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Bel, as long as you two are communicating, as long as he is willing to talk, there is hope for things to get back to where you want to be.
posted by
TAPS.
on August 21, 2006 at 6:54 PM
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bel, who knows what he went through in Iraq, or what he may have gotten into? He needs time and your patience, love and understanding. I'm sure in time, things will get better - I hope so for both your sakes. Give it time!
posted by
MaggieMae
on August 21, 2006 at 4:14 PM
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bel 1965
Well, I have nothing to say that will help you really, because I have not lived that sort of experience.
In my first marriage, my wife hated the sexual act itself, but we created 5 babies, lived the sexual terror of the laws of Catholicism.
Ahhh, with my Joycie though for the next 20 years, it was a shared sexual joy. I can understand your dilemma of missing the love.
God bless ya my friend, in time it will all straighten itself out
posted by
WileyJohn
on August 21, 2006 at 4:01 PM
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bel
I'm sure what he went through and continues to feel is hard to express. Perhaps, he has had his defenses up for so long, that it is hard to let them down. I know that when I am anxious for prolonged periods, my interest in sex dwindles. I hope that you two continue to work through this , and the best of luck to you.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 21, 2006 at 11:55 AM
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You have certainly been through a difficult time
I am sure Carl is forever grateful for your support, patience and ultimate understanding
posted by
Tanga
on August 21, 2006 at 11:49 AM
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The love and the comitment is obviously there, so don't sweat it.
The trick now is to pinpoint what the deal is, and you are both obviously ready to do that. Sounds like, inconvenient and weird as things sometimes tend to be, things are pretty okay.
posted by
strat
on August 21, 2006 at 11:21 AM
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good communication is the key to understanding someone else's actions.
Where we get into trouble is making assumptions about what an action means, when it might not mean that at all!!
Furby says 'Allo.
posted by
Julia.
on August 21, 2006 at 11:12 AM
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Bel...Wow. That sounds so terribly painful.
I hope they find out what the problem is and are able to work things out.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on August 21, 2006 at 10:43 AM
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Rumored
They are getting better, thanks!
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 10:32 AM
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bel, I cant and wont pretend to know what you and Carl are going through
but it sounds like things are getting better, slowly but surely...at least you guys can talk openly about it all, and thats more than many can..
..
posted by
Rumor
on August 21, 2006 at 9:43 AM
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Root
I am not counting on it anytime soon. They will pass the buck as long as they can.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 9:34 AM
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Passion
there are still points I see him getting antsy, but little by little he is getting better.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 9:33 AM
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Fourcats
We can be a bit slow about getting there, but we always manage to get there sooner or later.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 9:32 AM
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LLM
thank you very much.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 9:32 AM
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My safe haven is the Upper Peninsula as well, all my family and friends are
there so when I need to get away I always go "home", my sister in law and her husband had a few problems when he got home too. She was used to doing things alone and he was used to not having anyone to answer to for the last year. They were married for 25 years almost so they got through it. The first gulf war, my uncle got "black hairy tongue" and severe migraines from some shot they gave him, and the government for a really long time denied ever giving them the shot. So, hopefully if they did something this time they fess up to our soldiers. Hope all gets well.
posted by
Root05
on August 21, 2006 at 9:08 AM
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There are so many aspects of the war that many of us don't think about
I wish they could simply send men over there for several months at a time and then return them home for a few weeks. maybe that would keep them from getting so 'disjointed' from their regular lives.
I loose myself too, in my work when I leave. I leave my 'normal lifestyle' and go to work in a chaotic, often dangerous situation. I stay in that realm for months. By the time I return, it takes me a while to learn how to fall asleep in my own bed.
I pass hotels and want to check in bec I feel so at home in a hotel room. I love eating in my car. And often go for long drives at night.
No one can understand the human side of war - but I do know something about being separated from your home and family for long periods of time and tossed out into a 'war-like' situation .
posted by
Passionflower
on August 21, 2006 at 9:03 AM
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hey bel - you're very fortunate to have a partner willing to discuss and
examine issues that arise. may peace find it's way to your heart today.
btw - quite the tattoo!
posted by
fourcats
on August 21, 2006 at 8:53 AM
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Bel,
I won't sit here and tell you I know what you're going through, because I haven't got the slightest idea. I do hope things will start to get better for you....
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on August 21, 2006 at 7:15 AM
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