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Sunnybeach7
Ok its time to end this. I have never led him to believe I have any more then friendship toward the man and I am not trying to control him in any way. He hurt my ego by playing with you in front of me. He is the one that contacts me, telling me of his love. I didnt say he cheated on me I said he openingly expressed love for you in front of me and all of blogit. That to me is not something he should of said in a way that I wouldnt of seen. If he loves you then tell you in private thru email, the way he has told me. I have never done anything to this man other then read his comments on my blogs and left him comments on his blogs. He hinted that he loved me a long time ago, but finally admited he did and wanted only me. I am not nor have I played head games with him and I dont know where you are getting that from. I expressed my love for another and he turned it around and fantasized it was him that I was writing about.
posted by
Lanetay
on August 7, 2006 at 2:08 PM
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lilane
You say he is not understanding you? How can he?
You have told me and put it out there for everyone on blogit that you "Do not love him, are not
in love with him, it's all one sided".
If that's what you feel, that's fine and good. And absolutely your right. But why play head games with him? You want him to declare his undying love for you in a blog?! Come on now. You don't even want to admit that you have feelings for him, and you just stated that even if you did, you would NEVER express this openly. It's just my opinion of course, but that's a real crappy way to treat someone.
If this is so one sided like you say, they drop it. Leave him alone. What's up with thinking you have the right to control him, or anything he says to me or anyone else? At least he's true with what he's saying.
And FYI...it is possible to love more than one person at the same time. And this is not cheating. Cheating comes in when you have close one on one relations with someone without having told the other in your heart about your intentions or how you feel about the other.
Do you even hear what this man is saying to you? He doesn't want your control, he is not comfortable with control. He's had this his whole life, that's why he is lonely and depressed.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on August 7, 2006 at 1:33 PM
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afzal50
Maybe I am old fashioned but you dont declare love to someone, unless you have given up on another, and I dont believe there is much chance for love from another country, and yes life is too short to waste it on bickering over smalll things but to me this is not small, if or when I was to tell you I love you I wouldnt be expressing it openingly to another.
posted by
Lanetay
on August 7, 2006 at 9:20 AM
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Why are you beating about the bush . First make up your mind and tell me
straight . I am in search of love . Let me tell you, I want some one who is willing and ready to share my feelings and respond to me as I want . Life is not to pass your time quarreling but doing something better and more important in life .
posted by
afzal50
on August 7, 2006 at 9:15 AM
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afzal50
There was a time when I asked you to declare your love for me in a blog and you never did, as I know my personal life isnt all that great. And I did mention in my jealousy blog that I am extremly jealous so you should of taken that into the consideration, before openly expressing your love for someone else
posted by
Lanetay
on August 7, 2006 at 9:04 AM
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afzal50
I see it as I see it, you were coming on to Sunny and telling her things you had said to me, that is what caused this whole problem
posted by
Lanetay
on August 7, 2006 at 8:37 AM
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I would now simply ask you to cool down little so that we are able to
stabilize ourselves. I think we are quarreling unnecessary over something which has never happened . Forgive me if I have hurt you for any reason . I am really sorry .
posted by
afzal50
on August 7, 2006 at 8:32 AM
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afzal50
You have the right to love whomever you want but dont express it to someone in front of me, and dont make emails to make me jealous. Now how am I to know you love only me if you are expressing it in other blogs
posted by
Lanetay
on August 7, 2006 at 8:26 AM
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Idon't understand because you do not declare any thing in clear terms .
You want to act soft with me and show the world that your tough with me . Be frank and tell me what you want from me .
posted by
afzal50
on August 7, 2006 at 8:11 AM
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afzal50
but you dont understand mine
posted by
Lanetay
on August 7, 2006 at 8:04 AM
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So ,atleast you understand my view point .Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on August 7, 2006 at 8:02 AM
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afzal50
I was jealous because of the devoted love you shared with me in all my blogs but you were all heated up by the MA ones and that is what upset me, was that your approach to Sunny was simalar to mine, and yes you are a free man to do whatever you want, but dont express love unless you are saying it from your heart and dont forget who the married one is here. If I expressed my love to you I wouldnt be talking sexual to anyone but you. That is the type of person I am. So you do whatever you want to do. That is like a couple dating and the one says I love only you and the other says I dont have those kind of feelings for you, but you stick around anyway hoping they will change. Who knows they just might in time, but do you move on to the next?
