Go to To My Estranged Mother
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Not totally her fault
If you mother was manic depressive or bipolar or post traumtic or something like that, she didn't mean to be cruel. Mental illness often goes undiagnosed. She wasn't herself. Blame it on her illness.
posted by
missjohn316
on February 1, 2007 at 11:05 AM
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Carry on...
with therapy. And remember, being happy is the best revenge.
posted by
ClareHill
on January 31, 2007 at 1:55 PM
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You are who you are
You are who you are today in spite of your childhood problems, in spite of your mother. If fact, your mother's behavior, without her realizing it, strengthened you and made you who you are today, able to help others and to set strong goals for yourself.
You need not like who she is to be thankful for how she inadvertently helped you.
posted by
archiew
on January 28, 2007 at 4:10 PM
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Naorem
Thanks for reading.
posted by
BlondeAmbition007
on September 3, 2006 at 8:38 AM
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thanks for the wonderful post on loneliness
posted by
naorem
on September 3, 2006 at 7:31 AM
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I can see the struggle between the tinged memories and the present feelings
that are coming from a certain consciousness
posted by
Straightforward
on August 20, 2006 at 1:20 AM
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BlondeAmbition
posted by
BrightIrish
on August 12, 2006 at 4:00 PM
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JourneyWoman
Thanks for your feedback. I'm glad to know that my writing came across in the way it was intended.
I appreciate your comments and feedback and for visiting!
posted by
BlondeAmbition007
on August 12, 2006 at 9:10 AM
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As the saying goes ... Thanks for sharing!
Wow! I think it must have taken a lot of hard work on your part, and in the end some serious guts, too, to be able to post something so honest and vulnerable here. You're saying things in this post I haven known I need to address in my own life, and have worked toward dealing with for years. I hope I am able to get to a similar point sooner rather than later, and with as much balance of pespective as you've achieved.
Reading some of your post makes me remember that things, after all, cold have been worse; and reminds me that however horrible things seem, no one's alone in their healing process.
BTW ... Thanks for visiting my blog!
Peace tothe ambitious ones, and otherwise!
LOL
Amanda
posted by
JourneyWoman
on August 12, 2006 at 8:13 AM
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I, too, have a strained relationship with my Mother
I made a "contract" with myself. I call her or see her once a week. The conversations or phone calls are usually strained (on my part) and typically one sided (on her part) but I let her yammer on about herself, her travels, and her life. I remain engaged and when it's time to part there's usually a big sigh in me waiting to escape. Often I am left with emptiness and some of those old questions like "How can she be so self absorbed" resurface but I quickly put them back in the vault and reward myself by doing something I enjoy after each of our encounters. It's working so far.....
posted by
Troosha
on August 8, 2006 at 12:53 PM
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Blonde, I'm afraid I got my fill of those
Worn-out, bullshit cliches people use on you a few years back.
I would cry about how my family and my God deserted me in the worst moments of my life and everyone would quote from "FOOTSTEPS" to try to explain it or console me.
Finally, I woke up one morning and said, "Don't quote that Putrid shit to me no more! If God was there, he should have said something. I needed him. I needed my friends. I needed my family. They weren't there."
The journey could have been easier, the pain could have been lessened.
posted by
Passionflower
on August 7, 2006 at 2:30 PM
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BlondeAmbition007
Very good post. It took me a while to forgive my father for not being the father I thought he should have been. I'm glad you have come to this point and understanding in your life. It makes things so much easier, doesn't it?
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on August 7, 2006 at 11:18 AM
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Passionflower
I wish you would post it, at least send to my email. I really respect your views and thoughts. I'm really curious.
I really like what you said about still having a nurturing child hood and turning out good too. I never looked at it that way.
One time my Mom told me after I got out of the Air Force.....I guess it is good how I treated you, because look how good you turned out.....it was like she justified her behavior, that comment from her always burned my ass.
Thanks for your comments.
posted by
BlondeAmbition007
on August 7, 2006 at 10:42 AM
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I know how painful your childhood must have been.
You've been around here long enough to know that some of us were abused physically, emotionally, sexually...by parents who should have loved and nurtured and taught us.
I could say things like, "Well, your fucked up childhood made you the strong woman you are today."
But I won't do that. I feel like you could have had a wonderful, loving childhood with kind, good parents, and STILL have been just as strong and amazing as you are now.
I DO have a controversial theory as to why this happened to you - it's kind of complicated and personal to me and I don't share it much. But maybe I'll do a post later about it.
The trouble is, that it's going to bring all the freaks, wierdos and religious zealots out of the woodwork and get their blood all stirred up and make me have to defend my beliefs.
In the end I'll probably just delete the post and wish I'd never been born...LOL!
posted by
Passionflower
on August 7, 2006 at 10:33 AM
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PatB
Thanks for your support. It does help when I get it all out on paper.
posted by
BlondeAmbition007
on August 7, 2006 at 6:10 AM
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Blonde, it's not a matter of what you do or do not deserve.
Nobody deserves an abusive parent. Your blog is very useful, a way to get the sludge of anger and disappointment out where you can analyze and dismiss it. Bitterness etches and burns away at the vessel that contains it, which means the sooner you get rid of it the better. Peace. :)
posted by
Pat_B
on August 7, 2006 at 5:45 AM
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