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BlackPearl
I suspect the difficulty is my mother. He has a relationship with her and I refuse to allow her kind of poisin near my family.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 14, 2006 at 7:31 PM
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Fourcats
I admire your persistance. I just don't know if I can keep doing this. I am not great with relationships and it's even harder with a grown man I barely know.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 14, 2006 at 7:31 PM
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Gosh bel,
I'm sorry that your brother isn't responding to your efforts. Maybe he'll come around, soon. I hope you the best in this situation. Maybe something is making it difficult for him to reach out, as well. Good luck on this. :)
posted by
BlackPearl1
on August 14, 2006 at 7:27 PM
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i have a sister who does everything she can to avoid a "family" moment
with the exception of christmas or if she needs something. yesterday i was visiting my dad, who lives in her basement suite. (which she invited my parents to live in if they moved west, having them pay for the renovations and then charging market value rent on top of it!) as i was leaving, she was out on the porch so i asked her if she would like to come for a walk with chico and i. she actually grimaced in pain and then said no. she too did not acknowledge the gift i gave her for her birthday and the gifts she buys me are never given to me on my birthday but instead are doled at out christmas, when we "have" to get together anyway. her gifts to me are always inappropriately expensive, i guess it's a guilt thing.
i feel so badly for her that she has such a sad heart, i know there were difficulties for her when we were young but we're not young anymore and the family has never been anything but open and loving with her in our adult lives. i hope she finds peace. in the meantime, i'll never give up trying, i just make sure to remember to give freely without expectation.
posted by
fourcats
on August 14, 2006 at 8:17 AM
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Leave the Door Open
If he chooses to communicate, he will. If not, focus on others who appreciate you or those who have no one.
posted by
Dr_JPT
on August 14, 2006 at 5:19 AM
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Corbin
It's a very long and complicated story. Basically this was a last ditch effort for me, because I can't keep going through this.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 14, 2006 at 5:13 AM
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During the time you knew him.....was it an unpleasant period for him, his life, that is? If so it may have nothing to do with you.....he may just want to leave that period behind him and unfortunately you were a part of it...not necessarily the cause......
posted by
Corbin_Dallas
on August 14, 2006 at 4:58 AM
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Bel
It's hard to keep in touch sometimes. My brother and I are very busy. I see him about once a year. He's a pediatrician and works unbelievable hours. He even missed my neice's wedding. I don't think that your brother's ignoring you on purpose.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 14, 2006 at 3:52 AM
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Bel
Maybe he is just not good with e-mails. I feel guilty a lot because I rarely email my Sister or Best Friend.......my sister will always send me emails asking me if I have received her previous emails and my Best Friend teases me about never emailing her back.
I hope that things come together for you soon regarding this relationship.
posted by
BlondeAmbition007
on August 14, 2006 at 1:46 AM
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It's a shame,
But if you keep at it, you might wear him down...
posted by
SilverMoon7
on August 13, 2006 at 11:49 PM
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At leat you made an effort! That's good.
posted by
Whacky
on August 13, 2006 at 11:31 PM
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Bel
A friend of mine went through a similar situation and once every two weeks for almost a year.. she would send a email greeting card and sign it ~ Love.. Your Sister ~ and received a reply around Christmas and it seems that love and persistance won out. They now have a great relationship
posted by
BrightIrish
on August 13, 2006 at 10:49 PM
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(((Bel)))
Sorry sweetie
It's a shame. He's missing out on a wonderful sister!
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on August 13, 2006 at 10:35 PM
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Maybe his computer or his internet is down.
posted by
babe_rocks
on August 13, 2006 at 10:01 PM
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If you really want to know him, then you'll have to push
A little harder. Send him one that says, "Hey asshole! I'm your sister. Let's be friends." or something like that. Sometimes you have to go the extra mile...
posted by
Passionflower
on August 13, 2006 at 9:52 PM
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Shelly
I don't really take it that personally. Just a bit disappointed.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 13, 2006 at 8:52 PM
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bel, try not to take his no response personally...
I'm not trying to make excuses for him, but maybe he's got a busy life, right now? Then again, you've done everything you could do....he might come around, soon
posted by
shelly_b
on August 13, 2006 at 8:45 PM
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Runs at dawn
It does feel that sometimes.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 13, 2006 at 8:39 PM
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Shelly
It's a long story but we were seperated for almost 20 years. We truly don't know one another very well. I guess it was too much to hope for to get them both back in my life.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 13, 2006 at 8:37 PM
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So sorry about that
Sometimes people just disappoint us, right?
posted by
Runs_at_dawn
on August 13, 2006 at 8:35 PM
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bel, my oldest brother has been like that for years...
it seems like I only have one brother, and not two. It's so sad.
posted by
shelly_b
on August 13, 2006 at 8:35 PM
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Blackcat
I've made a point of asking questions that require some kind of answer. I'm a bit slow, but I am getting the hint.
posted by
bel_1965
on August 13, 2006 at 8:25 PM
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Have you asked some questions that require an answer? Some people
(especially men) don't always realize that a response is necessary. If you just write to say Hi or Happy Bday, but don't ask something that warrants a reply, then he might just smile and move on... you know?
posted by
-blackcat
on August 13, 2006 at 8:23 PM
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