posted by
Lanetay
on August 7, 2006 at 7:43 AM
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Lilane, You say there is no love then why this hue and cry . Am I not a
free man . What is my sin . I asked you to declare your love for me but you did not . You are in two minds , you do not know what to do , to say yes to me or no but you still want to be jealous if I talk to somebody , now this is really strange. You must declare your love otherwise how will any one know that you do love and you have a right to be jealous . My life has become hell, I have been owned by every body and no body loves me . I have no right , I cannot understand why . I want to talk to you privately but you refused , sunny must have understood my pain and she agree to converse with privately. I think you are deeply involved with me but you do not admit I do not know why ? I have a right to my freedom of thought and expression as much as you have . Don't you think that you are wrong to interfere in my personal matters when you had said that our friendhsip is only restricted to Blogit.
posted by
afzal50
on August 7, 2006 at 2:26 AM
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Sunnybeach7
He is very lonely and in a loveless marriage and has told me on many occasions how much he loves me even to the point he wants to come here or he wants me to go there. I know he is a man and a very nice man, but I like him as a friend but there is no love there, its one sided.
posted by
Lanetay
on August 7, 2006 at 12:33 AM
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I'm off to bed, so I'll catch up with you on this tommorow
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on August 7, 2006 at 12:30 AM
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lilane
Ok...I'm confussed? You're saying you love him? Or you don't? I just know I'm missing a point here. Why the jealousy then?
Like I said...maybe you and I just percieve things differently. I don't see in him what you see. Wanting to hear about sex....yeah likely. What sane man doesn't?
What I see is a man who is not happy in his circumstances for whatever reason, who is just looking to feel some outside love and comfort where he's not getting any.
And as you say....he may have to send "bait" for this....if that's how you put it. Loneliness and depression causes a variety of reactions in people. Especially those longing for attention.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on August 7, 2006 at 12:29 AM
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Sunnybeach7
No Sunny its him that has his heart on the platter, I haven't given him any reason to think otherwise. He is the pursuer, but I just didn't like the way he was pursing you in the same manner he was pursuing me. You cant be hurt if you have no love feelings, just the green eyed monster is at it again. I guess I need more self confidence. He is a sweet man and I feel he cares for me in a way I don't return. We will probably never mete or go anywhere with this. I have met a lot of men from the internet and most didn't get to first base.
posted by
Lanetay
on August 7, 2006 at 12:20 AM
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lilane
I think you're assuming that all men are weak....that every man will give into temptation and betray. This is simply not true. It may be true for many, but not every man in the world will react this way.
Ok....I read your jealousy post. What I seen from this one was a very interesting, loving conversation...although, he did imply that he is a "friend". The only advice I can give you is to make sure he's feeling the same thing you're feeling. If he's not, then it won't work out. There's so much against you already....you being here, him being there...and some of the other things about him that you're aware of. I know this is easier said than done, but try not to set yourself up to be hurt.
You have to find out what's going on. And you have to do this without pressure. If he gives in to you, just for pressure, he may end up resenting you. I know all about this. It took me years to get over resenting someone for pressure.
You haven't even met him....there's a big chance the physical reality wouln't even work between you. Have you ever met anyone from online before? Will you pack up your things and move there, in hopes that everything will just work out? That's a big risk. That's a big risk. Trust me on this one.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on August 7, 2006 at 12:12 AM
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I think we are all flirts to some degree...
Women as well as men. Perhaps it's just human kindness, an attempt to reach out in a platonic way to another, but because of the sexual nature inherent between men and women, it can become...complicated, lol. Men also get jealous too. I don't really know the answers about behavior; try to let my heart be my guide but sometimes I go in the wrong direction on either side. I do feel that if you love someone and don't want to upset them, you should at least be aware of how friendly you are to the opposite sex. There is a line there somewhere..
posted by
Katray2
on August 7, 2006 at 12:11 AM
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