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Schatz
I am sorry to speak ill of the dead but what a horrid woman. I do agree, I think our body responds to what our soul feels.
I can't imagine what you and your family have been through at this woman's hands.
posted by
bel_1965
on September 9, 2006 at 8:38 PM
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When we left California my Mother-in-law was ill and the doctors couldn't say why. I said over and over again that it was stress and guilt. She got sick whenever she got into a fight with someone, or said or did things that hurt others. She was not at all kind or truthful, and she treated many people badly. The main reason we are in trouble financially is that we went to Cali (from Michigan-not a short distance) because she said she wanted us to come there and live. I think she thought my Father-in-law was dying. Then, we got there and I took care of him to the best of my abilities and he pulled through. Soon she made it abundantly clear that she didn't want us there anymore (or ever, really), we moved out, but the jobs there were so scarce and cost of living so high, that we just couldn't make it on our own. We ended up moving back in with them. Less than a year later, when my husband and I finally both had solid, reasonably paid, full time jobs, they put the house up for sale that we were living in. We had been talking about a three year plan to get out of there. It costs a lot to move cross country. When they said the house was for sale, we just left. Scraped together what we could and winged it for MI with three little kids!! It was so scary.
She died three months later, and I solidly believe the guilt of what she had done killed her. No one called us to say that she was ill. Even though she was in the hospital for weeks, she never even called to say good bye to her son or the three grandkids that missed her terribly. My son just told me today, nearly a year later, that he misses her so much, and was I sure she was really dead. I was so sad. Some people just never learn how to be kind or loving, even to children.
My poor husband never even got to say goodbye to the only mother he had ever had, and the kids don't really understand that she is gone. She had two other sons. One was a drug addict, then died in prison and the other one disowned them years ago. It seems like when the mother is no good, it rots the family from the inside out.
posted by
Schatz
on September 9, 2006 at 5:02 PM
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Star
You make a very good point. Thank you.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 29, 2006 at 7:40 PM
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I will pray for your peace and her health.
Stress can also kill a person or make them loose or gain weight.
HIV, CANCER can cause, but stress could be worst than that.
posted by
star4sky5
on August 29, 2006 at 6:08 PM
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Justi
You are right, I doubt I will ever be able to forgive her. I can pity her, I can feel bad for her and I can even make excuses for her but I don't think forgiving her is something within my power. I trust that God will do what is right where she is concerned and I leave it up to him.
Thank You.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 22, 2006 at 7:40 PM
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Bel
What you are feeling is normal. You are her child, regardless. I can not understand some of the things parents do to children. I am sorry this happened to you. It will help you a lot if you make a choice to ask God to forgive her. I don't think I could forgive her and I doubt that you can, but you don't have to, God will do it for you. When that happens it will lift that dirt right off your heart and shoulders. I am so sorry you went through all that you did. Be blessed.
posted by
Justi
on August 22, 2006 at 1:01 PM
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Root
I suspect I will do the same. Maybe we simply morn the person we wished they had been.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 8:28 PM
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Passion
You are right. I just wish these emotions would make some kind of sense to me.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 21, 2006 at 8:28 PM
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It's tough to cut her out of your life, no matter what she's done.
You're doing the right thing though. She's never going to be the mom you wish.
posted by
Passionflower
on August 21, 2006 at 8:22 PM
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my grandfather was a real disgusting puke, and did many awful things to a
lot of my loved ones, however, even though he appalled me- somehow I cried at his passing.
posted by
Root05
on August 20, 2006 at 7:14 PM
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Blanche
I severed the ties years ago and I know rationally to do anything that would have her in my life is toxic, but this is a tough one on me. Thank you.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 20, 2006 at 4:04 PM
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Bel, some things are hard to let go of. I know. I wish I could bring
myself to sever the ties, but can't. There's a primal bond there. My heart goes out to you.
posted by
Blanche.
on August 20, 2006 at 3:55 PM
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