Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
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These are AWESOME!
Were these part of one of those Bulwer-Lytton contests?
posted by
strat
on August 22, 2006 at 6:04 AM
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Quite humorous and in some cases profound, thanks
posted by
Shams-i-Heartsong
on August 21, 2006 at 4:46 AM
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posted by
Offy
on August 21, 2006 at 4:03 AM
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Julia
Some of these are quite comical.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 21, 2006 at 3:04 AM
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Julia, I sent this one to my friend who is a retired English teacher and grades essays for extra money. He hadn't seen these but he was compiling a list of his own to send in. LOL
posted by
TAPS.
on August 21, 2006 at 2:57 AM
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I am glad you posted these
my favourite was the ballerina compared to a dog at the fire hydrant
posted by
Tanga
on August 20, 2006 at 11:20 PM
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Immensely enjoyable ! Julia..
Here are some more:
"His mind was like a spread of liquid cement; whatever fell, held."
"Snapping of the bonds of hostility is prehaps as painful as ths snapping of the bonds of love."
"A tap that was overgenerous with water even when tightly shut, and a cistern that was miserly with it even when tugged voilently."
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on August 20, 2006 at 9:39 PM
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Julia., although, technically speaking, not all of these are bad grammar
somehow the tone is just not quite right in say, "his marriage disintegrating came as a shock like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine", the weight of the two events, seems a little unequal, at least I would hope so! That and the ballerina extending her leg like a dog peeing on a fire hydrant. Does not compute!
Maybe some of the others were trying to be creative and clever, like the Hefty bag full of vegetable soup, the one about the blind guy, or the E. Coli and the side of Canadian beef. They're one of a kind, all right. At least, let's hope so!
posted by
Blanche.
on August 20, 2006 at 9:27 PM
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hilarious....i find Thigh Masters very relevant in all my essays. lol.
posted by
penguinrock26
on August 20, 2006 at 9:21 PM
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Happy Birthday.
posted by
A-and-B
on August 20, 2006 at 7:44 PM
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Agreed---hilarious. Teachers have much to do--but then, will it deprive us?
I love the one --prefer if it happened to me -- when a lover cheats on me, the shock is ONLY as rude as a ATM surcharge. A cheap $2 shock I can handle, heartbreak may cost a tad bit more......shalom
posted by
ILLUMINATI8
on August 20, 2006 at 5:57 PM
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Julia..these are all hilarious..really good...lol... what a desc. of the
ballet dancer..
...
posted by
Rumor
on August 20, 2006 at 2:48 PM
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posted by
A-and-B
on August 20, 2006 at 2:37 PM
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at least that funny, Julia. lol that's a good one. I really did enjoy them.
posted by
MaggieMae
on August 20, 2006 at 1:41 PM
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archiew--
hehe, not bad, nice try!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2006 at 1:32 PM
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Maggie--
as funny as a worm on steroids? LOLOL.
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2006 at 1:31 PM
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straightforward--
and if nothing else, they are good for a few giggles.
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2006 at 1:30 PM
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Those were the most hilarious things I've read in a while!
As funny as a good comic who gets paid good money to make good people laugh and is good at what he does!
posted by
archiew
on August 20, 2006 at 9:43 AM
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Pretty funny,
Julia.
posted by
MaggieMae
on August 20, 2006 at 9:42 AM
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This is an interesting idea of putting together analogies.
The analogies also reflect the level of thinking of the time.
posted by
Straightforward
on August 20, 2006 at 9:28 AM
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ariel--LOLOL!
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2006 at 9:14 AM
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Bel et al
Who needs to be paid with ; free entertainment like that??!!
posted by
ariel70
on August 20, 2006 at 9:09 AM
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Julia
Definitely the deep throaty laugh one!
Gotta thing for da gals wit da deep throaty laffsLOL
posted by
ariel70
on August 20, 2006 at 9:08 AM
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ariel--
it would be so funny if we all did... that is why I stole one for my headline, lol. Which one would you like to take? ;-)
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2006 at 9:04 AM
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cat--
Nancy Kerrigan's teeth--ROFL!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2006 at 9:02 AM
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Julia
Hilarious!!!
One is almost tempted to use some of them in one's work. If used TIC, they're great.
posted by
ariel70
on August 20, 2006 at 8:58 AM
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I liked the hummingbird one also. LOL
posted by
-blackcat
on August 20, 2006 at 8:53 AM
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kitty cat--
that was one of my favorites too.
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2006 at 8:52 AM
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Moon--LOLOL.
I agree!!
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2006 at 8:51 AM
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hahaha... those are great. This one made me laugh out loud...
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
posted by
-blackcat
on August 20, 2006 at 8:49 AM
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This is one of the funniest things I have ever read in my life. I can’t find a hyperbole large enough – so, I think I’ll stick with understatement. MoonSpirit 
posted by
syzygy
on August 20, 2006 at 8:45 AM
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sly--
except that short does not always guarantee brilliance, lol.
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2006 at 8:31 AM
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bel--
that is probably, absolutely, the truth!
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2006 at 8:30 AM
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kingmi--
I know! It's so specific, it's great! lol.
posted by
Julia.
on August 20, 2006 at 8:29 AM
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Some of these are wonderful! Generally, the shorter, the better.
posted by
SlyCy
on August 20, 2006 at 6:58 AM
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I am thinking
That English teachers are way underpaid!
posted by
bel_1965
on August 20, 2006 at 6:37 AM
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Julia,
He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
How do you explain to a student how this is useless? It's so darn great!
posted by
kingmi
on August 19, 2006 at 9:58 PM
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